Okay, my boyfriend of 4 years got arrested two months ago for selling drugs in my house (I obviously was not aware of anything) and I've told him that I'm done with him and will never get back together with him. He's since told me that he's cheated on me like 8 times while we were together...yuck right? Anyway, I've stuck by his side to help him out with his lawyer and such because his family won't but he keeps writing me these letters and telling me how much he loves me and we are going to be together forever. Well, I've started hanging out with this guy and I REALLY like him. The draw back is he was friends with my boyfriend. Neither of us care what everyone is saying about us but what should I do? Should I stick by my ex until he goes to prison or just break it off completely right now? I am torn because I am a very compassionate person and don't want my ex to be totally alone but I also don't want him to think he has a chance with me. Please help and what do I say to the ex?
2006-11-06 02:08:20 · 14 answers · asked by gbsunshine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My ex's friend hangs with a different circle of friends and he does not use or sell drugs...I just wanted to add that. They weren't best friends or anything.
2006-11-06 08:07:25 · update #1
I understand that you're compassionate; so am I. But why are you helping him?? He's done you nothing but wrong! Let him fight his own fires! He chose to sell drugs, in YOUR house--it's a miracle that you didn't get charged as well, for being an accomplice...and then he says, "Oh by the way, I was never faithful to you in the first place..."--girl, you don't owe him ANYthing. As far as the friend is concerned, I would first make CERTAIN that he doesn't share any of those bad habits that your ex was so fond of. Like breaking the law?? (Or cheating.) If you want to be with him that's your choice, and it's true that what others say doesn't matter, but just make sure you're doing the right thing. Listen to your gut. If you feel at peace about it, then no one can tell you different. Just be wise about it...but please let your ex be--he's not a child. If you keep helping him, he WILL think he still has a chance with you, and he will keep trying until he wears you down, makes you feel all guilty and sorry for him, and then you might take him back out of pity...and then you'll be right back at square one. Break it off completely--kindly but firmly--and move on. Good luck.
2006-11-06 02:19:49 · answer #1 · answered by peachy78 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cannot see how anyone could sell drugs out of your home and you not knowing it. My ex did the same thing, but after selling for not quite a month, I found out. If you live there, then you know what's going on.
Now, on to the ex and prospective new guy. If you broke up with him but want to support him nonetheless, then tell him you are there for moral support ONLY as a friend and for him to forget about a 2nd chance to break your heart again.
For the other guy, it's well-known that you don't ever ever ever date your ex's friends, family, etc. unless you are looking for trouble from the ex.
2006-11-06 10:15:00 · answer #2 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You have quite a bit going on there don't you. The bottom line is that this other man is your ex. You have no obligation to be with him. He's told you that he's cheated on you therefore spreading the fact that he doesn't respect you. He may need someone in his life to help him out but he helped himself into his situation. You're not family and you're not his girlfriend. Drop it and if he comes back asking where you went I'd tell him you had things in your life that you needed to take care of. This man is not worth your time or your compassion. Go for the other guy but remember he is your ex's friend. You could be opening a can of worms that aren't worth the hassle.
2006-11-06 10:15:29 · answer #3 · answered by Angela G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first..., if this new guy is friends with the ex...who is a drug dealer...whats that say about the new guy? Drug user? Another dealer? I'd be very careful about that hun. As for your ex, I too am a very caring person and have gotten myself into alot of unwanted positions cause of it. My advise is be totally honest with him. Tell him you will always care about him and are willing to help him in this situation but you asre not interested in getting back together..now or ever. R you sure he will go to prison? If so then it will give him time to understznd your position. Good luck!
2006-11-06 10:15:49 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal-Ball 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You see,Love is Love,and on top of that you say that you are a compassionate person.This copmassionate character you have is actually designed by God for you real first Love(you mane with the trouble).
Remember that there is no RELATION THAT IS CALL A PERFECT RELATION.Every marriage has its own set of problems or ups and down.The grass might look greener else where but when you step on when you are there,you will see that are alot of set backs.
Stay by you problematic Man and settled him as a real man that belongs to you.
The current friend can see through the issue but he insist to go after you.can we tell if he is a perfect man without porblems?I can guarantee that he has his own falls.It is only that,it does not surface out yet.
I will suggest that,you return to your boy friend who is currently in touble with compassionate herat and pray for him and help him out.He will never for get you cos Love is Love and there is no such thing call perfect love.
Hope is piece of words could help afar.
thanks my dear sister.
2006-11-06 10:24:49 · answer #5 · answered by emmanuel_vandmk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The longer you hang on to a bad situation the worse it's bound to become. Your current man put himself in this situation, its not your job to protect him. The longer you stay at his side the more likely he thinks you'll plan on hanging around when its over as well. Walk away know and start a life for yourself without the drama. However, dating a friend of his may not be a good idea. That however has to be your decision, and yours alone. Good Luck
2006-11-06 10:13:19 · answer #6 · answered by novelwyrm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with your ex and let him know that there is no future for you and him. That he was dishonest with you by selling drugs behind your back at your house and cheating on you also should be reason enough, without further explanation.
2006-11-06 10:12:40 · answer #7 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a very compassionate person - is ur weakness sort it out
u will find answer to ur question it will take time give some time to it
compassionate should be for father mother bros and sis
2006-11-06 10:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by w32(virus) -- am'back 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the soon to be EX is a criminal bum. Run as fast as you can.
And this new guy, if he is a friend of the EX, is he the same sort of person? Don't go from one loser to another.
Raise your standards. Have some self esteem!
2006-11-06 10:11:38 · answer #9 · answered by Dog Lover 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is alone b/c he treated everyone poorly. Don't stay with him you deserve to be happy. The only advise I can give you is that if the new guy is his friend, he is probably doing drugs too and will treat you the same as the first guy.
2006-11-06 10:11:33 · answer #10 · answered by Lovely Lady 27 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋