Really need some serious advice. I really love my boyfriend who I've been with 2 months. We've talked about having sex (it would be the first time for both of us. i'm 21, he's 25) and we both want to, but when I'm round his (I stay every weekend) nothing happens. We have great fun with each other, we're just not having sex. I really don't know what to do- I really love him and want to be close to him, but am worried this is becoming too big an issue for me, but I can't stop thinking about it, and what might be wrong. Should I just try not to think about it and concentrate on just being around him and doing stuff together, or does sex make that much of a difference in a relationship that I'm not being paranoid or over the top about it? How long have you waited before having sex, first time ever and first time with a new partner? I really don't want to spoil what I have with him- I love him too much, and really miss him when we're not together.
2006-11-05 23:04:06 · 29 answers · asked by jowigley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let it come naturally - don't force it! If you guys really love each other as much as you say you do then why are you trying to rush it? I have been with guys where I've slept with them after 3 dates, or some after 3 months. It does tend to be true though that the longer you make a guy wait the more chance you have or being in a relationship with them! You've only been together for 2 months - use this time to get to know your boyfriend better, go out and have a giggle, and don't stress about not having sex. It sounds like you two have the makings to go the distance and don't worry - there'll be plenty of time to do loads of catching up later!
2006-11-05 23:08:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the fact that you haven't had sex yet just shows that your boyfriend has a lot of respect for you and doesn't want to rush into anything with you as it is the first time for both of you. You should wait a bit and make sure you are both right for each other as i believe your first time should be so special and something to remember ( i only remember mine because i so horrible and ith the wrong person and i would hate you to make the same mistake i did)
You should both talk about it and make your feelings known as keeping things inside wont help because it Will just eat away at you. Just concentrate on spending time with each other and being in each others company. Sex isn't everything it is just a added bonus in a relationship and OK maybe t does make you feel closer and more loving but at the end of the day a relationship is about loving each other and companionship and having trust and fun together not just about having sex.
When the time is right your relationship will move on and you will have sex but just be patient and hang in there but when it does happen make sure it is the most romantic night of your life not just a quick one and after you think oh that's it i have done it now.
If you both love each other waiting a bit longer won't hurt there is no rush.
2006-11-05 23:18:00 · answer #2 · answered by gingey10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion.. relax. As you said, just try not to think about it so much, concentrate on just being with him and do the things the two of you enjoy doing together. Spend your time getting to know him, REALLY getting to know him, and letting him really get to know you. There's no need to rush into anything, it's not a race, so just let things happen naturally. If the two of you build a good solid foundation of deep friendship and closeness first, then the love the two of you feel for each other will become stronger and stronger. And when the time is right, you'll both know it, it will just happen. When it does, you'll both want to be relaxed, you'll probably want to make love with him rather than just have sex together. There's a world of difference! It's something very precious that only the two of you can share with each other.
Myst
2006-11-05 23:33:35 · answer #3 · answered by Myst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is great when it is done right. Right to me means when you are both comfortable. If he has waited this long then he must have some moral convictions. If you push him into it you will likely run him off and you will both be hurt in the end. The more you entertain the idea in your mind the more you are going to obsess. Try to leave it alone as much as possible and let him get ready. You're both very lucky people at this day in age. Don't use hormones as an excuse to ruin that. At least not for him. Sorry I couldn't find a more delicate answer, but.... good luck
2006-11-05 23:10:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just focus your energy more on the relationship 'cause sex will come in time. I think the guy really loves you for who you are not just for your body. Men like that nowadays are considered rare. He shows his love for you in many ways not just through sex; and maybe he's also waiting for the right time. Just don't rush things. Enjoy being together and develop your love for each other more; and get to know more about each other since it's only been two months.
2006-11-05 23:31:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just carry on as you are. It's not a big deal and you're making too big a deal of it. Just be relaxed about everything and just concentrate on the cuddles. Start with intimate kissing and touching and keep on like that for a month or so. You'll both know when the time's right. Good luck to both of you.
2006-11-05 23:09:02 · answer #6 · answered by Uncle Sid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u want to then talk to him, it maybe that he is to nervouse of making the first move on you as you may push him away, i was with my boyfriend for 3 months before we made love, we was on holiday together, and i didnt know he waqs a virgin as he had previously told me he had with other girls as well as in various places.
do not make it a big issue at all, and remember it takes to to tango, so if neither one of you are ready then it will not work out, also alot of the time sex is never planned as various things can get in the way, so dont plan just let it come naturally.
hope this is helpful
2006-11-05 23:10:31 · answer #7 · answered by amethyst2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do`nt forget he is still a virgin too so he is just as anxious discuss your worries with him.
If I was in your situation I would suggest that your went away to a nice hotel in a romantic location go out for a romantic meal with a few drinks and see what happens next
GOOD LUCK
2006-11-05 23:09:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
sex has to be a natural thing and will just happen with the flow of things. there isnt a certain rule saying that you have to be with someone for a certain period of time before doing it, it is just best leaving it to when you are both feeling comfortable and you will know when the time comes that you are ready.
2006-11-05 23:09:42 · answer #9 · answered by kt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing.............THERE'S NO RUSH!!!!!!!!
If you're both comfortable with the way things are at the moment, what's the problem...........just concentrate on being loving and close to one another, and the sex will happen when the time is naturally right for the both of you.
Relax...............and things will just fall into place........
Good luck...........
2006-11-05 23:08:38 · answer #10 · answered by Malc S 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋