We're in our mid-twenties, and we've been dating exclusively for a few years and we've been living together for the past year and a half.
We get along great, we never fight, we enjoy the time we spend with each other, and I have no doubt she'll be a wonderful mother someday. Our personalities mesh very well. Also, the sex is pretty darn good.
However, there's no spark, and there never has been. I've never experienced the rush of being head-over-heels for her. I love her, but I don't feel like I'm in love with her. It's very upsetting. Also, I'm just not attracted to her physically. I feel superficial for that, but it's true.
So what do I do? I have this remarkable, really almost perfect woman in my life, but she just doesn't do it for me. Should I keep what I have and be happy but feel forever discontent, or should I scrap the best thing that's ever happened to me in the hopes that I'll find better?
2006-11-06 03:51:38 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you answered your own question when you called her "the best thing that's ever happened to me." If you mean that, do you really think you're going to find better? The rush is more of a teenage thing, if you ask me. When you're a little older, I think you find yourself looking more for someone you can have a stable future with and from what you've said, I think you could have a very stable future with this woman. Everyone has second thoughts, but I think you really have something there, even if you don't realize it.
2006-11-06 03:55:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well your situation is a tricky one and either road you choose you will hurt or make someone else hurt. In the end you always have to do what feels best for yourself you should never live for someone else. Its going to be hard at first. Your going to miss her and she is going to hate you for a while.
The whole thing with young love is it changes because you change. The person you were at 19 or 20 is totally different than the person you are at 24 or 25. So maybe at one time she felt great for you but now it just doesn't fit.
One thing is quit having sex with her if you don't "like her like that anymore" dont take advantage of her like that its not fair to her at all...
Start to pull away slowly and she will ask you why and tell her the truth (not about her being unattractive in your eyes) about how you feel like you just need something different you need to explore yourself and look for a different kind of happiness. She will cry and be upset and it will be all your fault..
But thats the road you want.....
2006-11-06 12:00:23 · answer #2 · answered by kaliprincess82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've already spent a few years together and you're still unsure. It's unlikely that the spark will come anytime soon. You have to ask yourself whether you can live like this for the rest of your life? What are you gonna do if you meet someone later on whom you're physically attracted to? Are you gonna leave the one you're seeing now? There is no such thing as a perfect woman. However, there are couples who are perfect for each other. If you don't think this is the life you want for the rest of your life, let go of her, and let her find someone who would truly appreciate her.
2006-11-06 11:58:18 · answer #3 · answered by Chicagoan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really answered your own question when you said "she just doesn't do it for me." The one you're with should make you feel crazy in love. I've been with my fiance for over 2 years and I STILL get butterflies. I understand that you don't want to hurt her, but don't you think you deserve the whole package? And if you truly don't feel that way about her, she deserves it "all" too. Chance are, she has NO idea that you even feel this way.
But what I don't get is how is the sex good but there's not "spark?" How can you not be physically attracted to her, but the sex is good? I don't get that part...
2006-11-06 11:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay with her for a while and then if it gets better. If there is still no spark then i would search in hopes for better.
2006-11-06 11:58:49 · answer #5 · answered by blondie2_94 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say stick with it and see if you can fall in love with her .... but do w/e u feel is right .. I'm not in your place and don't no exactly how you feel but from what you said I would just say to give he another try ... Good Luck!! <333
2006-11-06 11:56:39 · answer #6 · answered by Bekah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. You deserve to be happy and so does she. You need to walk away.
2006-11-06 11:55:33 · answer #7 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do her a favor and tell her what you just told us all.
2006-11-06 11:57:30 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥♥GODDESS♥♥♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋