My 23 month old boy is having tantrums when we go shopping or in the house. He dosen't listen to me Help?

Question

He is getting out of hand he never listens to me or his dad, he cries and cries and when he can't get his own way he goes even more mad.

Answer 1

Welcome to the terrible 2's. It happens to all children around this age. It is where the child is becoming more aware of their independence & are discovering their own minds. They realise that they can make decisions by themselves.
It is also frustration due to the lack of language & inability to express their thoughts using words. Their little minds work faster than their ability to tell you what they want resulting in a frustrated and angry child.
You will find that as your child uses more language he will become much calmer as he will be able to express his needs more efficiently.
Also at this age their little attention spans are very short as they want to explore everything around them & dont want to miss anything out. This is why he doesnt listen as he wants to find out on his own all the wonderful things there are to learn.
Be patient & consistent in setting your boundaries for right and wrong but dont be too harsh on the little man. He is still only a baby afterall!!!!!

Answer 2

Does he just throw a tantrum out of the blue or is it as a result of something – restlessness, boredom, tiredness or hunger. Usually there is a reason, my 18 month old is more likely to throw a tantrum when he is hungry or as a result of those reasons stated above. The best thing is to find out what the cause is and try to address it.

Throwing tantrum as annoying as it is can be an outlet for kids to let off steam and express themselves. When going shopping, I take a few finger foods – grapes, banana slices for my son and give him at intervals. I also let him carry some of the shopping and he usually likes this. Having said that, there have been few occasions when he refused to be consoled and I just had to end my shopping abruptly and head back home.

There are times when I know that there really isn’t anything wrong and I just let him be. Once he sees that I am not listening, he keeps quiet. Every kid is different and understanding your child and knowing what causes the tantrums and works for them is important.

I hope this helps

Answer 3

the in basic terms component that works for that type of tantrum is to thoroughly ignore them. in case you want to flow her to a secure area so she doesn't damage herself or everyone else you are able to yet do not say something or seem at her once you're wearing her to the different room. even as my son became about 19 months old he began pitching a in good structure even as he did not get what he needed. i'd gently restate my position (operating example, "you are able to in basic terms have a million cookie") and then i'd walk away as he flailed round on the floor like a fish kicking and screaming. the first of those matches lasted quite a lot 5 minutes yet after that they were given gradually shorter till after 2 or 3 days that they had quite a lot stopped. he's now quite a lot 23 months or perhaps although he does nonetheless have the occasional tantrum (what toddler doesn't) they are rare (possibly 2-3 per week) and not in any respect very last more effective than a minute or 2. good luck!

Answer 4

I have this same prob with my 2 yr old, tho we are getting her in line by each time she starts when we are shopping, mummy or daddy first tells her that we will take her to the car and the other one will continue the shopping without her, then with no further warning if she still doesnt stop we really do it, i take her out of the shop screaming, put her into the car, strap her in and wait outside the car until she has stopped crying then i get into the car and explain that because she was naughty we have to wait on the cold car now. .. this is slowly working for us and last week we had a succesful shop with no tantrums,, as for in the house we use the naughty step and the threat of it and it really works but mum and dad MUST back each other up and at no time show the child you are disagreeing with the other parent or not backing it up as this was a mistake we made and so it has been more of a challenge to get it right,, now 6 weeks on we still get tantrums but not so often and they are easy to curb straight away,,,, good luck

Answer 5

He won't listen to you, it's a fallacy that you can reason with a 2yr old.
You need to enforce whatever it was you required of him firmly, fairly and without question. Do not show weakness, kids are like little animals, they will pick up on it and use it to their advantage. The tantrums are attention seeking and are best ignored. Put him somewhere safe and let him get on with it on his own, he'll soon get the message. Shopping is more difficult so you need to employ distraction techniques from the outset, what colour is this, what does that say etc and avoid flash-points like the chocolate aisle/toys. Try and avoid sweets, fizzy pop and processed foods of all descriptions too, there was a study done on prison inmates re bad behaviour and food and it absolutely proved that processed foods exacerbates problems.(And that's in adults!)
Most of all you need to remember that we've nearly all been there and that 'YOU'RE IN CHARGE', cos if you're not soon you never will be. Good luck!!

Answer 6

He's really testing you now...stick to your guns...NO means NO...both of you must stick to what you say..if one says NO the other must to. DO NOT give in to him. The future benefits will be worth the hastle now. Have a naughty corner...no treats unless he deserves them, nothing to keep him quiet...this is only rewarding bad behaviour. From this he will only learn that when he yells he will get something. Don't worry about the crying, it's the ultimate weapon to make you feel guilty. Have a behaviour chart to reward good behaviour. Remove stars for bad...if he reaches a certain amount per week he can have a treat. It could just be a sweet...doesn't have to be anything extravagant. There is no quick fix, just a wicked routine and super streamlined teamwork. There is no quick fix, patience and routine, Don't give up...I know, I've been there as a single mum with another child. The kids Dad was seriously ill and really couldn't contribute...4 years later with the help of my new partner, the regime reaped major benefits. Now my daughter will tidy her room...help with dinner, hang out washing and is a joy to be with. One guy even complimented me on her behaviour whilst we were on the train...I'll tell you it felt great. You CAN do it...don't be held to kiddie ransom!
PS I have left my daughter at the age of 4 doing a mean break dance on the floor in Tescos because she didn't get her own way. Ignore the stares from the prudes who think you are a bad parent...they either don't get it or refuse to admit that their kids were not angels.
GOOD LUCK !!!
Just to add...take time out just to spend and read a story...do a bit of drawing, just time together. Praise good and try to ignore bad.

Answer 7

I have a 2 yr old daughter who never listens to me, I tell her not to jump on the sofa, so she jumps on the sofa, I ask her to let me change her nappy, so she runs away, I ask her not to hit her brother & sister who are 10 months old, she pushes them over & makes them cry! Most of the time I find myself shouting at her to get through but I hate it, I wish she would listen to me when I speak to her! I tried the naughty step trick, now if she does something naughty she'll go straight to it which kind of defeats the whole point, it's as if she likes going to it!!!

Most of the time she's either bored (which is why she's jumping on the sofa), so we'll do a puzzle of play with blocks, or she's too busy playing to get her nappy changed so I'll wait 5 mins then ask again. Shopping is the worst, I have to go when someone is available to watch the twins as I can't take them all so if my eldest is tired but still wants to come it's hell, she screams the whole way round. Take something for your son to play with or get him to help with the shopping, I've been giving my daughter the things that aren't likely to break so she can put it all in the trolley, she then feels like she's helping!

Answer 8

This sounds like a case of the terrible TWOs.
My wife and I mastered similar behaviour of our daughter then (now 4 and well behaved) by picking her up, placing her in a corner of the room (the room we were in, usually) tell her that we are unhappy with her behaviour and that we want her to stand in the corner for a while and stop crying. It took a few weeks but this behaviour stopped then and she became much more well tempered again.

The nice thing about this approach is that it clearly demonstrates a parent's frustration and disapproval to a child, without having to raise one's voice or a slap on the fingers.
It could be escalated by putting the child in his/her room - increasing the distance to the parent if in the same room is not effective.

Answer 9

If you are not in the shop then just let him scream. I don't know why people are trying to make them 'behave' when it is a natural process for a small child whose lungs are expanding. To help with this expansion they need to scream a lot. The more they scream the healthier and stronger their lungs will be. Don't take him to the shop I think parents who take their small kids to shops are asking for trouble anyway. Find a relative who can babysit while you are doing your weekly shopping. I'm sure it can be done. Remember, a shop is a very attractive thing for a young kid who's interested in everything and wants everything he sees. Even I knew that when I was a kid.

Answer 10

My son at the same age went through a stage of clawing at his face if things didn't go his way - it was pretty disturbing! I was advised to turn away and pick up a newspaper so he couldn't even see my face and totally ignore it. I was doubtful a simple thing like that would make even a bit of difference, but surprisingly, it stopped after only one or two goes - when he'd been doing it, I was really freaked out, and he knew it - when I didn't even look at him, he just seemed to get bored with it and stop. It's worth a try.