My husband and I are planning a vow renewal for our 6 year anniversary. When we first got married we did it at the court house and promised ourselves if we made it 5 years we would do it over (the way it should have been done the first time) The thing is we don't want to spend a ton of money on this thing. We found a chapel that is very reasonable and even has catering if you want it with a very nice menu. But with the cost of food being so expensive we had to cut the guest list to a bare minimum so we could feed everyone. I am really not happy about this. Do you think it would be rude to invite everyone we want to be there and just ask them to bring a dish for the reception? That way everyone we love can attend and we can all sit down to a nice meal?
2006-11-06 05:16:49 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Everything in life boils down to how it's presented.
Your idea of this pot-luck wedding is unique, but it also has a special charm about it too.
If you word the invitations right and don't use the traditional white or ivory invitations, you could really pull this off.
You could even start by saying, once upon a time...........and tell about how you met and how you made this vow about having a special wedding on your 5th anniversary. You could even go on further to say you have so many friends and loved ones, that you didn't want to limit the participation to just the wedding party......that you wanted everyone to be "in" the wedding party......and therefore you want to make it a more participatory reception by asking everyone to bring a dish in which they specialize.......it would be an added special touch if the wedding cake was made by someone special to you instead of having a bakery do it.
Everyone likes to be "included" instead of just attending something. I think with the right presentation and a little creative wording, you could pull this off without offending anyone and probably tugging at everyone's heart strings by making them feel like they were part of something very special.
Best wishes and have fun!
Robin in Tennessee
2006-11-06 05:32:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is "bad" etiquette to ask your "guests" to bring a dish to "your" reception. The reception is a way of sharing "your" happiness with the people you love So it is your responsiblity to make sure they have a relaxed evening. The last thing they want on their minds is..what should I bring to the reception and will everyone like it? You and your husband are the one's who are totally responsbile for the food. Now if you want home made dishes, you can ask your family members to help with preparing dishes to save you and your husband on the cost of catering, if you are going to go that route. But you cannot turn this into a "family reunion" or a "picnic" where everyones brings a dish. It's not that type of an affair. You and your husband are extending your guest an opportunity to sit down and enjoy a wonderful day with you. They should not be cooking. But once again if you cannot afford to cater, get with your "immediate family and friends" and see if they can help you put the meal together. This way, you can still extend an invitation to everyone.Do not ask a lot of people, just ask a few of your close family members and friends. To extend an invitation to only those who will bring a dish would not be very nice on your part either. Anything else would be distastful and take away from the reason you are having the affair in the first place. Keep in mind that this is your 6th wedding anniversary celebration, not a "bring your own brown bag" situation. If you can't afford this affair at this time and you are unable to do it in a way that you will feel good about it, maybe you might consider waiting to do it at another time. We don't want you and your husband to be "stressed out" either. And finally another option is to make this a "small" intimate affair with just a "few" of your close family members and friends. Have it at a local restaurant, but you and your husband must foot the bill.
2006-11-06 05:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that is a WONDERFUL idea! I actually went to a wedding something like that. It was the 2nd marriage for both bride and groom. They rented a pavilion at a picnic park. Just beside the pavilion was a small creek where they set up and 'aisle' using crepe paper streamers held down with pretty stones. Everybody brought lawn chairs or sat in the grass. The couple asked everybody to bring a favorite dish to serve 10 people. They provided the lunch meat and rolls and her mom made the wedding cake! All the food was set up in the pavilioin. It was the BEST wedding I have ever been to and I heard a LOT of people say the exact same thing!
2006-11-06 05:49:04 · answer #3 · answered by loyerd6 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason people are not asked to bring food to the wedding is because they are bringing you a GIFT. If you put something sweet on the invites like - "Funds are tight - but we've thought this through and decided we don't want to exclude anyone. Please join us and bring ONLY the gift of yourself and one covered dish." There would not be anything wrong with that. Some people might think it's tacky - but if people don't want to celebrate your union if it means they have to provide a green bean casserole - then you know - you really don't want them there anyway.
My best friend's son got married last year in Vegas - and when they returned they asked everyone to come to a party and bring a cake. They had a cake party/reception - and it was REALLY FUN. Everybody had a ball - because we all loved them - and wanted to celebrate their union and love for each other. Bringing a cake was a snap - and you should have seen all of the cakes!! A bunch of different kinds - and very many creative cake toppers. All of the leftovers fed the people after church the next day. It was a blast!
Congratulations to you on six years!
2006-11-06 05:41:33 · answer #4 · answered by liddabet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is not proper etiquette...if you are asking them to bring something, then it is a pot-luck and not a reception. Now, if you are willing to forgo the "usual" sit-down dinner, you can have an hors d'ouvres reception...have the caterer pass some and then have stations for other things. Plan it before the regular dinne-time (say around 1 or 2) so people aren't expecting a full meal...then you should be able to invite everyone and not pay through the nose!!
2006-11-06 07:34:23 · answer #5 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there's anything wrong w/it considering this is just vow renewal ceremony and not the "initial first-time" wedding, you can be a little more "informal" and keep things light-hearted.
Stick with an "Eat, Drink and be Merry" type based idea/theme and ask family members from each side to bring their specialty or dish that's your family's traditional favorites in lieu of gifts...afterall, being married already for 6 years, what do you need as a couple that you don't already have...this may help w/the "What do we buy them" dilemma that some guests may have.
2006-11-06 05:31:27 · answer #6 · answered by secret_oktober_girl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think thats an awesome idea. I wouldn't have a problem with that at all. My mom did that for her wedding (it was a 2nd marriage). They provided some food but told everyone to bring a dish and their own drinks. It turned out great. Everyone had an awesome time, no one had a problem with it and my parents didn't have to go into debt. Its all about sharing your special day with the ones you love, not showing how much money you have. And congrats on making it to 6 years of marriage :)
2006-11-06 05:23:32 · answer #7 · answered by SexyLady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having people bring a dish for a wedding reception is a little tacky....my suggestion is to gather your close family and friends prior to the day of the event and decide what dishes ya'll can make to "stretch the menu" to feed your guests. It's inexpensive without being tacky (a little hands on) and you get to invite everyone you want.
FYI Pasta dishes are often filling without being expensive....
just make prior arrangements just before the ceremony so that the food is ready for the reception.
2006-11-06 05:24:30 · answer #8 · answered by teaspoon520 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It would be fine. Your family will understand that this day is for you and your husband. They will also understand that they are important to you and that you want them there either during the ceremony or at the reception...And if they get upset invite them to the ceremony and realize it may be as special to that person as it is you. I guess you need to think about it in a way of closeness. How close you are to each individual. This is a decision that will be personal to you and your husband and yes, your friends.
Good Luck, and have a great day...You two have earned it,.
2006-11-06 05:23:24 · answer #9 · answered by robin dupree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive never been to a reception for a vow renewal. But, this is what I would do, ask everyone to bring a dish, but ask them please not to bring a gift. I dont know if it is customary to bring a gift to that kind of event. Basically what Im getting at is I personally dont think it would be rude to ask everyone to bring a dish as long as you dont expect a gift too. Ya know?
2006-11-06 05:25:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋