My dad died of cancer 2 years ago. Ever since then I have been struggling with my faith.........?

Question

after two years I am still in doubt about weather there is or isnt a god. i am sure if my father heard me talking like this he would smack me good (he was a minister) i guess what i really want to know is why did he have to die? and why do i wish that if i had to chose between him or mom who lived or died i would have chose my mom? is it wrong of me to feel this way? should i not doubt god? I love my mom dearly i think we have grown closer since my dad's death. (we have always been a tight fmaily.) i've tried talking to professionald about this but all i do is cry and shut down. i find it easier typing and crying. at least no one sees me.

Answer 1

My deepest sympathies for your loss. It is easy for us to tell you it is all in God's plan... but when tragedy happens at our door step its not such an easy bullet to bite.

It IS OK to feel angry with God, I assume you are Christian, and in Christianity God calls himself the Father.

In human terms, sometimes our human parents will do something to us and for us, beyond what we can see, like limiting our TV time so that we can complete our schoolwork or help us save our money for college and in the mean time we do notget to buy the really expensive Dress from Prada.

In saying so, I cannot say for sure God has a plan or what that plan is, but if your beloved father placed full trust in God, then I am thinking you would too... seeing sometimes God gives us situations that we do not like... as a Child my TV time was like a Pot of Pure Gold. I did not see the value of homework and such.

Now that the loss of your Dad is so arresting... maybe its God's whisper to you to continue serving him by honoring your mom? God takes care of your Dad in heaven, while you be the caretaker of yourself and your mom on Earth, until you are able to have a family reunion once again somewhere in the future.

Who is to say, that your loss does not propel you to be as great a man as your Daddy once was, the hundreds if not more people he had inspired as a minister towards faith in the Divine, Love towards Humanity and Devotion towards his Family? Maybe God has great plans in store for you and for greatness to be won, all the sages and prophets of the past had to go through much trials and tribulations, like the forging of a lump of raw iron into a pristine Sword that protects the weak and defends those in despair.

Maybe YOU are going to be that Sword, it doesn't diminish the severity of your loss, but this loss can be used to strengthen you more or degenerate you, the choice is in your hands...

Be Angry! Be upset! Mourn! But once you are more at ease, Heal! Honor those around you... Love those who are with you... and honor the momory of your late father by being as wonderful a man as I am sure he was... For no man can invoke such great devotion and love from a child, unless he himself was truly a great man...

Hope all will be well soon.

Answer 2

Hi. I wish that I could take away your pain and answer all of your questions. Of course I can't but I feel compelled to say something just so that you know that you're not alone! I know from my own personal experience that God does exist and I'm guessing that if your dad was a minister you must have heard, seen some stuff to convince you that He does too. If u are unsure ask him to reveal himself to you and be open to him and he will. I don't know why your dad died when he did-i guess noone can ever answer that. I am really sorry that you are hurting. I don't think that it's wrong for you to feel like you would have chosen your mum rather than your dad. Honestly we are all usually closer to one than the other and it is normal. In a situation like yours there is always a lot of raw pain and anger and questions as you try to process what is happening. In that stage all sorts of things can come up. God doesn't have a problem with you having questions but he would like to be able to help u through your pain and hold u close to himself. Crying is healing. Talking to a professional may help u a bit later but right now it is normal to just cry. So my big advice is to just cry and call out to God. If you need to ask him questions or yell then do it to release some pain and then let him hold u while u cry. I will pray for you. I'm so sorry for your loss and your pain.

Answer 3

First, let me tell you that I am so sorry for your loss. I've been there. My dad died fifteen years ago. That's what led to MY struggle with my faith...which lasted twelve years.
It took me ten years to understand why my dad died, and I'm still finding more reason behind it.
First, it brought my mom and I MUCH closer. I used to think I hated her, I used to wish that it had been her instead of my dad, and believe me when I say, I still miss my dad every day.
The pain never goes away.
As for whether it's "wrong" to feel the way I did, and the way you do, yes, in a way it is wrong. But, it's NORMAL. God understands.
It's also normal to doubt God, and His mercy, when someone close to you passes on.
My theory is this: One must die, so that another may live. Your father dying is just part of the balance between life and death. And it could also be that you'll know later on. Maybe you NEED to doubt God.
My faith in God, and my love for Him, is deeper now than it ever was because I doubted. Now, I'm not only thankful for everything I believe, but I'm thankful that God had patience with me.
If you need to talk to anyone, feel free to message me. I've been there, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'll pray for you.

Answer 4

Bad things and some really bad ones happen in our lives. It is an unexplainable desperate situation when we are into the worst times of our lives. But the bottom line is that, we continue to go on because we are destined to. People die and are born every second, but time never stops and nor do the lives of billions of people in the world as a result of mishaps, accidents and tragedies. We should not be questioning God or putting ourselves in doubts about the existence of God Almighty. He is there when nothing was there, and only He will be there when nothing else would be there. Everything has to meet its end because all things come with an expiration date. In simple words, what if you saw a man with terribly long, curled and dirty looking hair walk on the streets of a rich state or country.. what reason would you present to justify his dirty appearance? Would you say that there are no barber shops in the country or no barbers? Obviously not. The reason could be any other than that because if there were no barbers in the country, everyone would have a similar untidy appearance. In short, God exists... we do not see it or want to see it because we like to see things happening the way we want... but it does not work like that... we can not control everything we see or touch or feel.

Answer 5

I am very sorry for you loss. Don't be angry with God, this is probably normal for some. Last year I lost my mom she was only 63 years old, in 1998 I lost my husband the love of my life, and In January 2004, I lost my first grandchild, she was born with birth defects and her brain did not develop. This was a horrible series of events. That at times have left me feeling pretty angry with God. He is real and he knows our pain. He lost his son, his son died for our sins. Unfortunately, when we are born, we are living a minimal amount of time here, and only God knows how long that will be. Death is the hardest part of life. it is very difficult to live and be happy after someone who has meant so much to you is no longer there. However, you have your memories, and you also have the knowledge that your father was a good man, a minister, which would lead me to believe he lead a very good life with Christan values. So, you should find peace in the fact that he is with God. Continue going to counseling, this pain does not go away over night. My eldest son lost his father when he was 6 years old, a year later lost his great grandmother and one year later his great grand father, then when he grew and had his first child, his daughter died and suffered a great deal the 10months she lived. We must hold on to the memories and find happiness within them. We must find the blesssings within our lives and be happy in them. The blessing is that you had a father who loved you, cared for you and left you with these memories. He has left you yes, but not by his choice, and he has left you in the hands of your very capabale and loving mother. In time you will begin to heal and it wont hurt so much, ask God to give you strentgh and courage, tell him your angry with him, he already knows and he understands. I will keep you in my prayers, you will begin to feel better and heal from your loss. Dont give up on God, keep your memories close. These feelings you are having are very normal, however, keep talking about them it is never healthy to keep your pain bottled up inside, even if you are talking to God. Good luck to you and God bless

Answer 6

God did not promise that we would live forever.
Remeber that all things happen according to his will.
HIS will.
We can't expect our loved ones to live forever because they are children of God.
We all must die.
It's a part of life.

What you must do is keep your faith and try to find some comfort in his plan.
Your Father is no longer suffering.
And just because God has taken him from this world doesn't mean that He loves you less.
We must all pass on when the call comes.
That's God's plan.

Answer 7

I'm sorry this happened to you but you're right, your dad would smack you. My pastor just preached about how we always blame God instead of realizing that our lives are in God's hands and things happen for a reason. I wish I had my notes with me because he referred to great scriptures that let us know that God doesn't punish us by taking away our loved ones. Just know that someday you'll be reunited. God bless!

Answer 8

I am sorry about your dad.

Today I am not here to tell you if there is a God or not.

I just want you to stop feeling condemned. God certainly doesn't punished you for anything.

I know you missed you dad dearly. I just want you to know that he is now in good hands. I am sure you will see him in heaven.

The Lord watch over you and your family and show you His countenance and His peace and favor surrounds you like a shield. Shalom.

Answer 9

Don't worry. If ur dad had believed in God, then u will see him again. It is not wrong for u to think anything, it's just ur instinct. He died becoz his time had come. He was too tired. God knows what he is doing, all he does, there is good behind it. One day, u'll find out why.Nobody is told what is not their business.

Answer 10

I'm very sorry to read that you lost your father.

At times in my life, I've asked myself the same questions that you have -- I lost my father when I was 11 years old. He was only 37.

After many years, it finally dawned on me that I was not alone in my suffering and loss. Christ was there too, and so was His blessed Mother. Both of them also experienced suffering and loss.

Jesus and His mother Mary saw a lot of pain and loss in their own lives and in the lives of those around them. For Jesus, this was one of the consequences of His sharing in our humanity -- along with everything else, He shared in our suffering and loss, and indeed even experienced it firsthand.

So too did His Mother. She watched people around her get sick, suffer, and die -- including her own husband. She saw her Son wrongfully convicted of a crime and brutally executed.

And, although the Bible doesn't record this, she no doubt saw the early Christians suffer persecution, arrest, and even death after Christ's Ascension -- she may have even experienced some of this herself.

Christ is not some distant God who is not part of our suffering and trials in this world. He experienced them and He saw them with His own earthly eyes.

Please know that your father is undoubtedly in the eternal and glorious presence of God at this very time.