Kids don't take care of their things?

Question

I have a 7-yr old and a 4-yr old who don't take care of their things! I know that's maybe a lot to expect out of the 4 year old, however, putting things away when you are finished with them isn't a lot to ask. I have cleaned their room and organized it many many times. I have thrown things away, I have purchased totes and labeled them, I have tried many many things to help them keep their things nice. However, there is stuff everywhere!! I can't control it! They seriously don't own all the parts and pieces to one toy because things are lost the moment they go upstairs. I asked my oldest when the last time she saw all the parts to her Barbie house and she said when it was in the box! how sad is that? Ok so everyone probably thinks I am a mean tyrant, however I think that being thankful and taking good care of ones things is a good lesson to learn. Any suggestions on how else I can do this??
I have taken away their radio now until their room is clean. I dont know what else to do

OMG! Now I just found out that while "cleaning" my 4 year old was coloring on the wall!!!!!! ***screams internally!!!*** So now I have 2 problems. I took away her Ariel doll, which is her favorite. Until she can do something for me to make up for the coloring. Thank God for magic eraser!!! I think I am going to try out the "consequence rag" my friend had a rag that she made her kids clean squares of tile everytime they were naughty. After cleaning the whole kitchen (squares were added for each offense) the kids learned not to do things like that. I am going to try it.

Answer 1

Stop buying so much stuff for them. When they get something new, they have to give away something old. Make them chose the item to give away, make them put it a bag, take them to a donation center and make them give it away. This will stick in their little brains. Giving to those who have nothing is another good lesson for them to learn.

Answer 2

You can try limiting what toys are available and rotating them from time to time - the fewer toys the less stuff laying underfoot. If they get a lot of toys for birthday or Christmas, put some of them away before the box gets opened. Make these a reward for good housekeeping or a Valentine's Day/St. Patrick's Day/Easter/April Fool's Day/May Day finding. Offer more toys available when the place is kept clean for a set amount of time.

Try to make a game of picking up the toys with your kids - by color, by size, by any category you can think of.
You can set aside a period of time each day for picking up - like right before the bedtime snack or evening bath and be consistant - you'll help your kids start a good habit for life. (The sooner the cleanup is done the tastier the snack and if it takes too long - a smaller snack, no bedtime story, less playtime & earlier clean-up starts the following night)
You can give them a time limit for pick-up and let them know the consequences are the lack of the toys left out (make it for a finite number of days). Also, let them know that broken toys go in the trash. Then follow through!!

Best of luck!!

Answer 3

I don't think you're being a mean tyrant at all, in fact I think you're being a little soft on your kids. :P If you've cleaned their room and organized it for them so many times, well they have no incentive to ever keep things nice and neat. It's something you don't really learn to appreciate until you're older. They won't place any importance to personally having to take care of this issue until you take a firmer stance with them, or until they are personally affected by it. It may seem sad to you that your daughter doesn't have all the parts to her Barbie house but if she doesn't care then she probably will not take the effort to keep it all together. Putting things away isn't a lot to ask, but doing it for them all the time sends the wrong message.

De-cluttering can help a lot. Children don't need access to all their toys all the time. It can make cleaning up a daunting task. You can allow them access to whatever is in one tote at a time. They can't play with what's in another box until they clean up from the first one.

As for what else you can do...well, here are some links I've found. I hope they help.

http://library.adoption.com/Teaching-and-Training-Children/Getting-Kids-to-Put-Away-Toys/article/5886/1.html

http://www.focusonyourchild.com/learning/art1/A0000043.html

http://www.homemakingcottage.com/family/teachingcclean.htm

http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyBaby_Children.asp

Answer 4

Part of the hardest things in being a parent is allowing natural consequences to occur. It's your money buying these gifts and it drives you crazy that as soon as the toys are out of the box, the parts disappear, or the thing breaks before the end of the week.
"I feel your pain."
My son has had many toys broken (that I have subsequently fixed several times) and he was getting the nick-name "Sid" for the way he treated his toys. We finally decided 1) We aren't going to buy him toys so often, and 2) the ones he still has need to be put away in bins we specifically built to contain them. The silver lining in this whole scenario, is that he gets attached to a few toys for a long while and these can be leveraged to get him to behave (put away his toys, for example, or those favorites will be unavailable for awhile). I'm sure it's difficult to maintain your composure in some instances, but if you step back a bit, you will realize you really have a lot more power than you perhaps feel. When you have the leverage you need to affect behavior changes, you will find you don't need to yell so much, nor feel that you are a tyrant. Best Wishes~

Answer 5

Having less stuff would help. I know kids get a great deal of gifts and things from friends and family but you need to make a statement that only at b-day and Christmas are gifts okay.
Put some of the gifts away until they tire of the ones they are playing with. Bring out the newer ones and put the older ones away and so it goes.
Having too much is a problem as they too get frustrated at not having all the parts because they are all mixed together.
When the time to clean up comes then you have to say that if it is left out or broken it goes in the trash right then.
What a mess to try and straighten out if there are too many things to work around.

Answer 6

I know how you feel my kids are just like that.
everytime its cleanup time they are sooo tired.
All i want is that they appreciate the things they have and take care of the things they have.
I did try a trick i heard of and it seems to work when it goes really bad i give them 10 minutes to put everything away ,after 10 minutes everything i find on the floor will go in a trashbag and go to kids that appreciate it,never once i even had to get a trashbag out of the box i never saw them running that fast to put toys in the toy box.
i also just bought 3 big plastic containers its easier for them to clean up.

Answer 7

lol i have the same problems my 7 and 4 year old do the same thing they don't appreciate toys,clothes, or a clean house.if i take away toys or games they could care less they just find something else to get into , or destroy .now, i don't feel like i am the only parent with this issue .not to mention i have a 2 year old who is upholding the words terrible two good luck,and when you get the answer email me PPLLEEAASSEE lady97bird@yahoo
thanks in advance

Answer 8

We have a 7 year old and a 5 year old and the same problem. We resorted to putting a bunch of their stuff away. They get the opportunity to exchange them every once in a while. Their rooms are cleaner and they can find most of the parts and pieces to things now.

Answer 9

Take away the toys if you see them out on the floor. Period. Don't listen to their whining or crying about how unfair it is. If they want things, they have to respect them. Do a random search of the rooms before they go to sleep or in the morning or something. Anything not put where it belongs goes into your room and locked up until they learn to respect their things. And oh ya.....DON'T CLEAN FOR THEM. make them clean up or ground them.

Answer 10

LOL, when you find out a good answer for this let me know. We have the same issue here. Generally what we do is basically give them a chance to pick things up like toys for instance. If they don't pick them up we then pick them up and put them in a special place so they can't get to them. They usually go looking for them or wanting to play with them and we ask them why they didn't pick it up etc.. We also explaint to them if they would put stuff away they would know where it is at.