OK, she was raped a month or 2 ago, they got the guy that did it and everything, but thing is, shes shutting me out altogether. She hardly talks to me anymore, and I just dunno what to do,Defo dont want to lose her, but Im afraid shes either trying to break off with me, or its still hitting her hard. Any ideas on what to do?
2006-11-06 03:23:12 · 21 answers · asked by Justin C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She may need to speak with a counselor. Sounds like she is having a hard time dealing with her feelings. All you can do is be there for her when she needs you. Good luck!
2006-11-06 03:25:15 · answer #1 · answered by purple rain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest she go to therapy.
Yeah, she's shutting you out. She was violated, she might not realize what's going on in her head, but just ebcause the guy was CAUGHT does not mean she has had closure. She will be uncomfortable with physical contact for a while - which is why she is shutting you out. You are a man. A man did a horrible thing to her.
She really needs to consider therapy. There is NOTHING you can do but be supportive,. listen to her and GIVE HER SPACE AND TIME. You have no idea what she is going through right now, so don't even try to pretend that you do, or think you know what she needs.
2006-11-06 03:29:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ofcourse she is not the same. If you love her stay by her side and dont pressure her for sex. Its not unusual for her to shut you out if she needs to be alone leave her alone but, dont give her grief about her not wanting you, she already has had enough of that. Be a friend to her and forget about romance for a while. Try to convince her to talk with a rape counselor or go to a support group with other women who have been violated in this way. Just put yourself in her shoes and think how would you feel??
2006-11-06 03:47:48 · answer #3 · answered by Binky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd recommend bringing her flowers randomly, or take her to an section it really is genuinely new, like an unique eating position or a swing dancing club. See if there are any stay shows you 2 wish. attempt to blend it up a touch and performance diverse interesting. Do something spontaneous for her! in case you dont want to spend money, make her something from stuff at abode! you are able to make a dinner, something to influence her! I desire you the finest of luck with this relationship!
2016-11-28 20:20:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was in her situation...I will be hell scared.
I will be scared to be touched by anyone.
But at the same time, I will want a hand from someone who loves me. And would need to really know, that he really loves me because he cares, not because he wants to get laid.
You must talk to her, even though she don't want you near.
She might say "just go away", but tell her that he's not going to give up on you. Say that you'll be always in her side, and will be waiting every minutes for her to open up to you. Don't give up trying, don't try to sleep with her, just let her know that you care alot. Try taking her for a walk to a park, a zoo, somewhere she could enjoy slow time with you, and somewhere in public.
She must never feel scared being with you. Go to her place, talk to her parents if she's living with them. Tell them, and let her know, that you are her familly, and she's still you lovely gem as she was before the insident happened...
I really wish huge luck for you two.
2006-11-06 03:31:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry to hear that. She may need to see a therapist. You may even need to go with her at times. That would benefit her and your relationship. It would help you understand how she is feeling and how to deal with the situation.
Communication...talk to her. Ask her how she is feeling. What she needs. Be supportive and understanding. Let her know you're there for her when you need her. Don't let her walk out to her car at night by herself. Make sure she has a cell phone on her so she can call anytime for help when she needs it. Don't let her stay home by herself unless she feels comfortable doing so. Don't jump out and scare her for fun, and don't touch her any where unless she feels comfortable. Don't press sex right now. If you love her, you'll understand.
Buy her flowers, take her out to eat, take her to see a funny movie. Give her lots of hugs. Just be there for her and let her talk to you when she needs someone. It's going to take sometime for her to get over this, or she may never get over this. It depends. Everyone reacts differently to this kind of thing. Be patient. I hope this helped. Good luck...
P.S. Another thing I just thought of....maybe she THINKS you don't want her anymore because of what happened to her...she feels guilty, ashamed, and dirty. Make sure you let her know it wasn't her fault and that you love her regardless of what happened. Take care.
2006-11-06 03:39:36 · answer #6 · answered by Jenna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very normal reaction to a horrible crime. She should see a therapist. In the beginning she should alone. After a while ask her if you can join in as you are also suffering from the incident.
If you truly love her, hang in there. Let her know you're supporting her and do not force her to do anything she doesn't want to.
God bless.
2006-11-06 03:26:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just finished a research paper on abuse and with victims they want to push people away and they have a lot of mental issues they are sorting through. they question whether they did something to deserve it, if they could have prevented it, if they provoked it. it's not easy to adjust to being a victim, it's only been a short period of time and she doesn't want to be physically close to anyone. it isn't anything you have done, stay confident that the girl you fell in love with is still in there and just needs to be saved by her prince. help her regain confidence and security in men by leaving her daisies and peace roses to find and little notes that say i love you.
2006-11-06 03:31:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be easier for her to come out of this with professional help. For now you should be patient with her and not try to push her into a sexual situation. You must be sure that you do nothing to make her believe you think any less of her for what has happened.
2006-11-06 03:29:15 · answer #9 · answered by dano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she may still be in shock from it, but its still on her mind a lot. give her time, dont push her, dont be overly affectionate. hang out and be just friends with her right now. dont try to be her bf even tho you are. it sometimes takes months and sometimes years to get over things like that. give her time and support her 100% thats all you can do
2006-11-06 03:26:22 · answer #10 · answered by .......... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋