Heart or reason? Should I listen to my feelings and not to do t or listen to reason and do it anyway?

Question

Your therapist says there is nothing wrong with living together without marriage. Your family is very religious, and they say they would accept it, but they would never like it. Actually you are a religious woman yourself. Anyway, you know you dont have many options as you are divorced, over 30 and it is not easy to get relationships... Anyway you dont like the siutation, and when you have to make plans for this 'living together' arrangements, you make them with a heavy heart and no enhthusiam. Should you do it anyway? Should you think: "At my age, at the 21rst century, what else should I expect to find?" Should you think you can get used to that later, and that living together can not be as serious as a marriage but it must be better than living alone? But if you tell yourself all these things and deep inside your heart you are still sad cause despite of what everyone says, you are not that person? You are conservative, you are yourself? :-( Which advice would you give to a friend

Answer 1

You already know the answer to your question. And as always Shakespeare said it best, "To thine own self be true."

Why would you want to be in a relationship where you have to do what someone else wants against your wishes? And what kind of man would pressure a woman to do something she wasn't comfortable with and did "with a heavy heart"?

Three suggestions:
1. Do not move in with this guy, follow your gut.
2. Dump him right now, and forget the nonsense that it's "not easy to get into relationships."
3. Work on yourself, and enjoy yourself and your life outside of relationships with men. You seems to derive too much of your self-esteem from these relationships and that's not healthy. Be the best, most interesting person you can be ALONE - and you'll be shocked at how many worthwhile people will want to be with you.

I know of what I speak. Good luck.

Answer 2

The heart will always out-talk reason.If I had a friend with this problem, I'd tell her if she wasn't comfortable with living together,not because of any outside influences, then don't do it. Just because 2 people are in a relationship, they don't have to move in together...Don't do it because society has dictated that you won't find anyone else if you don't do this. If your boyfriend loves you, he'll respect your decision.

Answer 3

You have to follow your heart!!!!!!!! Even if every possible arrow is pointing to the most obvious choice, you have to do what you thnk is right. Otherwise, you'll end up w/ a ton of resent and regret and nobody wants to feel like that and definitly nobody wants to make another person feel like that. You have other options besides this one. Think it over!!!!!!!! Good luck.

Answer 4

If inside you are 'not that way' then absolutely don't do it. Be true to yourself because you will never be happy unless you do.

Answer 5

stick to what you believe in, and dont give up those beliefs for anyone, friend.