good jokes?

Answer 1

Man 1 : Hey man, what's up?
Man 2 : Hey buddy! I just bought this very expensive hearing aid, I'm not deaf anymore!
Man 1 : Really? How much was it?
Man 2 : Just yesterday.

Answer 2

a boy bought a parrot which he thought didnt talk but when he got it home all it did was swear and make jokes about him so he told it to shut up but the parrot just kept going. ill put u in the freezer if u dont stop swearing said the boy and the parrot stopped but only for a few seconds then it started again so the boy put the parrot in the freezer. the parrot kept swearin for about 10 minutes untill suddenly he stopped so the boy rushed back thinkin he had killed it. he opened the freezer and the parrot walked out saying im so sorry ill never swear again. what did the other bird do?

Answer 3

Another parrot joke , but this one's better
Old guy takes his parrot to the vet , it's not moved for a week ,it stinks and it's eyes are decomposed.
"Yes" says the vet "I can see the problem sir . It's dead"
"No " says the old guy, I don't believe you , he's always been so chirpy. I want a second opinion"
"No problem" says the vet and brings in a Golden Labrador from the waiting room . The Lab starts chewing the parrot , paws it about the floor for 5 minutes , loses interest and walks off.
"There " says the vet , "It's dead".
"No , I want a third opinion" says the old fart.
"No problem" says the vet who goes next door and brings through a cat.
The cat starts chewing the parrot , paws at it and walks away.
"There" says the vet "It's dead"
"Ok" conceeds the old guy.What's the bill than?"
The vet puts the bill together.
"That'll be £350 sir"
"Feck off ! £350 just for your say so."
"Now , now sir , Not just my say so . You've had a Lab report and a CAT Scan as well"

Answer 4

How do you expect an answer when there is nothing there to answer? Good Jokes? What good jokes? You didn't write any.Huh?

Answer 5

George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side."

Bush interrupted, "Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?"

The doctor replied, "That's true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn't anything right, while on the right side there isn't anything left."




Two blondes at a bar on a cruise ship, one says I'm just going to the loo. When she gets back she finds her friend alone in the bar. "Where's everyone gone?"
"To see the band," her friend replies, "While you were in the loo there was an announcement , A band on ship!"

Answer 6

ye, heres one for ya! a man walks into a bar and says......ouch!
i know its lame but nobody on here ever gets the good ones, so will have to start tellin crap ones. some people are a bit slow

Answer 7

Zookeeper to Paddy - the gorillas on heat and I need someone to have sex with her. Will you do it for £4500?
Paddy - I will with three conditions.
1. I dont kiss her
2. My family dont get to know
3. Give me two weeks to get the cash together!

Haha!

Answer 8

A young guy standing at a bus stop with his dog.......... an old lady stood next to him says ''does your dog do tricks''? the young lad say's yeah but theyre a bit naughty i couldnt possibly tell you what ............ she convinces him that she's been around and wouldnt be embarassed .......... so he tells her that if you hit it over the head it licks your dangly bits..........whoooooo she says can i see so the young lad embarassingly pulls his pants down and hits the dog over the head with a stick......... and so the dog licks him.............. she says thats amazing .........can i have a go but dont hit me over the head too hard..... lol

Answer 9

Can someone explain the one about the boy walking through the woods cause I really don't get it and I've asked all my friends and they don't either.

Answer 10

What do you call a man with no arms in a swimming pool?


Bob!