Why do women(not me) always get mad at the other woman when their man cheats?

Question

I just don't get that. The person that you should be angry with is the man. He's suppose to be with you and he made the choice to cheat. I've been in a situation where I didn't know that the guy was married but I got a call one day from this guy's wife. I told her the truth...we went out on one date and I didn't sleep with him. I didn't even kiss him but she was still mad at me. I told her that she needs to go talk to her husband. Anyone can answer the question but I really want to hear from the women that always gets mad at the other woman but not the husband or boyfriend.

Answer 1

I think they get mad at the woman because they need someone to blame. They love their husband/boyfriend, and just can't bring themselves to be furious at him. A lot of times they will also blame themselves instead of the man, it's crazy!

Answer 2

If you know that a guy is married and you agree to be a part of "dating" that man in a situation where he would NOT tell his wife, then you are complying with adultery. You have the strength to say NO and if I were the wife I would be angry too. She sees you as a threat to her home, her family, and even her economic well being. She does not know whether you are special in some way, or whether her husband/boyfriend would have wandered regardless. She sees you as a temptress, and a threat.

Plus you are the first one she contacted to confirm the situation. How do you know that the wife isn't just as angry with her spouse?

The ONLY time a woman should be out with a man who is married or committed is when both of them can report the event to the spouse. A work situation, charity, old school chums all fall into this category but only if he (or she) can say "I had lunch with XXX today."

Answer 3

Here's why—

Some women are just downright disgusting. My father cheated on my mother with a woman who knew from the get-go that he was married. She didn't care about the fact that he was married nor did she care about the fact that he had three daughters. Her selfish behind only cared about herself and her future. She had plans to sabatoge my parents marriage so he'd marry her. Well, she got half of her wish. She actually stopped taking birth control and got pregnant with a baby. She did ruin our lives. A baby is always a blessing but this wouldn't have happened if she would have respected his wife, my mother. I understand, a cheater will cheat no matter what. But, it could have been quite possible that if this woman would have denied him for being married (instead, she was actually the one that made the hints, gestures, and finally first move) that he wouldn't have tried anything with anyone else.
Because of this little mistress, I have a very horrible trust for men in general. I've been very hurt in the past. And, it takes two to tango... If a woman doesn't know that the man is married, then she doesn't know much about his environment. Think about it... if she knew where he worked and knew some his friends, she'd know off the bat he was married. It's quite possible that these women get involved with men without knowing much about them or paying the least bit of attention.
So, I blame both!

Answer 4

For some reason most women get mad at the other woman because she feels it's the other woman who has lured or enticed her husband away (remember, it takes 2). The same thing happens when the woman cheats - the husband goes after the other man. Don't know who made the rules up this way - but it always seems to happen this way.

Answer 5

I'm the same as you honey - whether the other woman in question was aware of the relationship or not, it is the person you are with that has the casting vote - he's the one with the reason not to cheat - the one that should know not to do it - and if he does, then it should be his balls in a blender.

The female in question has no reason to say no, certainly has no loyalty to you to stop herself from having a little fun and 9 times out of 10 who she is and what she is is a complete irrelevancy.

Always get angry at the man. Getting angry at the woman aswell wastes energy that you should be using to make your man grovel!

Take Care

Lx

Answer 6

If the wife is focused on the husband's being responsible for the choice he made to cheat, that means she now has to make the decision regarding how she will deal with her errant husband. she has several options none of which are easy.
1. She can divorce her husband.
2. she can demand an apology and a promise from her
husband (Will she really believe he is sincere in his
apology and can he keep his promise?)
3. She can pay him back by cheating on him.
4. She can act as though nothing happened (I think that is
called the ostrich response, "Bury your head in the
sand"; figuratively speaking.
5. In the Catholic way of dealing with the committing of a
breach of promise of your marriage vows. You confess;
promise to not sin again, and you do penance. I think
we can refer to it as "consequences".



6. He should expect his wife to take whatever time she
needs to heal her wounds; he can not decide when
she should "get over it"
7. He can not expect her to trust him until she is
convinced that he merits her trust.
As evidenced by the actions she has to consider and other points such as; are there children in this marriage, how many years have they been married, and so many other factors to think aabout; I think you might agree that blaming the other woman is the easiest way to handle this situation.
Another point to consider is perhaps the betrayal of the trust
by the other woman. The common bond of "sisterhood"?

Answer 7

I personally have been cheated on before and I sure got mad at my ex but not at the girl. She did not know he was in a relationship. Now if it is a girl that the couple knows and she does this anyway then you have all right in my opinion at being mad at both. In your situation though and others like it I think women blame the other woman because they make them selves think if this girl would not have seduced him or what ever then he would have never cheated and that excuse my friend is well cant exactly put what i think of that excuse!

Answer 8

A woman who sleeps with a married man is like a thief who is in cohoots with the husband. She is stealing the husbands affection from the wife.

If you owned your house and then you married and you husband moved in, You would say what's yours is his (i think), But say later you found he was taking things from the house and giving them to a friend without telling you. If his friend knew what your hubby was doing you would be angry at the friend as well as your husband.

Not a perfect analogy but I think it gets my point across. I've never met a woman whose husband cheated who didn't get angry at the husband. The reaction was delayed sometimes but eventually the anger and hurt came out.

Answer 9

I agree with you. If the man told you that he was single, etc., then how would you know otherwise? The woman who get cheated on need to address it with their husbands, not the women. Of course, if the woman knew, then the wife has just cause for getting angry with her too, but hubby should still take the brunt of it.

Answer 10

We get mad with the other woman because it hurts when you are betrayed. Most women are in disbelief at the man. The other woman is included because she was in the situation WITH the man. In your case you didn't know, so that is different. But when the other woman knows about the marriage, she is really wrong for messing with someone else's man. Any relationship is hard work, and when you really love someone and find out that they have been with another woman, and the wifey hasn't cheated at all, she feels hurt and betrayed, and that is a bad, bad feeling.

Answer 11

I've been in a similar situation and what I found out is that the women are intimidated by the woman their boyfriend/husband has cheated on them with.