How do you determine if someone is looking for a quick **** or seriously interested in getting to know you without offending them.
I’m not looking for a one night stand, a hook up or anything like that (never appealed to me), but then again, I’m not looking for marriage tomorrow! I just don’t know how to determine this without offending the person (trust me I did that already and put not only my foot in my mouth but my ankle and calf too!)
I’m 29 years old, so I should have my “game” together, but I spent 7 years in a relationship and have been single/dating for the last 2 years. I dunno, any advice is appreciated.
2006-11-06 00:41:54 · 16 answers · asked by Lil Jello 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I guess the only way is not to "put out", and see if the person sticks around still. You'll find out if they like you for you and want to get to know who you are, or if they were just looking for a quick ****
2006-11-06 00:45:18 · answer #1 · answered by Mary C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I don't think its something you jump right into in a conversation. However, after a couple of dates if you've had that much I say state your intentions and have him do the same. Its better to know up front what both of you want and expect out of a relationship so that you might realize you're not wasting each other's time in wanting different things. Its not offending anyone just wanting to know up front where you're headed and if in the same direction. Do it when you've found a certain comfort zone with each other, like a sort of friendship on the verge of heading in a serious direction. I hope this makes sense.
2006-11-06 08:52:31 · answer #2 · answered by dsd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy answer; as you know most men (and some women) start a relationship because of sexual attraction and it is therefore very diffificult to take sex completely out of the equation. The key is to identify those who are sincere about a possible long term relationship. All things being equal, those men that are sincere will wait for you to become ready for a full relationship but they will still expect a show of affection to keep them interested.
2006-11-06 08:52:53 · answer #3 · answered by huge001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was also in your situation and one time and found it very hard to find out what the man really wanted. Most men want sex, with or without the friendship or relationship. So that's a given, if you offer they are going to take. I think your best route to finding out is to not have sex until you feel like that person wants you for you and not that quick #%$^. A man who only wants to get in your pants will shun off if he doesn't get any after the first few dates.
2006-11-06 08:46:08 · answer #4 · answered by Tanya M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When a man asks you out, make it clear to him that you are looking for a long term relationship. If he still agrees to go out, then he isn't just looking for one thing. Most men out there are looking for sex. The best way to get to know someone and vice versa is to be friends first. Let them know you just want to date and get to know each other. This will help you from making major mistakes in your life. Just remember to be honest and not to settle for anything less than what you deserve. Good luck.
2006-11-06 08:53:14 · answer #5 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have recently gotton out of a 5 year relationship. So I sorta know how you feel. Basically you need to try to get to know the guy. you know us guys love sex and are looking for it. But try to get to know that person. Do things with him. learn the likes and dislikes and see if the chemestry works. If this person makes you comfortable and makes you laugh and gives you attraction then you might ahve your answer
2006-11-06 08:47:10 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, that will take alittle time. Don't put out right away and see if they are still calling or going out with you. If they don't want to see you after a couple of dates with no hanky panky going on then they are out for one thing and you can move on. If they are still around, then maybe ya got something there.
2006-11-06 08:49:25 · answer #7 · answered by Shari 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just during regular conversation ask him what they are hoping for, what they are looking for in a relationship. That should do the trick. Tell him how you feel as well. that will help you get him to be more honest.
2006-11-06 12:19:01 · answer #8 · answered by flashpro 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you obviously dont have the game togerther if you have to ask this question. Just be straight up. If the guy is a real man or if he is kool, then he wont be offended. Honesty is good when your with a person who can handle it.
2006-11-06 08:46:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
try to take it easy with them, if you are really interested in a guy and want to find out if he looking for more than just sex then don't ask them, go out with them but don't sleep with them for some time and observe and see if anything changes, if a guy is interested in you and enjoys your company and he sees that there is more to you than just you body then he will not change a bit, he will still be happy to go out with you and have fun, then it is for you to determine how long you are going just go out with them with out inviting them in at night, good luck,, and yeah one more thing, only reward the guy if see appropriate,
2006-11-06 08:49:05 · answer #10 · answered by Mike 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋