My sister is 13 years old, and we share a room. For a long time, she was constantly "borrowing" my things and leaving them on the floor. Clothes, CDs, makeup, hair products. Nothing was safe. Then I put a stop to that, and said she could no longer borrow anything of mine. Now she's making me feel guilty and starting fights. There was one this morning, and my mom yelled at both of us. I don't hate her, but I HATE living in the same house with her. I don't even want to go home after school and get her attitude again. HELP!!
2006-11-05 23:39:27 · 11 answers · asked by resistance fighter1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my parents have yelled till they're blue in the face, nothing helps, then when she gets in trouble b/c i told my parents, she takes it out on me
2006-11-05 23:52:00 · update #1
Love her, years down the road you will look back and laugh, but,
Family is the only one who will ever give something for nothing with no strings attached!
2006-11-06 00:04:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you're in this situation right now...I know it's hard cause I've been in similar situation...Heck, maybe we all have, but some of us is lucky enough to not being in the worst ones. Anyways, people have good sides an bad sides no matter how old they are, even a baby. It's just that younger people seems to hav all the bad sides being very obvious.
Well, I would say try to get on her good sides...and after you do, you'll be surprised you don't have to do any work after that. HOWEVER, the problem is, HOW are you going to get on her good sides. This, I can't really help you much because I'm not you and I don't live with you...but I'm sure you can do it.
If she can make you feel guilty, that means she found your good sides. It's not going to help if you make her mad because that's just helps her feel more motivated to do worse things to you. I wouldn't know what she likes or not...but you would know, or you can find that out.
Just remember this, It's much easier to get people to do nice things when they're nice, and when they like you.
2006-11-06 07:58:47 · answer #2 · answered by Razz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you brought this issue up with your mother / parents.
I suggest that it may be something that you have a family discussion about. Even if you have to share a bedroom you do need your space too. I understand the want and need for Personal Space and you are being forced to feel that your in the wrong. Your not believe me you deserve to be treated with respect too.
Firm rules should be in place.
Your sister has to respect your personal space as you would, respect hers. If she can't treat your personal items with respect then she does not deserve to use them. Its the old motto
Do onto others as you would have done to you
Sharing a room is difficult. But that does not mean you have to share your items. Let your mom know I really hope that she is understanding enough to listen to what you are voicing
I know it might be difficult not to yell or talk too loudly but try to remain calm through the discussion.
Do you have quality time discussions, lets say at the kitchen table for instance. A good talk a good discussion sometimes helps a great deal to let your mom know where things are and how come these issues are presenting themselves.
You did not mention your age but I feel that you are the older of the two sisters.
Respect for your space is what is needed.and wanted.
Thus in return offer the same respect to your sister.
Eventually she will mature and act older.
I hope it works out
2006-11-06 07:49:08 · answer #3 · answered by Spirit_Rain_3-SunShineAries 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation sounds just like my one friends. She did share a room with her sister at first but then after awhile she got her own room in high school.
Her sister would take cds,clothes,makeup ect. of hers all the time and pass them off as her own.
My friend has since moved out and is away at college but it still hasn't gotten better. Her sister still wears the clothes that she left here. And the proof is in the pictures.
You could hide what you don't want her to wear/use.
But if you didn't buy the hair products than those are fair game though.
Just try to sit down with her and your folks and have a nice civilized talk.
2006-11-06 08:32:46 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Brown Eyed Girl ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself a locker with a lock, then store your items there. Make sure that only you can access your items that are in the locker.
Unless she use a power tool or pick the lock, that should do it.
In the meantime, keep alive the diplomatic talk with your sister, do not involve the parents unless it's necessary and it involved them.
Also plan for the future, where you and your sister live in different room and maybe even different houses, unless you plan to continously share room with your sister.
2006-11-06 13:48:03 · answer #5 · answered by E A C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let it slide, I was in a similar situation and it only got better when
my sister entered high school as a freshman.
I know Its hard, and a ***** but it comes with the fact that your the oldest. It only gets better with time, I used to spend more time with my friends because of it.
One solution is to buy or give her a few of those items. It won't completely stop the problem but its a start. But you should definitely hide a lockbox outside the house or something.
2006-11-06 07:44:12 · answer #6 · answered by EasyCheezyLemonPeachy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a teenager to me =.=
Your best option would probably be to hide your most important stuff away (CDs, Make-up, expensive jewelery, exc...) and let her borrow a shirt every now and then. But you have to threaten her. Say like, "If you throw that shirt on the floor or get it messed up then you're never going to borrow anything from me ever again." And you have to really mean it, if she does do it, then ban her from ever borrowing your stuff.
2006-11-06 10:32:34 · answer #7 · answered by Mimblewimble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
turn about is fair play. simply tell her to be careful what she does to you because you will retaliate in kind. ie if she borrows your favorite sweater and it ends up on the floor, she'll find her favorite jeans under her bed after looking for them for days...you share a room with her and unfortunately, you are stuck with her. i'm assuming here that your parents have refused to interviene. as for her attitude, if she starts tell her you do not have to listen to her temper tantrum and she needs to leave you alone, otherwise you will pay her back in kind when her friends are over....and if you keep a diary, trust me on this, hide it well.
2006-11-06 07:43:36 · answer #8 · answered by kajunprincezz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents to take her to counseling she has problems and needs therapy, your parents and you have to go to, to learn to deal with this situation. Lock all your belongings and do not feel guilty, your sister have the problem not you.
2006-11-06 09:15:08 · answer #9 · answered by pelancha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Canings work rather effectively. Alternatively, you can take her shampoo and swap it with some hair removal cream.
2006-11-06 07:42:19 · answer #10 · answered by Raff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋