OK its been nearly a week now and son still?

Question

spitting his dummy out because i wont let him use the computer.as i told him he has turned 13 he should get a part time job.but he refuses to do so ,so as punishment i said no job no comp but wife thinks i should back down.what you think

yes uk resident,i was refering to paper round.

gothammom ,spitting his dummy out is an english expression for not getting your own way like babies do when there young,lol guess your a yank.

Answer 1

U really should back down! If he is really 13 he is 2 young to get a job, especially if you guys have a good or acceptable financial situation. Let him leave his life as long as he can! Look, I joined the Army when I was 14!!! And I missed a whole part of my life! Working is not the same thing but still, its a burden at the age of 13! Don't make this mistake! This is my opinion

Answer 2

Hell yeah - get him to leave school and start in the slave mines 14 hours a day. That will make a man of him. Who needs a childhood anyway these days? I would force him to mow the lawn before you let him do homework too. And you should charge him every penny his (frankly slave labour) wages bring in to help towards your mortgage. I mean he chose to be born and be a financial burden to you all these years by chosing to be a baby and then a toddler - anyone considerate would have come into this world fully grown and payed your morgage off before his first birthday.

To be honest I really think you should back down he's 13 not 30! Unless he is greedy and wants to have lots of spending money at this age I can not see why on earth you would want him to work unless you need your kids to bring in cash to help you pay the rent. I would just let him be a kid a few years longer and get on with his school work - my God he's probably got 50 miserable working years ahead of him as an adult and you want him to start this horror sooner.
I'm 26 and I work like a dog 12 hours a day 6 days a week - I only got today off to help my father move some heavy stuff at home. If I had been working at 13 my school work would have been worse and I would have an even worse job now because of it and probably would have worked myself to death by now - my health is already suffering from all the work I do at the moment!

I really would just let him do his own thing while he is young enough to still enjoy life. If you don't want the financial burden of having children then I would have considered this 14 years ago before you bagan the process.
Anyway that is what I have to say about that. If you don't like my opinion then just take the first paragraph as literal rather than sarcastic and you have a proper yes-man's answer too.

Have a great day!

Answer 3

I know that you think its the right thing to do for him to make him understand the value of money and how it comes to you but maybe you could try this instead since he is only 13...

Assign him chores around the house ... keep his room neat and tidy, dry the dishes and put them away, take out the rubbish and the bins on bin day, etc and give him pocket money for it or better still hours on the computer.

Children of that age need structure as well as play and he is old enough to grasp those concepts.

For each chore done and done well and on time give him an hour on the computer. Be flexible though as he progresses and if he doesn't do what is asked then he loses an hour.

Or you can start him out with six hours and take them away as needed. But remember he will need reminding he is still young after all.

Answer 4

He can't legally work at 13; so offer him some jobs at home and pay him his allowance and also let him earn computer time.
You're being over the top, and he will become resentful and angry.
Its not wrong for him to help around the home, but you don't get willing co-operation like this. Its about family life, team work and friendliness, having a laugh together; not throwing your weight around.

Its not a matter of backing down; in future try talking with your wife and agreeing stuff like this first; and explain the new rules without playing the tyrant.

Answer 5

Don't back down now or he will think he can always get his own way by sulking. It is good that you are trying to get him to get a paper round. Its 30 minutes a day, not exactly hard work, and it will be good exercise for him. It should help teach him the value of money. You get out of life what you put in, and now is the time to start teaching him this - it will help him as he grows up.
At the age of 13 I had 3 paper rounds, morning, afternoon, and Sunday morning, and I saved for things I wanted like a bike or new clothes. It never did me any harm, and now I am hard working and in control of my finances.

Answer 6

Not sure he is legally old enough if you're in the uk, possibly just a paper round... Perhaps he could do chores around the house and earn pocket money (or time on the pc) that way. Keep a united front with your wife whilst you resolve this, there is a middle ground you can all get to but be careful not to alienate anyone- teenage years are hard enough for both kids and parents!

Answer 7

You decide. Why is it so important that at 13 your child should get a job?What are the lessons you're trying to teach. Or you just trying to prove a point.
Tell me something, do you want a good relationship with your son. Because if you do, then you should look at alienating him for such a minor reason. If he wants to get a paper round, surely that should be up to him.
I mean, it's not essential to the family income, is it?
You're being heavy handed and driving wedges in your relationship needlessly. Wait until he's 16, for Pete's sake.

Answer 8

Spitting his dummy out? Your 13 year old uses a pacifier? I don't understand.

Thirteen is a little young for a part-time job. I don't think that the law allows thirteen year old to work. I'm all for limiting computer time, but I wouldn't link it to a job.

Answer 9

Hes a bit young for a job but how about a paper round plus get him to do chores such as washing up at home to earn the right to use the computer. Dont back down totaly or it will happen all the time he his old enough to understand, you need compromise

Answer 10

i think you should back down. He is 13 for christ sake. once you leave school, you work for the rest of your life, he has plenty of time. Yes he should earn his time on the computer but in other ways, like helping around the house. and shouldnt you be more worried about his school work. if he starts working now, i can guarantee his grades will go down. In australia you have to be 15 and 9 months to get a job, i think that is a better age.