I've been seeing my boyf for about 7 months. We've been friends for over a yr. Before me, my boyf had been going out with someone for about 5 years. He is 22 and I am 27. He broke up with his ex as he realised he had feelings for me. I think the world of him.
He had planned to go away with his ex girlfriend in September travelling and teaching English as a foreign language. This has been delayed but is still on the horizon. He has now been offered a job in Hong Kong, where his ex is now living and working. I feel really bad about him going away (he doesnt know how long he'll be away for and it all depends on how it goes) but especially bad about the prospect of him being in the same place as his ex. They obviously have alot of history together and are still in touch from time to time as they have savings together. I know he still cares about her and I understand this. I respect that he'd planned to do this and its part of his development. But i'm hurt and confused. Please help.
2006-11-06 00:48:11 · 10 answers · asked by kelly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Someone mentioned about the savings, that was something that was done when they were together which had to run for a year before it matured.
2006-11-06 01:00:06 · update #1
Break up with him because he will cheat on you and they will be laughing at you.
2006-11-06 01:01:51 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but, it sounds like if your guy keeps telling you that he still has feelings for his ex then he never truly had feelings for you in "that way". You're kind of his rebound, yet, he's not leaving her. No matter if you already had plans and so forth with an ex, when you break up, that's it. No matter how long the relationship was. You said they have savings together, that's something that could easily be detached so they aren't joined in together. To me, it sounds like he's using these things as excuses to why he still "needs" to be contact with his ex. Let him go off to Hong Kong to be with his ex and tell him you can find someone that will make you feel just as important as he's making her.
2006-11-06 00:55:22 · answer #2 · answered by Steph 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it and ask him if he has any doubts about your relationship and tell him you want an honest answer. Ask him how he would feel spending time with someone he once cared about. At the end of the day it is your trust in him and if you dont feel you can cope with it maybe its time to take a break, as trust is a big part of a relationship.I really understand how you feel and i would be looking for help in the same situation. I guess the other way is stay together and just see how things go...you maybe worried about nothing at all, but i realise mate there is always a doubt and that my friend only you can decide
2006-11-06 00:58:22 · answer #3 · answered by blue_eyed_woman_of_3 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh god I'd hate to be in that situation. The only thing you can do is to let him go...be pleased for him that he's got this job, it was obviously all being planned before he got with you - I doubt he'll get back with his ex...5 years is a long time to be with someone and to realised it's just not going anywhere. Of course he still cares for her but he's with you for a reason - because he wants to be. He's just got to get the travelling bug out of his system, he is only 22 and that's very young. If you're meant to be together, you will be and if he misses you when he's away, he'll be back sooner rather than later. Trust and communication is the key. Good luck!
2006-11-06 00:54:35 · answer #4 · answered by long_luscious_lashes 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ouch - i can see where you're coming from - ok
If he broke up with his ex for you - then thats a good sign in your direction. Im sure shes hardly impressed with him dumping her for another girl though - so hopefully that a negative strike against him.
With regards to working with her etc - it could be tricky in the sense that he may redevelop these feelings for her when you're out of sight.
Its a really hard call hun - if you trust him - then hopefully you'll be able to put these doubts aside - I think you need to have a serious talk with him - you cant ask him not to go. xx
2006-11-06 00:53:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
sweetheart...sorry to tell you this but things are definately not over between him and his ex and you have a good reason to feel worried...when a relationship is over the two parties involved DONT share a savings......this should have been a huge clue for you...maybe you need to take another look at your relationship with this man.....good luck
2006-11-06 00:52:44 · answer #6 · answered by kimbersweet 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave him be. Going to Hong Kong is a choice for him. He wants to be near her, not you. Keep yourself busy & unavailable to him.
2006-11-06 00:54:18 · answer #7 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make sure he stays faithful while hes away, give him a reason not to go sniffing around. That's what I'd do if I was in your position!
2006-11-06 00:54:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow.........thats quite a predicament........
just let him know how you feel about him....you want to keep him so give him a reason to stay faithful........
make him see how special you are, how beautiful you are......make him feel good.........make him see how wonderful you are and that he couldnt live without you.........
the goal is to make him so crazy over you before he leaves that he wont be able to stop thinking about you.........not even long enough to do anything with his ex......
2006-11-06 00:52:41 · answer #9 · answered by SpinKick 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
go with him
2006-11-06 00:55:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋