Last year we traveled halfway across the country to visit my husband's family. When we told them that we would be there we were told not to bring gifts for the adults since there are were 16 children in the family (18 this year -our kids plus 16 nieces and nephews). This is a lot of stuff to bring with us on the plane as it is so we appreciated not having to bring the extra packages. We got there and the gifts were passed out and we received several gifts (some were breakable). I really appreciate them but I feel that I shouldn't be receiving this if I'm not giving them, too. It is also extra stuff to bring home on the plane as we already need to bring home our children's gifts.
So, how do I tell them 'please, no gifts for the adults' without offending anyone? I'm tempted to tell them that everything broke on the plane home last year.
2006-11-06 04:14:33 · 7 answers · asked by AlongthePemi 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ali, we weren't even the ones who declared 'no gifts', they did - and they are the ones who gave us the breakables. Thankfully they survived the trip home because they are nice things but one of these times they will have wasted their money on shattered gifts.
2006-11-06 04:47:50 · update #1
Send some big, general mail-order gift that everyone can enjoy -- like order some fruit from a Florida grove, for delivery the day after you arrive. That way, you are thoughtful of all, but not burdened with carrying the gift during your journey.
www.honeybell.com is a good grove.
2006-11-06 04:39:24 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have two options here.
1) Make it positively clear that you will not accept any gifts that you receive. Say that if you are not expected to bring gifts then you don't want to be accepting them. Let it be known that you absolutely positively will not take any gifts back home with you - that if you get any when you are there - they will be donated to a charity. Get everyone you are going with to back you on this in advance - or don't even try it.
2) Buy gifts anyway. If no one you are traveling with will back you on not accepting gifts and if you think that the people you visit will ignore the rules - then don't abide by them either.
2006-11-06 13:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, it's very rude to put rules on gifts you're receiving. You can very politely inform the family that you subscribe to the belief that since the family is so large, gifts should be given to the children but are not necessary for the adults.
If you receive gifts anyway, perhaps consider donating them to a local Goodwill before you leave.
2006-11-06 12:32:19 · answer #3 · answered by Ali 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain your situation with plane overload. With our large family, we do a small gift exchange. Picking your names this year to purchase all year long for next year. Inexpensive and keeps things FUN. Or, everyone brings a gift of their own gender and play game(s) to get to chose a gift from under the tree. $10/$15 or less.
2006-11-06 12:37:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them. Be honest and let them know that it is difficult to pack the gifts for the plane trip home. If they insist that they want to give you a gift, ask that they make a donation to your favorite charity in your name! Then they have the joy of giving you a gift and you get the satisfaction of helping someone in need!
Hope this helps! Happy holidays!
2006-11-06 12:27:05 · answer #5 · answered by tweeteebrrd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them seriously.
2006-11-07 11:27:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't bring any. If they still don't get it....they will soon.
2006-11-06 12:22:24 · answer #7 · answered by johndoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋