Im 17 and i have a baby,my parents dont let me take care of my baby my way.I NEED HELP PLEASE READ!?

Question

HI IM 17 AND I HAVE A BABY GIRL.I HAVE NO RIGHTS WITH MY BABY,MY MOTHER DONT LET ME TAKE HER OUT,DONT LET ME TAKE HER TO MY BOYF HOUSE FOR HE AND HIS PARENTS CAN SPEND TIME WITH HER.THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY BECAUSE ITS LIKE I CARRIED THIS BABY FOR 9 MONTHS AND HAD HER FOR MY PARENTS.BUT NO SHES MY BABY AND WHAT I SAY GOES.LAST NIGHT THE BABY WAS CRYING FOR 2 SECONDS AND MY SISTER PICKED HER UP AND I TOLD HER TO PUT MY BABY DOWN AND SHE SAID THAT SHE CAN GRAB THE BABY WHEN SHE WANTS THAT SHE DONT CARE SHES MY BABY CAUSE I DONT HAVE RIGHTS CAUSE IM UNDER MY PARENTS ROOF.THEN SHE SAID THAT SHE WISHES THEY CALL CHILD SERVICES ON ME FOR THEY CAN TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME.SHE DIDNT EVEN WANTED MY BABY IN THIS WORLD SHE WANTED ME TO HAVE A MISSCARAGE.BUT I REALLY NEED HELP! I FEEL LIKE PACKING MY THING AND LEAVING AND NEVER LOOK BACK!

CAN MY PARENTS TELL ME WHAT TO DO?

CAN THEY PREVENT ME FROM TAKING HER TO HER FATHER HOUSE?

DO I HAVE ANY RIGHT AT ALL?

IM STILL WITH MY BABY'S FATHER,MY MOM DOESNT LET HIM SEE HER.AND HE DOES HAVE A JOB.

Answer 1

You and your boyfriend need to get a place together and get on with your life. thats what my older sister did. she got pregnant when she was 17.. and my mom and dad tryed telling her what to do. .and one time my mom was acting like it was her kid. she kept going to her.. and my sister felt like she wasnt the mother. so her and her boyfriend. gave up any dreams of themselves. and shared a life together and now have 5 kids and have their own buisness 10 yrs later but..moved out of the home when she was 17. she couldnt take it anymore. Your parents cant tell you what to do in this situation. They cannot prevent you from taking your baby to fathers place. and yes you have rights.. its your baby.., get out of there.. if you stay.. youll only loose your daughter. and next you know. the babygirl will soon be calling her mom instead of grandma.. its sad. but it happens. I really hope you do the right thing.. and Give your little girl.. the best of life..and you should pack your things and leave and never look back.. because thats not what family is. you need to be happy and still be able to take care of your little girl. and its important to have the father in her life. because them if you two get a place together.. One of you can work, and other can take care of the baby and if you want to work.. then you guys can do part time. anyway it dont matter how you plan to make things work. You need to get out of there. anybody can do it.. its just building the courage to walk away.

Good luck.. I really hope all comes together for you.

Answer 2

Well I understand what you are going though my sis had a baby at 17 too! They can't tell you what to do but they should try and help you be a good mom. The father has every right to see his child an if they don't want you to tke the baby there then what i think you should do is move out if that is your last option. You have every right you are the mother of your child not your parents you should be able to tell your sister that she has to put the baby down. And the only way that dcfs can take your child away from you is if you are a bad mother or abuse her.

Answer 3

Yes you have all the rights as long as you’re not on drugs, hangin out in the streets, as long as you’re not abusing your child or putting her in harms way or hanging out with people who would harm her, people who are worthless. Your young, and your parents have been through a lot when it comes to raising kids, your decisions may not always be healthy ones and when you have a baby your priority should not be, everyone look at my cute baby, they should be providing food, clothes, health, love and the list goes on. Obviously your parents don't trust you or the baby’s father, but the reason you’re trippin is because you feel like having a baby makes you an adult. It doesn't. Raising your child and giving her the best life she deserves makes you a good mother, life experiences allow you to mature into an adult and the best interest of your daughter should be all that you care about. Do you think that if you took your daughter today she would be better off? Or should you better yourself by getting a degree or a trade that can help you support her for the future make more sense. See this isn't about you, yes your sister was wrong if she’s younger then you then obviously you get it, but if not then she might also not trust you and maybe you should look at the situation outside the box. Your daughter didn't ask to be placed in this world but now that she is, nothing else should matter. This is about her! She should be number one in your life and if you’re not ready for that or you can't provide that right now maybe your parents are doing all this to protect her. And you shouldn't be mad about that. Your daughter needs all the love and attention. Go out there and make something of yourself so your daughter can look up to you and say "I want to be just like my mommy one day." It would not be healthy for you to leave and take that precious little girl with you. She doesn't deserve that. You will definitely regret it. I know this because I also have a little girl. And her having the best life possible should be your only concern. Please I’m not trying to make you upset just trying to get you to look at the bigger picture. Talk to your parents but most importantly "show them!" SHOW YOUR DAUGHTER!

Answer 4

Baby Girl, I will pray for you. The worst thing you can do is, play Power Ball with your parents. Who seem to be overly controlling. Take the time to look into your child's future, see what your focus should be. For instance 17 is young yet,still you have rights as a mother. There certain websites that can further help you,deter main exactly what your rights are in your situation. Maybe your parents see, you as a teenager with a child. Not a adult with the necessities to properly raise a child. Even so called adults, are lacking in many unseen necessities that a child would need. Your boyfriend and his parents, might need to do a Little PR charming.(In regards to your parents) Especially if there's animosity in the atmosphere. You do not want CPS(Child Punishment Services) in your child's LIFE! Trust me on that. Your hormones are raging and this a confusing time for you and your boyfriend. Step back see the Big picture and not the Small frame. Remember your child is a Blessed Gift, and has the right to a happy atmosphere. Everyone involved needs to pull together, and rally around those new parents with child and Embrace them with loving SUPPORT! Then and only Then, will a life be worth Living.

Answer 5

DO NOT LEAVE YOUR FAMILY. You need their support right now and so does your baby. It is a difficult situation and you did not explain more of the circumstances between your boyfriend's family and your own. Is he paying child support????? Is he coming to your house to help you change diapers, etc????? I think that as far as the situation with being able to take care of your baby the way you want to....you should open up communications with your parents. Let them know how you feel...,but you also need to remember that there is a lot that you have to learn about taking care of a baby that your parents have already learned. Ask your mom if she can give you advice...if she can help you help yourself learn. Trust me...this is what your mom would want....she wants you to be the mom....because you are....but she also knows that you are young and inexperienced. Good luck..and make sure that those that are there helping you are the ones that get to be the most involved in your baby's life. Just because your boyfriend is the biological dad does not mean that he has earned that right to be the daddy. But he should EARN that right....it would be the best thing for your child.... make sure that he does... But if he does not want to do the responsible things that he should, then you had better not alienate the people who are.

Answer 6

Okay, I know the kind of situation your end because the way things are going, me and my g/f are entering the same area. I feel that in a situation like this, end it before it starts. If you are living in missouri than you can legally by law leave the house and live somewhere else without parent permission. I would say that you should secure a good living condition somewhere else where a friend or b/f will let you stay for a while. After that you should state your feelings to your family and let them know how you feel. Keep your head up cause like you said, its your baby and you have the say so. (If anything, your b/f can make a complaint about not seeing his baby by saying they're kidnapping your baby. Make sure all other solutions are tried though.)

Answer 7

Unfortunately, you do have all the rights in the world. You may however want to take an English class. Judging from the essay you wrote for a question. It also sounds more like you have a problem with your sister and sibling rivalry is always going to be there. If your bf and his parents want to see her why don't they come to your house?? Yes, your parents are being a little overprotective BUT it sounds like they are trying to do what is best for the baby. MAYBE if you showed them you are responsible enough to take care of her by yourself at their house then they would feel better about letting you take her out places. Yes she is your baby, but remember YOU are also their baby and as long as you are under their roof they have every right in the world to tell you what to do. Let them take care of her and you go do things that a normal 17 yo should do-- do some growing-up yourself and let them be grandparents, obviously they do not mind. Moving out on your own would be the biggest and hardest mistake you could ever make for you and your little one, unless they are abusive parents which it does not sound like they are. Calm down and let your parents show you how to be a good parent. I know at 17 you think you know it all,,,, Well, your parents know more and they have more experience and you could learn a whole lot from them. I only wish I had that opportunity.

Answer 8

It sounds like to me that everyone needs counseling. I'm not being mean but everyone needs to sit down and talk. #1 yes you carried her for 9 months, but who was there holding your hand? Did your parents take you to the Dr? Were your parents the ones that made sure you got the things you needed while you were pregnant? Were they the ones that held your hand while you gave birth to her? Did they come and bring you home from the hospital? Did they get up with the baby and feed her in the wee hours of the morning so you could get caught up on your sleep? You really need to think this through....are they really THAT BAD? Or are they just trying their best too with the situation at hand? It's a hard life out there by yourself. You really need to talk to them, and let them help you as much as they can, it sounds like they have been there for you allot. You have to find a common ground, but PLEASE, don't use the baby as a pawn. You know you have rights, and so does the father, but Your Parents have stepped up to the plate and have been there for you. Finish School also, you really need that as well. God Bless You, and Good Luck.

Answer 9

It sounds like you're in a bad situation.

First of all, legally I'm not sure your rights as a parent and a minor. I would contact your county's Child & Family Protective Services. They may have some counseling available for young mothers.

Ethically and morally, it's your baby. You decide how to raise her. However, you are a 17 year old mother. I'm sure your parents are trying to do what's right by your child. You may need to sit down and talk to them about the rules for you and for your child.

When you are 18, if you can afford it, it may be worth moving out. Do you still have a relationship with the father? He may be able to help. However, I would make sure that you finish school first, it's important.

Also, Don't just move because you don't like your parents rules. At 18 it may be better to stay at home. Don't just think about what's most comfortable for you. Think about what's most important for your daughter.

Answer 10

As long as you live in their house, you have to go by their rules. But the baby is yours. They should respect that. Do either you or the baby's father have a job? Can you live with the baby's father and his family and y'all save up money for your own place? As long as the baby is WELL taken care of, DHR cannot take the baby away. You may, however, have to show that you have income to support the baby. WIC will help, too. Also, if your parents are paying for the diapers, food, daycare and doctor appointments, you may want to think about how you will do that yourself. They may feel if they are financially responsible for the child, then they have rights. If you want to be that baby's parent...YOU have to be 100% responsible. I worked 2 jobs for most of my daughter's baby years to make sure she didn't do without. She is now 17 and very happy, very grounded and knows what she wants with her life.

Answer 11

NO!!! They cannot tell you what to do. Honey this is your baby. You're the one stated as Mother on the birth certificate right? If so you're the one with all the rights. The state will not recognize grandparents, just the ones listed on the birth cert. Don't let your family bully you, this is YOUR baby. For the sake of your baby girl I would get your things together and get out of there. It's interesting to me that they'd tell you that you have no rights and yet threaten to call child services on you. If you supposedly had no rights they wouldn't be able to do that, they'd call on your parents. Anyways, that's besides the point. I was young when I had a baby as well. I lived with my family for a whie and things went much smoother once I moved out. They loved me, they loved my baby but it always seemed to me that to be able to act like an adult and be a mother to my child the way I felt best I had to be on my own. Get out of your parents house. Find a safe place for you and your baby and get on your own. Since you are 17 though you'll probably need to stay with another relative or a friend. I don't know of anywhere that will allow you to rent without being 18 or having parental consent. You deserve to be a mother and to take your daughter out to see whomever you want her to see. Especially her Daddy. In fact when you move have him come over and help. Having a man there to back you up will be good. Good luck!!


One more thing Miss Betty Boop. You are NOT a bad person for having had a baby young. I don't know why people think they have the right to be rude when they've never even been in your situation. You are perfectly capable of being a GREAT mother! Most people these days will wait until their late 20's and 30's to have children. But 30 yrs ago it was much different. Don't let anyone talk down to you for your decisions. A baby is not a mistake!! But a great blessing. I wish you and your daughter all the very best...