My friend owns her own house and her only son lives with her (he is 23). He is mentally abusive to her and can sometimes even get a bit physical. She has asked him to leave on severall occassion as she is scared to go home to to her own house.
He hasnt worked now for 3 months and demands money from her, eating her food and using her electricity etc. She has asked him to move out and and has even said that she will give him some money if he goes. But he wont leave and wont give her the housekeys back. She is at the end of her rope and doesnt know where to turn. He has threatened her, and her property if she kicks him out. Whats are her options?
2006-11-06 00:46:57 · 19 answers · asked by Lottie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thanks for your answers they have been a big help. She has tried the police and actually got him arrested but she didnt go ahead with it. Hes on his last warning with the police and he knows he will go inside if he damages her house or touches her again - so now he is just mentally abusing her.
2006-11-06 01:06:00 · update #1
If she's in the UK, she can go to a solicitor and get them to apply for a Non-Molestation Order and an Occupation Order. If she is successful, he will have to leave. If the matter is sufficiently serious then there can be a power of arrest attached to the order so that if he breaches it, he can be arrested.
2006-11-06 00:55:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation is up to her. You may not agree with her not following through. She has the resources at hand and CHOOSES to not use them. She needs to find it in herself to contact the police and get him out of her house. Until something really bad happens, No one else can do this for her, only she can.
She has all the control and power, but does not see it that way. She can cut off all ties from him and if he starts in, she could get a restraining order. Stalking and Harassing a person is against the law.
2006-11-06 01:33:42 · answer #2 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she didn't go through with it, he knows he can get away with it. Extreme cases call for extreme measures.......Call the plice without having him know, and break a few things around the house(not of value). By the time the police get there, they should see him in all his glory. But if she isn't going to follow through with it, it's pointless. She can also legally have him evicted, but it takes time. Tell the police she fears for her life. As soon as possible, change the locks, and phone #. Get a restraining order on him.
2006-11-06 01:43:05 · answer #3 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is an adult and her rights are the same as if he were an abusive husband. She can go to the police and have him taken off of her property. If he hits her she can have him arrested. I know he is her son but someone needs to let her know that even if he is ill, that is not an excuse to abuse another human being. Especially your mother.
2006-11-06 00:50:57 · answer #4 · answered by Tanya M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should go to the police and press charges against him. When she go to court she can ask the judged to order him to seek counseling and to attend anger management. She can also get an order of protection but this would not stop him abusers almost never comply with them. Oh and tell her to change her locks.
2006-11-06 00:59:09 · answer #5 · answered by L@M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like "tough love" is her only option, since her son is terrorizing her. While he's out, she needs to have all the locks changed, and for a while, at least, have someone stay with her to make sure she's safe, or at least to have a witness to any threats he might make so that she can take legal action against him (a restraining order, perhaps). It's very extreme, and so tough to do, but it seems that with his entitlement and abusive attitudes, it's her only option to save herself.
2006-11-06 00:52:09 · answer #6 · answered by Mary C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If possible, get her to record some of the things he says to her....the threats, the abuse, anything that she can use. Take the tape to the police, get a court order out against him and change ALL the locks and put on extra ones. Change all phone numbers............basically, do ANYTHING she can think of that will possibly deter him eventually. I wish her the very best of luck.
2006-11-06 00:55:41 · answer #7 · answered by Kat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a court order which bans him from the property. Call the police re the assault.
Change the locks.
Get a large dog.
2006-11-06 00:49:27 · answer #8 · answered by Matt 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
her only option is to kick him out! He has no rights, and if he wont give her the key, tell her to put his stuff outside when hes not in, get the lock changed and tell him to pi55 off.She owns the house,whoever lives with her is through her choice, she doesnt have to let them stay.AND tell her not to give him money if he does leave, cos he'll proabably expect more, tell him to get a bloody job!
2006-11-06 00:51:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter that he's her son, at 18 he ceases to be her dependant. She could just change the locks while he's out, and she'd be quite within her rights (unless they have a formal leasing agreement, which is doubtful). She would legally have to give him access to his possessions, but not necessarily within the house.
2006-11-06 00:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by f0xymoron 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋