I have this great friend i met at a party, the attraction was there, we exchanged numbers and have been good friends for quite a few months. He fell for me and still likes me but i don't like him enough to make a relationship worthwhile, and he knows this and still wants to be friends.
The attraction is there, physically he is very attractive and while with my boyfriend i felt like i couldn't trust myself around him. Now i'm single (i got dumped due to there bein another chick).
The thing is, i've been used by every single guy i've slept with. For once, i have a chance to sleep with a guy who actually cares about me. I don't know what it's like to be anything other than an object.
But is this selfish? will i hurt him by sleeping with him yet by not dating him? he was cool with making out infront of his mates for some fun and mentioned it would just make us stronger as i was cautious about it.
I'm not sure what to do, i'm so attracted to him, yet, i don't want to hurt him.
2006-11-05 18:47:34 · 16 answers · asked by EcXeSSive ConSUmptiON 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I realize that you dont want to hurt this guy and I do know where you are coming from (I recently lost my guy to a friend of ours). Now I know that you say that you dont want to date him, but why? You are single and I dont think the question here should be will sleeping with him hurt him I think you need to think about you, if you dont like him enough to date him then why would you want to sleep with him? Why not take the chance and see if that friendship could turn into something else, I mean you are already talking about sleeping with someone who cares about you so you must feel that he is sincere. One thing I have learned from experience is that the best relationships I have been in were when we started out as friends first. No I dont think it will hurt him I think it will hurt you especially since you say that youve been used by every guy that you have slept with. No I dont think that he will be hurt in fact it sounds like he is already enjoying hisself by making out in front of his friends "for some fun" and it "would make us stronger". It sounds like this guy already considers you his girlfriend. You need to look at the situation very closely. Either go out with the guy or just be his friend but whichever you decide stick to
your decision. If you decide to be just friends then no more making out in front of his friends - okay? SLP
2006-11-05 19:15:45 · answer #1 · answered by SHEILA P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not been in a good healthy relationship with a guy that you are not only attracted to but someone that you are committed to. Don't sleep with this guy, unless you are both in agreement about your relationship and what it means. If one wants more of a commitment than the other, you will surely loose your frienship over this act of sex. You can never go back once you step over the line and become intimate. The friendship will never be the same. Show some control and hold out for someone whom you are not only attracted to, but someone whom you want to be involved with in a committed relationship. Using and being used for sex is not right. It's just that simple. There's right and there's wrong.
2006-11-05 18:58:47 · answer #2 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened to moral standing? You admit that this is not the first guy your willing to sleep with.
And still you have not learned your lesson?
I've been in some good and some bad relationships in my life. All of them ended up in the bedroom.
Let me tell you something, a single man will never say no to sex!! If he does, he's either gay or you must be the ugliest girl he's ever seen.
Why would you want to spoil a great friendship?? Sex is suppose to be a proof of your love to someone, not that your a loose, horny, no self respecting sex maniac.
I'd think long and hard before sleeping with someone you have no intention of having a relationship with.
2006-11-05 19:02:24 · answer #3 · answered by Stormy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it can hurt the way your brain functions. You won't be able to drive as well, remember things as well, it'll make you moody and anxious, all kinds of things. I've never been up 24 hours, but, I have gone a day where I've pulled all nighters and eventually I become sort of zombie like, and it can actually be hard falling asleep when I lay my head down at first at times when I have stayed up all day and night. (I have read that your body can actually become too tired to sleep sometimes) but when I feel that way, I just keep laying there cause the sleep'll hit me eventually.
2016-05-22 03:09:01 · answer #4 · answered by Patricia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It will.
But because you're being honest with him now, if things turn out the way you warned him they're going to and he's hurt, then he pretty much asked for it. It's fair and justifiable. A learning experience.
He'll be hurt too if you start avoiding him and drift out of his life to spare his feelings. At least the other way, he gets some good sex before the inevitable heartbreak.
2006-11-05 19:01:39 · answer #5 · answered by randomstupidhandle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have enough respect for yourself and for him not to start anything you don't have any intention of finishing. Sounds kind of depressing and empty to sleep with someone just because. Of course I'm not cool like everyone else here. You can always sleep with him later if you do decide to date him.
2006-11-05 18:54:41 · answer #6 · answered by dantheman_028 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love him, don't sleep with him. It's not fair to him, and yes, you would be selfish.
You might want to examine the reasons why he truly cares about you. Once you undertand that, I think you will have taken your first step away from being an "object" and toward being someone guys will respect.
2006-11-05 18:57:11 · answer #7 · answered by freedomnow1950 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just think about how used you felt in the past. If he really does care about you and you sleep with him he might feel exactly the same way. Just because its happened to you doesn't mean its okay to do to someone else. If you do sleep with him, dont lead him on to thinking theres anything more! be honest with him, thatll be the best way not to hurt him.
2006-11-05 18:54:23 · answer #8 · answered by idontknowjustgivemeaname 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about "hurting" him. Protect your own heart. Has he told you that he loves you? If you are kissing, try telling him,and see what he says. If he really loves you he won't break your heart. And the same goes for you. If you really love him, you won't bread his either. Good Luck! LOL!
2006-11-05 18:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not ask him out on a dinner date 1st? then as you go along, ask how he feels abt relationships in general/his idea of a "perfect" couple/etc. After that, it's up to you to conclude and act as you feel fit :) gd luck...
2006-11-05 18:58:13 · answer #10 · answered by wat_more_can_i_say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋