Bad social skills or Social anxiety?

Question

Every time I meet someone or talk to anyone like stranger, or meet anyone I get so shy, I mumble, I forget what to say, I stumble on my words I get so self-conscious. I even have a hard time chatting online with people. You think I wouldn’t feel self-conscious chatting with someone online but I do. I don’t socialize outside of my family and don’t have friends. Do you think I have a mild form of social anxiety of horrible social skills?

Answer 1

I have the same problem, but I try to limit talking to anyone online though because thats just me. I know a lot of people tell me once you get out of high school you "break out of that shell".

I am going to get a job which requires customer service and social skills though, I think if I know I have to, I'll be able to build the skill of talking a lot.

If you mumble, or stutter, or stumble on the words when you talk to people just think before you say something because I know when I try to say something really fast and then I forget I always stumble on the words lol.

Hope this helps :)

Answer 2

I agree with some of the advice above, like from Chellee Dub (6th reply.) I would say, try some of these that make sense to you. But if you find yourself getting to a point where you can't stand it and you really need to get further in life, try to get a therapist, a counselor who treats social anxiety. At one point I admitted to myself that I couldn't overcome some of my obstacles on my own. So I found a therapist who turned out to be pretty great. I found that a number of my problems are connected, and when tough changes come up, we work on those. I am still working on stuff, but I am getting much further along. A few months from now, I will probably stop therapy and see what kind of progress I can do on my own...

Answer 3

I think you have social anxiety. I have it too...the best way to get over it is to just keep at it. Try to be yourself; don't try to be funny, smart, extra familiar with people you don't know well...just be you. And if you are quiet around new people, then so be it. Just try to stay loose and be you. It will get better. Please do not avoid situations that scare you. The anxiety will never go away on its own; you don't grow out of it. You have to overcome it.

Comments on other answers: I read that relaxation methods don't help you with social anxiety...so this may or may not work for you. I agree 100% on the customer service thing....that really, really helped me to be able to "fake it" with others...most people don't know how shy I am. The downside is that you fall into that customer service mode and you forget how to be yourself...so no one ever gets close and you are still left with no friends. Don't pressure yourself to speak just bc a conversation is going, and to balance that, never be afraid to speak up loud and clear when you do have something to say.

Answer 4

I would just say you need to relax. Anxiety is almost to the point of being a physical thing, social anxiety doesn't just make you self-conscious it makes almost lose control within yourself when your presented with a social situation. It's hard to explain but I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and anxiety can be debilitating

Answer 5

What do you mean a "mild" form of social anxiety? It sounds like the true blue thing to me. I have it too, but I don't act the same way, instead I put on my mean face so noone trie to talk to me, it works well. Any boyfriends I have had told me I was really hot in high school, but boys didn't talk to me because I had a "Don't talk to me or I'll rip you head off" face on. My advice: accept that you have social anxiety and move on from there. Drugs may help, but I've never had them so I don't know. Other then that, when you know that you are about to meet someone, try to say to yourself that you are not going to do the things you do and keep saying it to yourself during the encounter.

Answer 6

You might or you just might not have confidence.
You can work your way out of it. I did.

Pay attention to how other people communicate.
When I paid attention I realized that outgoing people made verbal mistakes and said stupid things all the time. But, they had the ability to laugh at their self. They also presented themself with confidence. They didn't let their voices come out soft and insecure. If they were talking to people and they couldn't get a word in edgewise they did it anyway.

Pay attention to them....then fake it until you make it.

If I coud pull out of my shyness you can. Oh, another thing is that I found out I had a learning disability and once I understood it I was able to overcome most of my fears.

People who know me now just can't imagine me shy .

You can make it.

Answer 7

Hi there, I just laugh about my past 3 years of panic now. I was not able to go anywhere without carrying xanax. Fear of having another attack was the most important subject of my days.When i first found joe barry's web site i started to cry because of my happiness.

Free audio to end anxiety and panic attacks fast?

Answer 8

Sounds like social anxiety. Meditation helped me with that. It helps me calm down. I also have depression so I'm on meds now for that and it also helps with social anxiety, but I would try meditation. It's much healthier than medication.

Answer 9

i think maybe you do. you just gotta relax and know that you dont always have to talk when youre around people other than your family. it's ok to be quiet sometimes, you shouldn't have to feel pressured to say anything at all. i know that's easier said than done, though. but just think relaxing thoughts when you're around other people and try to keep all of your muscles relaxed.