Moms of two or more....?

Question

Do you feel that you are doing a good job of spending quality time with each individual child in addition to 'quality' time with both/all the kids? I work full time and I sometimes feel that I do not get enough quality time individually with my children--especially my 6 year old. My little one is 14 months so it will be a little while before he notices, but I really feel that I'm slighting my six year old...it's true we don't have as much time together as we used to before my son came along, but I feel like I'm REALLY short changing her. Am I the only one???

Wednesday we took her best friend out for chocolate fondue, Friday we had dinner with grandma and her cousin--though she spends every friday night at Grandma's house...I DO spend alone time with her, but not as much as I feel I should....

Answer 1

You can do it - it takes a little juggling and creativity from people like the ones who have responded to your email - there's no advise like that which comes from experience. I have two children (now 10 1/2 & 6). When the baby was the baby - we talked about the neat things the older one could do now, because she was the older one (not just big sister with more responsibilities to help mommy & daddy). We would be purposeful in doing "big girl" things with her and talk up the advantages of this - often. Then there would be dates with daddy and mommy time - even if we were all at home - it will take the attention off the fact that "mommy is always with the baby" or "daddy is with the baby again". With girls - a nail painting session or a lotion hand massage with lots of conversation goes a long way. It's the vocabulary you use, the praise, the conversation and the hugs and smiles that will be remembered way more than the "events". Enjoy, mommy!

Answer 2

I thought it was hard when my 2nd was a baby, too. It is hard, you have to spend so much more time with a baby than an older child and I did feel bad. I think if you make sure you are spending some quality time with each child it is good. I know with my oldest, sometimes all she needed was a short snuggle on the sofa at the end of the night and she'd be happy.

Do you best, that's all you can do.

Answer 3

yes I feel I don't get enough quality time with my kids...there is always something going on. Mind you 2 of my three are teens so the interest to spend time with mom is not as it use to be. However I do find that my 3 yr old gets time but sometimes not enough as I too work outside the home, it is difficult juggling a family and career, all we can do is spend as much time as we can and hope that it will be enough.

Answer 4

I have a 11yr and soon to be 4 yr old. I do not work but my 3 yr old is severely handicapped and i feel the same way you do having to give my little more attention. I talk to my 11 yr all the time discussed thew issues with her and it helped allot. Also my 11 yr old is really involved in my babies care she knows everything from drawing her meds to suctioning her trach. The point I'm trying to make is talk to the children explain things and maybe 1-2 nites a week all of you do something together good luck

Answer 5

You will never spend as much time as you would like to, because you work full -time. That is the way most working moms feel. I was working FT and a PT for a while with three kids.......
Life unfortunately happens, bills need to be paid. The day only has 24 hours........

Don't feel bad. As long as you are spending time with your children and not just ignoring them when you get home from work you are doing okay.

Answer 6

i know exactly how you feel.i have a 7 y/o and an almost 3 y/o and im pregnant with #3.i feel so overwhelmed sometimes by how im going to split up my time between 3 children.i mean children have such different needs at different ages that sometimes it can get hard to fulfill all of there individual needs.i just try to spend as much time with both as i can.i am planning on having the 2 oldest help me care for the new baby so they feel included as opposed to excluded.as parents all we can do is our best and hope that will be enough.

Answer 7

i have 3 kids and spending individual time with all of them is hard i work full time some finding the time to spend time with them is hard as well what i do ,is take an off day and dedicate it to my kids we do all the activity's that they want to do and in that time i let them each be the boss at whatever they chose do and that lets me focus on the one who is not to fond of the activity at hand .i do this until everyone has had a turn. i also assign them talk time while the other is getting a bath or doing homework.hopefully they all feel like they are getting that mommy time

Answer 8

I have three kids. I am constantly feeling like I need to spend more one on one time with them. They are 9,6 and almost 1. My baby has special needs and requires a lot of hands on attention. I feel like my older two need more attention. Also even though i am doing my daughters medical stuff, meds, etc., I don't feel like I spend enough time with her just playing. It is really hard.

Answer 9

when my 2nd and 3rd came along, we created "daddy and me and mommy and me" time for the kids--we do these once a month I will take out one child (to lunch, a movie, the park, shopping) just to spend alone time with them, my husband does the same--that way each child gets some one on one time with us, we also do something together as a family on Friday or Saturday evenings, depending on which day fits our schedule better.

Answer 10

i have two kids one is going to turn5 and the other one 1. i think that i havent spend a lot of time with my daughter one reason is because i work and the other is because i spend more time with my son because i have to follow him everywere. i think this happens to alot of parents specialy if they are a single parent.