My 15 year old daughter is a Pain!?

Question

My 15 year old step daughter is a pain!
Because:
She is a slob, takes hours and hours to do simple tasks!

Starts fights with me and the wife almost daily! What happens is I will tell her to clean her room or whatever and she crys and her mom will come out and verbally attack me and the goes on from where I left off in the first place.

Is none stop trying to get sex from boys

Dresses like a whore, spike heels, layers of makeup

Needs to be constantly watched over, can never trust her always lets us down.

Has a .87 GPA

Gets in Fights at school and gets suspended.
Logs up to 277 phone calls in 3 days.

She doesn' do drugs, but her real father was hostel and only went to 10 th grade. I wonder if she just takes after him??


Question is?? Is this normal?? What should I do?? I am fed up!! And I don't know how to thank all of you who may answer. So please let me thank you now! Thank you! If I get the chance I will email you on the progres

Answer 1

Man your daughter needs a reality check big time. Shes thinking shes a bad *** and life is a game. *** whippens and harsh punished seems to fix alot of things like that. But you gotta be a bigger bad *** than your daughter. If not, then you gotta get or pay someone to do it for you. You can try counseling but shell probably think of it as a joke. Shes getting too old to be doing that bad. That GPA is horrible. I feel for ya. And would love to see her succeed. So no more mr nice daddy. She is 15. You have total control still. You be a pain in her ***. Shell think your being mean. But it works. Go to her school, and sit in her classrooms. I mean do anything and everything. Dont let her have a cell phone or anything with grades like that. Dont let her go with her friends a damn place to her homework is done, if she said she did it, go ahead and let it slide, but ask her teachers the next day to find out. Get involved. Find out everything. If she doesnt do the right thing. Consequence. No phone, no hanging out. She might hate you, but shell learn. And if she STILL dont, send her to a military school. GO ALL THE WAY. Cause if someone gets through to her, no matter who it is. Itll make all the difference. And if shes succesful.. all the thanks will come back to one person. You.

Answer 2

You've got a lot on a plate and this is more than a bunch of on-line strangers can do to help, but I'll do my best.
First off, if she has a cell phone, take it away. She can earn it back as a privilege. If she hides it from you so you can't take it, tell her fine, she can pay the phone bill.
Get involved with her school. Get to know all her teachers, her principal, and school counselor. Talk to them and seek advise from them.
Get yourself into marriage counseling. You want positive changes in the child and your wife is counteracting that. Marriage is supposed to be a support system. You will get nowhere and that poor child will have a very difficult adulthood with such sloppy parenthood.
Lastly, find that child some counseling. Her school counselor should be able to point you in the right direction with that.
Don't give up on her. It sounds as if you want good things for her.

Answer 3

It's a very hard situation you are in no doubt, but is a very common situation now-a-days. This behavior can obviously be from a number of things, hence you asking. I'm no doctor, but, I do have 7 brothers 1 sister, and 16 nieces and nephews.

As much as she will say she hates you and her mother she needs simple discipline.

Make sure you point out the good things she is doing.

Set goals for her. Reward her for achievements.

Ask her how her day was

Who she is going out with

If she wants to do something with you and her mom


Limit internet and tv, take it out of her room. (she will obviously get foaming-at-the mouth mad)

Remember that discipline only works properly if there is positive reinforcement. You and her mother must plant little seeds here and there to gain or re-gain her trust and respect. Her attitude will not change over night. Be diligent.
Good Luck

Answer 4

There are NO normal 15 year olds. so welcome to the terrible teens...I have often said I would go willingly into a den full of terrible twos before I would cross a teen. As for the dressing...this too shall pass. Stop fighting with her over it. It is only causing her to do it more and you more frustration. As for the phone calls...take the phone away. Make the phone a PRIVLEGE rather than a right. As for her grades...she will learn soon enough when she is stuck in a boring minimum wage job.
Trying to get sex from boys...why is she dating at 15? Being a slob...shut the bedroom door. Starting fights between you and your wife...that is a lack of communication between you and your wife. You BOTH need to be on the same page as far as discplining this girl. If you're not NOTHING is going to work. And don't blame her bio father for her behavior. My father left school in the 7th grade and never returend, all of my siblings (including the BAD ONE...me), went to highschool and then to college. Her grades are HER responsiblity not her bio father's.

Answer 5

im guessing that your the new stepfather. My parents were divorced and it took quite a long time before i became comfortable with my step dad. Just give it time and it'll all be alright.

Another thing to add. I'm guessing that she still loves her real dad, and feels that You're the reason why her real parent's aren't together anymore. She might resent you for a few months, maybe years, but this is normal when someone new is introduced into the family. NEVER EVER accuse her of being selfish or ignorant. That'll just make this whole thing worse

At least she's getting 87% gpa, which is pretty good

Answer 6

All kids try to test their parents when they become teens and im sorry to say that you and mom are failing the test. Who is buying this trashy wardrobe? Who is paying for what I assume is a cell phone? You guys are. STOP IT!! She wouldnt get nothing but food and water from me until she straighten up. If she wanna get suspended from school make that 3days living Hell for her. She should be cleaning every room in that house, no phone, no tv, no computer. Those 3 days are not a vacation for her. Try taking her to your local juvenile detention center to scare her. And finally you and your wife are a team and you had better start acting like it!! Divided you guys will fall. Tell her mom you cannot and will not live in a chaotic home. Good luck!!

Answer 7

First of all, do not talk to her negativley, when you label your child, your child tends to take those assumptions in and acts on them, I know you are very angry but some actions further agitates behavior instead of alliveiating it.
As far as her behavior I would activley pray about it whether you are buddhist christian or what have you pray works.
Next find something that she enjoys doing, it must be something that she likes or enjoys even if it was when she was younger find something to center her energy in.
Does she like attention, maybe she wants attention, get her in acting classes it can center her behavior and allows her to express her feelings in productive ways.
Maybe it is art, there is something that every child is good at, just take a breath and focus on the solution.
As far as the boy thing, I would take her seriously to a home for teenager pregnant girls, try catholic charites they have some, and allow her to see how hard it really is.
Also let her visit people on the ward where aids patients are, allow her to visually see the repercuations for her actions.
Also there are free outdoor camps that are nice during the summer girls, you can fill out a form and they have grants where your daughter can go for free just google it.
Stay down at her school, if thats what you have to do, sit in class with her for a day, she will freak out. Also keep emailing the teachers to find out her weekly progress to keep any slipping.
Lock the doors the window etc. and keep a watch on her and pray.
This may seem like a lot but it is better than 5 years from now having a grown woman who cannot support herself and that has problems that you still have to deal with or try at 30.
I am a single parent of a 16 year old and a 14 year old and these things I am telling you from expiernce.
I check my sons grades once a week, he has went from making D's and C's to A's and B's. I went down to his school and threatened to sit in each class with him. And I pray so best of luck to you. I understand.

Answer 8

You and your wife have to present a unified front. Otherwise you aren't going to get very far with her. Your wife is going to have to take the lead on discipline. Step parents who try and take control are rejected without any thought. I would curtail her phone privileges down to a reasonable amount. Perhaps no calls after a certiain time in the evening?

Answer 9

Umm, she's a teenager, it's a phase. This is totally normal.
While the drugs and fights are not normal the rest of it is.
There isn't much a parent can do, to be honest.
You can try counselling, you can try moving schools, you can try getting tough and searching her room (but beware of potential backlash).
Educate her on sex. Become her friend. Don't yell and scold, but find out what's driving her (besides hormones.)

Answer 10

Yes this is normal she is a teen and is most likly going through a stage that most of them go though. Tell her she is beautuiful the way she is and that she goes not have to dress like a whore to get the boys attention. Mabey sit down with her and talk about why it is taking her so long to do these simple tasks, because mabey something is bothering her. Anway best of luck.