our relationship is falling apart.. we both see it. He is Not exactly good to me.. and i use to feel like a strong girl.. and now i feel pathetic and week.. and I already love my baby.. But here i am 9 months pregnant and im clinging to him. I know i have to do this on my own.. Im just terrified. I am still inlove with him. that makes it even harder. But i know i need to think of my daughter first. Im just so scared.. I beg him to stay...
2006-11-06 05:55:52 · 24 answers · asked by pladedah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why are you so scared? Because you've obviously spent alot of time thinking about everything it takes to do it alone. I commend you for that already. Being a single mother is a huge undertaking. I am single mother of 3 children (5, 7, 8) and it gets harder every day. But the rewards are so worth it. When you see them do well in school (my kids are older, obviously) or even just sitting down after they're all in bed and knowing that all the housework is done and you have an evening to just chill (ok, honestly this happens maybe once a month), but those times you have to learn to relish your "victory."
I will tell you this. I gave a baby up for adoption 2-1/2 years ago because I knew I couldn't do the single thing with 4. That baby's father wasn't my ex-husband as were my other 3 and there was so much drama involved that I didn't think it was fair to her. I did the right thing by her and by my other children and for that I will always be both proud and grateful.
The best advice that I can give you is to continue doing what you're doing already - keep putting your daughter first. Do all things for the betterment of your child. Make yourself accountable to her. And remember that YOU are her example of who and what she wants to be. Give her a good example to follow. One of the mottos that I live by is "I am so proud of my children. I only pray that they are proud of me, too."
Live to make your daughter proud and you'll be fine!
Good luck! Email me if you ever want to talk
2006-11-06 06:12:05 · answer #1 · answered by whatsgoinon3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, honey. You are scared because you don't know what is going to happen and people usually fear the unknown. First, don't beg him to stay if, "He is NOT exactly good to me". It's the worst of all possible situations for you and the baby. Second, talk to someone about your fears. I find that just talking about what I fear sometimes helps me through the fear, and then I can think about what I need to do instead of be scared. I am sure that there are social programs in your area that help young women in your condition ... contact them. Talk to your parents if they are around. If not, talk to a clergyman. Definitely seek out a support network. Above all, believe in yourself. You are far stronger than you think you are. Thousands of women have successfully raised a child on their own and I know you can too. My heart goes out to you and I wish you all the best. Be strong.
2006-11-06 06:05:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him go - if your relationship is not working now - it wont get better after the baby is born... taking care of a new baby is hard work you should be afraid - but trust me it is harder to take care of a baby when you are in a bad relationship. You and your baby deserve a good life - it will take time and alot od patience but someone will except you and your baby with open arms one day... just get away from the jerk father and make him pay child support thru the state in which you live...turn to your family for support , never give up on what you want outta life and you will be fine...
2006-11-06 06:01:27 · answer #3 · answered by beachnut222000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. My ex-hubby and I split when my daughter was 3 mos. It would have ended sooner but I was scared like you. You are stronger than you think you are. NEVER beg a man to stay. Take it from me, it gives them the freedom to act an *** even more. I was terrified, my family wasnt much help. Be the best mother and woman you can be. There ARE good guys still out there.
2006-11-06 06:03:52 · answer #4 · answered by vivian M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not good to you...run. There are many types of abuse: physical/sexual, mental, verbal. You said you feel pathetic and weak, so something/someone is making you feel this way.
If he loved your baby (like you already do), then he would take better care of the woman who is carrying his child. You should feel safe, loved, and comforted right now, but you don't. If he can't help you know, he's not going to help you or the baby later. Babies do NOT fix broken relationships. Babies are alot of work and will put more stress on the two of you.
Get out of the relationship now. I know you are in love, scared, and other things but the situation is only going to get worse if you don't leave. There are thousands of single moms (like myself) who do just fine and believe me, you WILL get over him!
2006-11-06 06:08:13 · answer #5 · answered by tbonz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont be scared. I have raised 4 children on my own and i have been told i have made a good job. You cannot stay in a relationship for a childs sake, its not fair on the child. I gather you have family around you, you will be surprised how much they will help you if you need it. Dont stay with your partner if your not 100% happy.You are right you must think or yourself and your daughter. Good luck hope all goes well for you xx
2006-11-06 06:00:17 · answer #6 · answered by spensmum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt have to beg him to stay. You can do it, there are many other women in the world doing the same thing. There are groups you can join or things you yourself can do to. Think of what your daughter needs, a strong mother to keep her happy and safe. You can find a better man to help support you and your baby. You dont need him YOU CAN DO IT!!!! I'm rooting for you! :)
2006-11-06 05:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes there are pleasant men available in the market! I agree you must be extra selective, and I might recommend towards bringing house a man till you suppose secure. If you are having challenge trusting simply your possess judgement, make certain to introduce him to peers you believe and take their suggestions under consideration. (Something I recommend any individual relationship, now not simply unmarried mothers) Here's yet another factor to believe approximately .. when you stop on discovering any individual and being joyful - what do you believe you are instructing your daughter? I applaud your problem and care, however I do not believe you being unsatisfied is a well factor both. Its a hard stability however you will not uncover it till you check out! Get available in the market! Good success !
2016-09-01 08:09:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
begging a man that does not treat you well to stay is not good.. that is not good for you or the baby.. if you are not happy keeping him there is not going to make the situation better.. i was told once that if a man is not worth marring than don't waste your time.. b/c you deserve better than that.. you and you bundle of joy.. a bad relationship can tear you from your baby. women are the toughest people on earth.. keep your head up and put a smile on your face.. b/c none of that will matter once you are holding you sweet baby girl.. there is a lot of help out there for single mom's.. don't be afraid to use that help... pick up the phone and call 211 it's free helps for women.........
2006-11-06 06:07:08 · answer #9 · answered by crystal S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put the baby up for adoption. The child needs 2 parents who are committed and mature enough to raise a baby -- not a single mother clinging to a guy who's not interested. Think of the baby, rather than your own feelings. She needs more than what you/he can give.
www.adoption.org
2006-11-06 05:58:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋