Fed UP with FEMALES!! problems?

Question

From my observation, the problem with society today is the (girl > boy) bias. What i mean is, Girls have it so much easier to find "mates" than guys do. Any average girl can act or dress a little risky, and pretty much instantly, she'll get noticed by the "pack of dogs". Building up the courage to tell a girl she is beautiful or asking her to spend time with her is nothing unique, for a girl can post a pic of herself on a slap-shod Myspace website, and before you know it, she'll have 15 comments each saying how hot she is, cause any guy is gonna try to get a piece of the action if he can.
Crude way of putting it: "If a girl spreads her legs, somebody is gonna put it there"
Girls in general, especially around my age of 21, if they are at least Average in the looks dept. are gonna have guys smiling at them and treating them good no matter where they are; the gas station, school, work... Even when they aren't looking for one, a guy is going to be making offers.

A guy on the other hand, has it totally different. Being the bored kid I am, I put a typical picture of myself on “hotornot.com” to find out I’m in the 8 range on a 1-10... If I ask anyone for advice on how to meet a potential girlfriend, I always hear: oh just wait and a girl will come to you.
But I believe the contrary, because I have become frustrated with trying to meet girls, and regressed into a “non-caring” phase before. And wouldn’t you guess? To NO AVAIL… The reason, I think, is because of the prior. Girls don’t look for guys, guys look for them, no matter where they are, a guy is going to strike up some type of conversation with a girl, try to get her number, anything. And that is because we’re DESPERATE. I’m not gonna lie, I’m nervous. I keep telling myself “it’ll be ok, just give it another 6 months and I’m sure a girl will come along, or I’ll meet someone” …But honestly, I’ve been saying that since I was 15.

. I have had ZERO girlfriends since then! It’s not happening, I’m losing the battle, and I Absolutely DO NOT want to end up alone, and that’s my biggest fear of all.
To prove what I say you must realize, I’m not the only one with this problem. I have male cousins on both sides of the family, one’s 21, and one’s 19. Both of them are decent respectable guys. Neither of them have a girlfriend. Out of nearly a dozen of my friends, none of us have a girlfriend right now(keep in mind, only one of these guys is overweight, all of us have jobs and money, and about ¾ of us are in school/college). Search the “Singles and Dating” section of this Yahoo Answers. Look at all of the desperate guys asking you guys, the community, what’s wrong with them, and why girls don’t like them? I also want you to notice, that the girls questions are structured a little different.

“my boyfriend did this… what should I do”
“this guy likes me what should I do”
“I don’t know what I should say to this guy”
“guys are jerks”
“why did he do this to me”
…you see what I’m seeing? The girls’ problem is never finding the guy, but rather what they should do to keep or get rid of the guy that’s currently after them. I’ll give you a personal example. My sister (17) used to get mad at me for talking to her friends because she was thinking I was trying to pick them up or something. She would criticize me constantly for flirting with them, she even went so far as to not have them over to visit her. In all honestly, they were interested, and she didn’t want to see her friend hitting it off with her brother, because “that was just wrong” in her opinion. She told me to find girls somewhere else, I tried… with no success of course. She would say it wasn’t a big deal to be single, after all, she was too!

But this last year, she found herself some guy – hmmmm wha-do-ya-know? Now she could care less about my problems, and obviously society will continue to function without me.
Now I want to let you know, I’m not just crying from the sidelines, and doing nothing about my problem.
I’ve taken a Proactive stance on the issue. For example, any imperfections that a girl points out, or that someone like my friend can convince me that I have, I work to get rid of. I used to play a lot of video games, I was convinced this was my problem, and that if I quit, things would shape up. I sliced down my 20+ hrs a week, down to under 2 hrs a week- no positive results.

I thought for a while that I was maybe I wasn’t skinny/toned enough. I cut junk food almost completely out of my diet, started exercising 3-5 times a week, lost around 10 lbs, and replaced lots of fat with muscle mass. Right now I’m looking at a 6’0 183lb self. And I bet you can guess… no girls came into my life for it. Well then I was convinced that the occasional zits or blemishes were the cause. I ordered some proactive acne solution, and I’ve been pretty much zit free for weeks now. I’ve went out to the mall with a ‘friend-girl’ fashion major, and spent about 500 dollars on some new clothes.

And after ALL OF THIS TIME AND EFFORT, I WRITE THIS TO YOU, WITH, YOU GUESSED… NO GIRLFRIEND. I’ve run out of things to fix. I don’t know now what to do, and frankly, it’s extremely, terribly, depressing. And I know that if I had came right out and told you “I’m depressed” that you would have assumed I’m some emotionally weak person, and I don’t think that I am. I have a great since of justice and truthfulness. I don’t lie to girls, I don’t treat ANYONE unfairly, and I fight to protect the ones I love such as family. I’m not poor, I’m not ugly, and yet, look at me… I’m a depressed loser, but with good reason don’t you think?

Answer 1

First of all you sound very insecure. A girl will pick up on that and not want to hang around you.

If you can't deal with things or your insecurities, just learn to mask them until you can deal with them.

And don't be on the prowl for women. That is a definite turn OFF. Example: When I was much younger, while playtesting console games at the local department store, a guy approached me and joined in the game play, and we chatted. He told me his life ambition was to get a girlfriend.
Now that is the kind of guy a girl will run away screaming from.

You said you have worked on yourself. But maybe for the wrong reasons. Just do what makes you happy and what will benefit you, and focus on yourself. When getting involved with other interests, you might meet another girl in the same group that will want to get to know you.

But when you do meet some girls that you like, ask them out to a cafe or a movie, and let them know that you are interested, but don't go overboard when flirting.

And don't go for the girl who flirts with everyone or is the attention wh0re. They are just tramps who get off on having power over guys, and they will go out with you only as long as it suits them.

The girls out there are also fed up with guys. And most are too shy to approach guys for whatever reason. Just be the person you want to be, and don't be afraid to be alone. If you are happy with yourself, that will come across as confidence, and then you will see that girls will take notice of you.

Answer 2

Omg I am going through the exact same thing literally so I feel ya.

All I know is that when it comes to wanting a girlfriend...it becomes real competitive. She'll have at least 3 guys to choose from: One could be 21, one could be 27, one could be 35, if she's 21, on average she'll choose the 25yr old (Usually girls want to date slightly older men, no more than 10 yrs older from what I heard). However the maturity level would dominate age factor.

It all depends if she's hot or popular enough that she knows ton of guys; she'll pick the best one out of the 10 or whatever. In the end It all comes down to luck IMO, maybe you'd meet a girl that doesn't know many guys and with less expectations. The early 20s suck *** IMO. In my experience it's either a high school sweet heart or a girl wanting a guy with a good job, a flawless sense of humor, fit, and all that perfect bullshit. Being nice, charming, some humor(not like a comedian like some want), and good manners should be enough, Jesus...

Some girls (18+yrs old) especially the hot ones just want the best of the best in a guy keeping the ones that haven't reached that phase behind.
If you ever encounter a girl who has a lot in common with you, seems shy, your age or slightly lower, and not an attention whore, don't let her go.
Increase your luck by going out more, be involved in social gatherings like church. Be confident, and pretend you're interested in her.

Answer 3

You don't really hope many will read all this, right? If this is how you approach chicks, you've explained it all. You need 2 things: self-confidence and a decent sense of humor (it's good that you have a SINCE of justice, but a SENSE of justice usually works better). Approach a girl you like, invite her for coffee, wine or some other junk and make her laugh 35% of the time and LISTEN TO HER the rest. And DO NOT EVER, EVER, whine - never even mention any of the stuff you wrote here. However, if you discover halfway through the date that the girl is horrible, then tell her some stuff from this letter to terminate her interest in you forever.

Answer 4

Wow you do sound angry. First if you are flirting with 17 or younger (your sister's friend) please be careful different states different laws. I have a 2 year old and at 17 I would not be to happy with a 21 year old in her life. My question for you is what kind of girl are you looking for? I'm not 5'10 blond and built,but my hubby and a few others think I am. Girls are just as awkward with guys when a guy flirts it can be kind of intimidating especially when your not looking for it. I had a crush on my hubby for 8 months before my friend told him I liked him (this was in high school) and he asked me out. Turns out we both kinda of liked each other but he was coming out of a relationship were his girlfriend at the time slept with his best friend so he decided no girls for awhile. Since your in school try joining any clubs your interested in. I not trying to sound dorky but if a girl got to know you over a period of time and then you went out for minor stuff (coffee, group activities, etc) she will probably feel more comfortable with you then. You said some of your sister's friend were interested that is probably because they got to know that your a good guy. DON'T GIVE UP.

Answer 5

Well, a couple of matters. One, why did you get her so younger. At a minimal you should not get a dog till eight weeks. 10 weeks is bigger. Why? Because they start to study approximately potty coaching from their mother. Two: have you ever afflicted to have her verified to make certain she does not have a UTI? Three: how are you cleansing up the messes? Use white distilled vinegar, soak the discipline, dab, soak once more, dab, allow dry. The vinegar is a common natural acid in an effort to "devour" the proteins within the waste and make it much less most likely for her to pee there. Four: what type of potty coaching have you ever performed to this factor? She's handiest four months historic - how lengthy are you ready among letting her out. Do you simply allow her out or do you're taking her out on a leash and watch for her to potty? You do not point out the potty coaching sporting activities that you've attempted to this factor. Five: if she is pottying in all places hte apartment, have you ever viewed crate coaching her - seeing that she absolutely can not be relied on within the apartment. I feel I want slightly extra information to be equipped to aid you extra.

Answer 6

Okay, so you've done all this stuff to "improve" yourself and it hasn't done any good right? Well you probably come off as really desperate and insecure right now. Girls respond to confidence. If a guy is confident then we're going to assume he has something to be confident about. You need to stop focusing on superficial changes and build your self confidence a little. I would stop trying so hard and also stop thinking about your lack of a girlfriend. Instead do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Join a club or get involved in a cause that you support. As you begin to build confidence you'll see improvements with girls.

Answer 7

you are obviously frustrated here- it always happens to be that way when you are not, like what they say, "getting any". but are you saying you would rather just about get "anyone" than a particular someone?

see, if you make of something the way it is, it will appear to be that way to you. everything that happens from now onwards will "support" your wall of reasons why girls just happen to have it easier than guys.

i beg your pardon. your views are way generalised. if i have to say anything about it, i would have said that guys have it easier than girls do. for what crook or nanny reason a guy may have to hook up with a girl, i realise the girl could be totally average; and yet the guy would still want her. i have guy friends who are very choosy; wanting the same types, the same outlooks on life, the same personality. and yet i do have guy friends who "take them as they come." guy friends who believe the more you "try and test", the better the chances of meeting the "Right One". whichever is your take., i am not sure.

why are you so burnt up about having no girlfriend yet? i assure you, that when the time do come, it will be a beautiful moment. now that you are actively seeking for it, you will NOT find it, i assure you that as well. i really suggest that you work on yourself first; work on your school stuffs, excel in everything you do, exercise, take up sports, learn new hobbies. just be a better person- FOR YOUR OWN SAKE.

When you are way too busy chasing your own dreams, you will bound to come across some semblance of love or relationships. its not as easy for us girls as you seem to "observe" or "Study" as it is.

Answer 8

Please...all this whining about not having a significant other? You sound like a girl. I hate to sound like this but you know what? You shouldn't have this attitude. You deserve better than this. The only time a woman or girl is going to be interested in you anyway is when you don't need her. And the second she doesn't need you anymore she's going to dump you. So what are you getting out of it anyway? Take up a hobby. That's what I did and it's working great.

Answer 9

Ummmm, actually, it's the other way around. With so many guys going gay, and with the population being 49 percent male and 51 percent female, Girls are having a hard time finding guys. Now if you go to China, then you're lucky to get a girl, cuz the girl boy ratio is all messed up there.

Answer 10

WOW u wrote alot but i read it all-
i think the contrary though guys have it easy u probably look amazing and girls (TRUST ME) would notice u, but what girls are u looking for are u looking for the OMI GOD DROP DEAD GORGEOUS GIRLS, or the average girls??
have u actually noticed the girls around u who knows that could be wearing sweats or bustin her *** to study? have u noticed the girls that might be ure lab partners or that girl who sits in front of u in a class??
HONESTLY have u noticed them? I BET U any of the girls i mentioned above have noticed ure changes and they want to go out with u, BUT MAN girls have LOTS of insecurities!!!
i notice the guys that have changed their appearence to get a gf, i have, but in the end i always end up becoming their friend. and honestly a good friend too i might add.
so instead of feeling desperate look at the girls that u are friends with and see what might happen if u look at them in a different light.
hope this helps, and actually both sexes have it HARD!!!!