I'm old school...the son of an Army Drill Sergeant...is spanking a good form of discipline nowadays?

Question

It worked on me and I'm now 36 years old and still love, honor, and respect my dad and other elders...i say spank 'em!!!

Answer 1

Old school, Dad's school: I was and am still around and able to sit on that same rear end. Sometimes, it's the only choice and gets attention. New rules, time outs don't work. We ran, played tag, played cops and robbers, watched Tom and Jerry and are still around. Some rules, just don't need to be changed.

Answer 2

Spanking as a form of punishment can be effective but only if done correctly. Too many times I've seen parents whack their child in public, or threaten to spank them (and then never carry through!) Spankings should be like any punishment, to punish, not to threaten. The child should learn frm his mistakes and be afraid to make mistakes not be afraid of the spanking. It's a fine line to be sure, but the old addage "let the punishment fit the crime" must be considered here.

Spanking shoudl be among the last resort punishments. After time outs, loss of priviledges, and other forms of punishment, when the child has repeatedly disobeyed, or misbehaved and been given the instrucitons on how to correct their behaviour and NOT done so, then the spanking should be in line.

How to spank is also a problem among parents today. I've seen parents haul their kid up by one arm while in the mall, and begin spanking their child hard and fast. The child becomes afraid of the parent, and learns nothing.

Spanking should follow a few rules.
(These are how I did it and it seemed to work well)
1) Reprimand in public, spank in private.
2) The spanking should be done with BOTH parents available (if possible)
3) I sit and discuss the problems with the child and explain what brought on the spanking.
4) A certain number of swats is determined
(usually between 3 and 7, never more than 10)
5) I have the child bend over and hold a chair or lean on a table and he/she must count out the swats.
6) I use my hand when possible, because I want to know how hard I'm spanking. A good parent can feel the difference between good and bad spanking in this manner. After all, the swats are not to hurt the child though they must be enough to bring on the idea of the punishment.
7) When its done, it's done. NO more discussion of the problem, the punishment or the mistakes other than to assure that it will not happen again.
8) I hug the child and we both usually cry. It's important to point out that you do love the child and that the spanking was a last resort, not becuase the child was bad, but because their bahavior was bad.

When done in this fashion, the child learns that the spanking has a place, they learn that spanking is there as a formal type of corporal punishment. It also gives the parent time to calm down ahead of time, and assess the actual need for a spanking, discuss the discipline problem with the other parent where available and choose the number of swats.

Yes, spanking has a place, but it has to be done right.

Answer 3

There are other forms that work in some circumstances such as time out. But I'm older than you and only spanked once that I remember as a child. Yes, there are times it is necessary to use spanking (within reason) as a form on discipline. I have to children 14 & 12 and there were times that it was necessary. As teens, they know I will not take any disrespect from then and I mean what I say.

Answer 4

Spanking works extremely well to stop bad behavior short term. If you want to raise a child who will still be good when the threat of punishment is not there, raise a child who was put in time out when he/she did something wrong and had the wrong explained to him/her. If the wrong continues you take away privileges, just like in real life. In the real world if we don't follow rules we get things removed from us. LONG TERM discipline, means NO violence. You've turned out fine, because you're a good person and your parents were good to you in other aspects of life. I promise you would have been just as good a person if you weren't spanked and just shown right from wrong. The difference is that in new and uncertain situations you would have been a more confident person. Fear based discipline is far inferior to thought and "non-violent consequent" discipline. You won't always be there to spank them. They need to WANT to do the right thing.

Answer 5

Spanking has a definite purpose and place. Some people don't know the difference between a spanking and a beating though. Spanking is good, beating is not.

Answer 6

You will get a lot of conflicting answers on this one. Now a days, spanking is frowned upon as people seem to think of it as abuse. However, I think there is a time and place for spanking. I use it as a last resort and if my son is endangering himself or others (ex. running in a parking lot). I was spanked as well as a child but I was spanked for everything. I was spanked for talking back or just disagreeing with my father. It made me fear him more than I loved him. I don't agree with spanking for everything.

Answer 7

I'm 19 years old, a little younger, so take this from my point of view! spanking is good until a certain age, when your child starts back talking you! then its time to start grounding! at that point your child learns more from their mistakes than just by spanking them!

Answer 8

Wrong. It gives the child a sense of negative reinforcement, meaning when the child messes up you are the bad guy. Instead you should try putting the child in time out, with a kitchen or clock very visible. By doing this you are taking away the childs time, and making "time" the childs enemy, and not the parent.

Answer 9

my husband and i both were raised old school and we are in our mid 20's with 3 children and even as younger parents we use old school as discipline there is a way to spank them and it not be abuse.my mom would say i whip you cause i love you and i understand it better now then i did back then and i appreciate those old fashioned a** whippings. it made me who i am today.

Answer 10

spanking is okay. as long as u dont take it too far.. the laws n stuff nowadays are different then they use to be.. jus be careful and dont take it over board.. but yeah i believe spanking works and is very effective but jus dont go too far..