I have a friend who had it really rough growing up. Her father was a very violent alcoholic and drug addict and her mom just didn't care about anything. They never really had a home, always staying with relatives. But, when she was around 11 they didn't even stay with relatives anymore. They slept in this deserted trailer with no water, heat, electricity or anything. Well, what I'm getting to is that 3 years ago (she is now 17) her dad died. Even though he was an awful man and I don't see how she could have feelings for him she loved/loves him dearly. She slipped into a depression but is better now. However, she confided to me that she dwells on something. She thinks that God can do anything and if she prays hard enough he will turn back time for her. She said that when she is bored or with nothing to do she just sits and thinks about what she would do if he done that for her. I don't know what to do. How can I help her?
Thanks for your help.
2006-11-06 04:38:37 · 11 answers · asked by Led*Zep*Babe 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
All I can say to you is to urge her to not dwell on the past, nothing good can come out of that. She just needs to move on because her whole life is ahead of her. She has many experiences to live through still, and many good memories are just ahead. Being stuck in the past is self destructive, because there is nothing you can do about it. I hope this helped a little, good luck!
2006-11-06 04:54:22 · answer #1 · answered by The Edge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may appear okay now , but she is not. She is a little delusional. As a Christian, yes I believe that God can do anything. Even turn back time, however, would it make sense that he do that? Not only would turning back time potentially bring back her father, but it would change the entire world back to time, which is an unrealistic request to make of God. . She will maybe see her father again in eternity, I don't know if he was saved. He may have done horrible things but also may have gotten saved at some point, I don't know.
Maybe as her friend, I don't know what you believe, but maybe pray to God for her to have a realization that her father is gone now and not going to come back in this lifetime (as I say, only the he and God knows his status as being saved). Pray that she be strengthened to deal with and accept this and move on in her life seeking his will.
If you don't believe, maybe make an exception for your friend and pray, she really needs some help, she is in denial. You might suggest going with her to a counselor, to Pastor at a church, a Priest, a social worker, somewhere to talk. Maybe if you go with her it will help. Please look after her, as she may appear ok, but she is not.
2006-11-06 04:51:33 · answer #2 · answered by Gardener for God(dmd) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are five stages to grief:
Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
Depression (I don't care anymore)
Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)
It sounds like your friend is very firmly stuck between three and four. This isn't uncommon, but praying isn't going to help her. She needs professional therapy. Many children who grew up in abusive households love their parents none-the-less, and someone who grew up in the kind of situation you describe is more prone to trip up somewhere in the grieving process. Looking to God may help her, but it won't heal her. She needs to seek grief counseling or a support group. There are lots of them out there that can help her deal with the situation before she becomes more delusional.
2006-11-06 05:05:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to hear for your friends troubles. This is a simple psycological problem. She is living inside of this dream that she can ask god to fix it and he will. It could be the barganing stage, but it seems to have lasted a long time. All that can be done is to help her. If it lasts for too long, try to make her understand that it is not possible, at least, not in our universe. Just make sure she does not live inside this false world forever.
2006-11-06 04:45:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.
Let her know that God loves her very much. Don't judge her as to why she loves her father. He was the only father she has known.
Exodus 20:12 Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
God did say for us to honor our Mother and Fathers. He did not say, only the ones that gave us good lives. God has a purpose for her,and I will keep her in my prayers along with you too!
God bless you.
2006-11-06 04:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is good to love your friend so much. However, it is impossible to turn back time, but since she has such a good time, the Lord will see past the bad times and will watch over him for her. Just tell her to pray with faith and that maybe they'll be able to see eachother again..WITH PEACE this time. God bless.
2006-11-06 04:45:10 · answer #6 · answered by lucy_babbie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can pray that this girl will come to know Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. God gives back what the locusts have taken away, He gives the oil of joy for morning, beauty for ashes, and the garment of praise for the spirit of despair. There is no power in the universe, other than the transforming power of Jesus Christ, that can help her. And He will. He can make her grow tall and straight, change her heart, her future, her life, make her see things in light of His promise, hope and love. I will pray also that God guide her and heal her, in Jesus' name.
2006-11-06 04:42:40 · answer #7 · answered by Esther 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs professional help. Having abusive parents (and yes, a mother that "just didn't care" is a form of abuse) can really screw up a kid when they're most impressionable and learning to form their future relationships. She'll have a very long road ahead of her, but with supportive friends like you, she might be able to get healthy.
2006-11-06 04:46:08 · answer #8 · answered by x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since this is the religious section, I assume you wish a 'religious' answer.
The Bible puts forth the best attitude in Phillipians 3:13
"Forgetting the things behind and stretching forward to the things ahead......"
She must put the past behind her and set out to make herself a new life.
Not easy, but necessary and beneficial.
2006-11-06 04:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by Uncle Thesis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just another stage of the depresion. She's deneying the loss is permanent. If she was saying she would see him heaven that whould be a different story but she has to relize that he is actually gone before she can get over her loss.
Wow, I did pay atention in health class.
2006-11-06 04:43:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋