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I lost my dad over a year ago now in September 2005. I do find it easier to get on with everyday life but some days are still hard.
I did have to deal with everything at once soon afterwards though, you know: my first birthday without him in the October, then my mams birthday in November, then Christmas, then his brithday which is few days after Christmas. then before you know it, it's new years and fathers day, then the dates com round all over again. It hasn't been long since the one year anniversary of his death and found that hard. I also had my 23rd birthday whcih I found hard. I do get on with my life and i like my life, friends and family.. but sometimes feel bad after having alot of fun thinking 'is this too much fun?' and 'is it disrespectful?'
I'm not somone who likes to steal to be centre of attention but sometimes feel I am when people talk to me about it. Should I still be feeling like this or should I be feeling bad that it's stilll an issue in my life?

2006-11-06 03:02:39 · 34 answers · asked by *BURNY* 5 in Family & Relationships Family

34 answers

My Dad

My dearest dad 'I love you',
I think of you each day.
I feel your arms around me,
that's how I get through my days.

Your looking down upon me,
to guide me on my way,
but its very hard without you,
each and every single day.

People always tell me,
the grieving will subside.
But how can I feel better,
without you by my side.

No matter how hard they try,
there is always so much pain,
I am all consumed by thinking,
It will never, be the same.

I know one day we'll meet,
in the Heavens up above.
It's the only thing that helps me,
to never forget, your love.

My dearest Dad, I love you,
Your with me every day.
I will keep this love within me,
forever, until that beautiful day.

By: Kenny P. aka- Cobra

2006-11-06 03:26:28 · answer #1 · answered by Cobra 5 · 2 0

I feel as if I have written that myself,as I am in the exactely the same situation. I lost my dad the end of August, and my mum 6 years ago. Sometimes I even forget, and then suddenly think "Oh my god, Im never going to see them again." As you say you feel bad after having fun, I do also, but what you have to remember, you are not forgetting your dad, things are slowly just getting easier. Even now, when I go out with my friends, after one to many, I end up in tears. As you said, talking to people about makes you feel like the centre of attention, but losing a parent is an awful thing and even some people in thier 50's and 60's haven't yet been through that. People should understand if your upset, even now, and it will be an issue in your life for a very long time. People will admire you for talking about it. I hope this helps.xxxx

2006-11-06 04:53:42 · answer #2 · answered by wallbanger 1 · 0 0

I'm really sorry about your dad, and even though you say its been a year you shouldn't feel bad for still grieving. People deal with things differently, some may get over this within a few months, others it could take years. He was obviously close to you and this has hit you hard. But don't try and suppress your grief, if you still feel like crying then do it. Have you tried speaking to anyone professional about it?
Don't feel guilty about having fun, I'm sure your dad wouldn't want you to put your life on hold, and I'm sure he would want you to enjoy yourself. Try and talk to a counsellor or go to your doctors if you think this is taking over your life. Ive lost many members of my family, one being my 15 year old cousin and I still sit and miss her sometimes and that was 9 years ago!
I hope you feel better (I know this isn't something that can be fixed immediately) but keep your chin up. Take care xx

2006-11-06 03:10:22 · answer #3 · answered by Lottie 2 · 0 0

I'm really sorry to hear of your loss. Don't feel bad for grieving - it's only natural and you do seem to be getting on with your life, dispite the constant reminders of your loss. Don't feel bad about having fun either - your Dad wouldn't want that. I'm sure he would want you to be happy. I'm told that it's natural for the grieving process to take at least two years so you are perfectly normal.

I still have sad moments when I remember my parents. Mum died 20 years ago when I was 23 and Dad 7 years later If you feel like having a cry go ahead. As time goes on the pain will get less and less until all you have left are happy memories and a warm glow when you think of him.

I wish you well, God bless xxx

2006-11-06 03:11:05 · answer #4 · answered by nettyone2003 6 · 0 0

You must not feel bad for this. I lost my Mum five years ago and not a day goes by when I don't think of her. I also went through the guilt thing during the first couple of years. Everytime I did anything moderately fun I thought it was wrong, but then I thought about what my Mum would of wanted and realised that she would hate for me to be unhappy. As for anniversaries they are a complete normal reaction to the grieving process. If that person was still alive you would be spending it with them so to be thinking about them and finding the day difficult is completely normal. I don't really think you ever totally get over losing a parent, but I think you learn, with time, to deal with the loss which ultimately allows you to move forward without them. You are doing OK honey, it is still early days and it sounds to me like you are coping better than you think. I wish you all the bestxxx

2006-11-06 03:19:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

There are no rules for grieving. You feel what you feel. I lost my Mom over 10 years ago and there are still very few days that she does not cross my mind for some reason or another.

When it is someone that you are very close to that you lose, you never really "get over" it. To tell you the truth, I don't even know what that means. The acute pain lessens after a while but there is still that hole where that person used to be in your heart. Nothing fills it.

I understand your comment about being the center of attention at times. People naturally want to try to ease your pain and you want them to. The problem is that it only helps for a short period of time.

Hang in there! Take small steps. Give yourself the right to feel whatever you need to. Reach out to someone. Even though I know I could never be half as good a person as my Mom was, I have determined to be as important to someone else as my Mom was to me. She really was the best.

Good luck to you!

2006-11-06 03:16:15 · answer #6 · answered by jomama 2 · 1 0

My mum died on 1st Dec 8 years ago and I still have days were I need to talk about it or just want to sit on my own and have a little cry. It does get easier with each year but you never forget and you will always feel some grief, that's part of what makes us human. Never feel guilty for leaning on a friend when you feel like this as i'm sure you'd be happy to do the same if it was the other way round. Why don't you chat to your friends about your guilt, i'm sure they'll tell you the same.

2006-11-06 03:44:29 · answer #7 · answered by Haribo 3 · 1 0

Your grief, including the guilt, is normal. Experts state that the grieving process takes anywhere from 12 to 24 months. That is the period of time when the grief is most intense. Both of my parents died 29 years ago and there isn't a single day that goes by that I don't think about them and, at times, tear up. I promise, the pain eases as time goes by but the memories stay sweet forever.

If your church or community center offers a grief support group, you may find it helpful to talk with others going through the grief process.

Cobra: Beautiful poem! Thank-you!

2006-11-06 03:38:39 · answer #8 · answered by silver2sea 4 · 1 0

I lost my Father August 7, 2003. There are times when I'm overwhelmed by a terrible sadness. I miss him horribly. You definitely should not feel bad for grieving. It's all part of the process. You feel what you feel. Let it come, work through it, but don't wallow in it. Your Father wouldn't want you to do that, but to live your life and enjoy it. The times of sadness become less frequent as the years go by. You're doing fine.

2006-11-06 03:06:21 · answer #9 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 1 0

You should never feel bad for grieving, and if someone makes you feel that way then they aren't real friends. I think your father would feel better knowing that your going on with your life and having some fun I sure that he wouldn't want you to just sit there and be depressed all the time. Your father is looking down on you smiling so go and enjoy yourself.

2006-11-06 03:33:38 · answer #10 · answered by This is just my opinion! 4 · 0 0

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