Is it rude to visit someones home and not eat their cooking?

Question

I did this yesterday and it seemed like the people were offended. I didn't make plans to visit so I had no idea I'd be at their home or that they would be cooking. Because I didn't know I was visiting these people or that they were cooking I ate prior to being invited. I explained all of this to them, but it still didn't seem to sit well with them.

Answer 1

Yes, you were boorish and you need to apologize. Perhaps some flowers and a note thanking them for their hospitality.

Answer 2

I do this all the time. I dislike it when people get offended when I don't eat their cooking even when I've explained to them that I have already eaten. Although, I know that some people from different countries are seriously offended when a guest does not eat their cooking. It's considered very disrespectful. If the people you didn't eat from are still upset with you, next time you drop by just eat whatever they give you. Hope this helps. :]

Answer 3

no, but some people (I know that I spend a lot of time in hispanic homes and this can be a big deal) consider it rude to turn down their food if they offer it to you. Especially if you do not know them very well. My suggestion is next time you go, whether you ate or not say "I'm full but it looks good I'd love to try a tiny bit!" orsomething that shows you want to honor and respect your hosts but do not have a big appetite. Americans tend to try and be polite and out of the way when visiting someone who's eating but it's not like that in most other cultures. Or maybe if they offer and you have already eaten, say no thanks I already ate but can I sit and have a glass of water/wine/coffee/ etc with you? so you are not being isolated from them.

Answer 4

If I were in that situation I probably would have first said, "No thank you. I don't want to impose." That way, if they were only offering the food to be polite they could have just said okay or maybe next time or something to that affect. But if they were genuinely offering most people would counter the "don't want to impose" part and offer the food again. At that point I would have said I already ate, but would try some.

Answer 5

In many cultures it is impolite not to eat especially if they are going to be eating. They won't in many cases eat while you are there unless you are eating as well which may be considered rude on their part. You might suggest that you are only there for a moment (if that is the case) and don't want to interrupt their meal and excuse yourself.

Better would be to be gracious and try a small portion and join in. I know - MANY cultures will give you an ENORMOUS plate of food as with my family and friends. Just try your best; you may enjoy some GREAT food. You can always do an extra work out to make up for it!

Answer 6

I've done it too. I didn't mean to be rude if I was. It was Christmas, and I rarely eat meat. So the turkey and ham I just picked at but ate the sides and salad. When the dessert came it was pumpkin. I HATE pumpkin. When I declined dessert very politely they asked "Don't you like the food??" I tried to be nice and explain graciously that I don't care for pumpkin and offered it to other family.

I think it's more rude for the hosts to take offense and try to push more food on me that I've already explained I don't eat. It wasn't their cooking at all.

Answer 7

Etiquette, also known as decorum, is the code that governs the expectations of social behavior, the conventional norm. It is an unwritten code, but it may evolve from or into a written code. The Greek equivalent of etiquette was protokollon, protocol, the written formula for ceremonial. It usually reflects a theory of conduct that society or tradition has invested heavily in. Like "culture", it is a word that has gradually grown plural, especially in a multi-ethnic society with many clashing expectations. Thus, it is now possible to refer to "an etiquette" or "a culture", realizing that these may not be universal.

Sometimes it would seem discourteous in certain cultures, however, if you indicated that you'd already eaten, the individuals of the home should understand that and accept it. It really wasn't rude, especially since often, we have food allergies and it just isn't proper to always accept a meal when you'd not planned to do so in the first place. The host should always be acceptable to this since most of our etiquette rules now involve culture or tradition. In that sense, those offering would just have to understand other individual's own preference and just be content to have offered it to you. :)

Answer 8

NOT rude at all... I refuse to eat at some homes simply because its a pigpen !! I don't tell the owners that they are pigs but I politely decline the meal and carry on a conversation. If they are offended that I did not eat that is simply THEIR problem not mine!

I also limit time spent with people who live in such a way that I couldn't eat at their home. Being clean is not a chore... It is easy but some people just don't get it! It costs next to nothing to clean your house and those who don't are just plain lazy !

Your aquaintences will get over it if they were offended and you have nothing to fret!

Answer 9

In our culture/society, yes, it is rude - but only if you don't explain or be polite about it. I think it's fine to tell them you just ate and aren't hungry, and then add "smells delicious!". Most people will understand and won't be offended by your choice.

Answer 10

Just tell them you already ate if you are stuffed.

If you can manage a little more food say,
" I already ate... but I'll try some or one of the things"

Answer 11

If you were invited to dinner, yes it would be rude. But in this case, dinner/lunch was not indicated in the invite, so it was not rude.

How would these people feel if you were invited over and demanded to be fed?