Should I ask my fiance what he ment?
I am engaged to the most loving,kind, handsome & affectionate guy. He helps my mother & I alot in many ways. Although he is in his late 30's he lives with his parents. No he is not a bum. He has a good job & helps his parents alot too. But sometimes I think he over does it. My fiance does not want anyone planning our wedding exept for the two of us. But he has no problem asking his parents ideas on planning our wedding but does not like my mothers involvment. Yesterday when my mom offered him some of her kitchenware for us he said he has his own. And he said the things he needs he will get them from his parents & buy them new ones. That does not make any sense to me on why he should buy them new stuff and we use their old stuff. Should I ask him what he ment or forget about it? He bought them a brand new car right before he proposed to me but they already had a car. Is he trying to buy their love? He has joint back account with them too. Is he saying sorry to them for marrying me?
2006-11-06 03:09:35 · 8 answers · asked by cluelesschickus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would definately talk to him about this. Just the two of you. Bring your concerns to light, this is YOUR wedding too and if this is the guy you are going to spend the rest of your life with you should be able to talk openly with him about anything. As far as him not wanting your mom's involvement, I do not think that is fair to you or your mom. Planning a wedding should be fun and I am sure she would like to help you out and spend time with you shopping for a dress or shoes etc... A wedding is great mother-daughter bonding time. He sounds like a very caring guy who likes to help others but he needs to realize YOU are the BRIDE! This is your one big day, the day where you are the center of attention, and you would like your moms help and support. The best advice I could give you is TALK to him. He needs to know how you are feeling. If you pretend it doesn't bother you, he THINKS it doesn't bother you. Don't be afraid to speak up.
2006-11-06 03:20:19 · answer #1 · answered by hoppinalongthelilypads 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You more effective perfect step outdoors of this container and take a tougher seem. What I see on your description is someone who has subject matters with administration, and someone who's cart remains being pushed by technique of his father and mom. in case you imagine wedding ceremony planning "oddities" are all you're going to confirm, imagine back. it would want to benefit you to finish a touch premarital counseling and locate out what's quite occurring. Loving, form, handsome, affectionate....they arrive in all sizes and applications sweetie, does not recommend there are not issues under the layers that you'll experience sorry about getting twisted with earlier to later. good luck.
2016-11-28 20:19:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just too involved with his parents. Nothing wrong with a normal relationship, but it sounds like he is too tied to them.
Normally, parents teach their children to be self-sufficient, go out and meet a woman, get married and have children. It sound like he isn't ready to do this.
It's OK to interact with ones parents, but he also has to be fair and do the same with your parent(s). It cannot be one-sided, as it sounds. If he continues to "poo-poo" your side on issues that he allows his family to be involved in, it will slowly lead to animosity over time.
You have to address his actions how you see it. He has blinder's on. Address the actions, not you assumptions to what he is thinking, especially the idea of him saying he is sorry to them for marrying you. I wouldn't bring this up.
2006-11-06 03:23:38 · answer #3 · answered by Joe S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rethink this proposal. It sounds like his parents are running his life and butting in everything he does. I would think twice. My son's paternal grandmother does the same thing with his dad but acts like my son isn't her grandchild. We went to visit at his dad's house for the weekend and everyone has seen my son but her, meaning his sisters and all
2006-11-06 03:16:40 · answer #4 · answered by tantalizin1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run now why you can!!! You are going to marry him why???? Not a good idea... push the wedding back until you get this sorted..... the in laws will make your life a living hell.....be careful.
2006-11-06 03:13:11 · answer #5 · answered by Lynne B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a saying that goes this way... When you marry the person you love, you also marry the whole family..l. If you love your husband, you have to love and respect his parents and siblings too...The way I read yout story...Its only you he wants from your family...He don't care about your kin....Are you not killed emotionally by your fiancee...Its hurting to think your husband to be take for granted or forget everything about your family.. Its up for you to decide...Think it all over again....
2006-11-06 03:21:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
oh wow. i wonder if you are on to something. maybe he feels disloyal to his parents by including yours. holy mackerel. if that is the case he needs to get over it. and yes, you should talk to him about it. he is not the only one in the world w/parents who have feelings. yours do too! good luck to you all :)
2006-11-06 03:15:09 · answer #7 · answered by AlwaysWondering 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him directly all your questions.
2006-11-06 03:13:03 · answer #8 · answered by blue violet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋