What's wrong with girls today?

Question

Alright, i know im preaching to the choir, but i face this cycle on a regular basis. I try so hard to be affectionate towards girls, complament them, be polite, offer things to them, open doors, smile... And ill tell you what, its all BULLSHIT!
I try to be a good guy, and the world takes a big **** on me. For example: i take this girl out, buy her a nice dinner, have a nice conversation with her, even watch this chick flick, (hated it) and i find out she's dating some dirt ball now who's been in trouble for drugs/theft. seriously, WTF is wrong with girls today? What they say want, and what they really want are so different...
Maybe i should be a ********? the thing is, ive tried playing the "Rude guy who doesn't care" and THAT DOEST WORK EITHER! i don't understand what im doing wrong!!!!
don't girls want a guy to appretiate them? be honest with & spend time with them? IM a decent guy, above average looks, and im in college with a job... so whats going on?

Answer 1

u r looking for the wrong girls...
and just be yourself rather than trying to be someone else
and remember that all girls are different, but that doesn't mean you change for them..
i found this somewhere, i didnt write it but i can highly relate to it, and so can many of the girls you are looking for....

To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and screw up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don't understand.

Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging.

Yet, men, I ask you: if were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, would you give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find?

Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express.

Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

Answer 2

Promiscuity is becoming more accepted as time goes on; the media seems to be helping that along. Girls on TV lie, cheat, hurt guys and turn on each other, so a lot of girls seem to think that's the way to go. It seems a lot of guys do it as well, though, so don't single out the girls.

Answer 3

the phrase that popped out was "try so hard"

there is this relationship theory in psychology called the equity theory. It states that in relationships there are the givers and the takers. Both parties have to be willing to put the same amount into a relationship for it to work. The only case where one person can give alot, and the other take alot and have it work out, is if both parties are ok with it.

Now you say you've tried to "be a' or "tried playing the" how about being yourself? Relax and be your genuine self and I bet that more people will accept you.

The "perfect girl won't just fall into your lap, it will take some time. Keep trying and don't get frustrated and just give it time.

Answer 4

Dear heart girls today are not like the NICE girls back then. I am so glad I am not a man! I would prob. stay single and I am not Gay so It can be rough trying to understand us huh. Most women or lets say like high school girls look for the problem unstable guy not the Normal ! Things have changed.it's not you . Just keep on doing the Right thing and in time you may have to look deep but you will find a Nice girl who is just right for you. What was once bad is now good what was good is now bad. Go figure.

Answer 5

Well first I would have to say that our oldest son, who also is a really great guy, is going through some similiar thoughts and things as you are. I have seen how good he is and how nice he is and it doesn't seem to get him anywhere. I think that girls nowadays first off have been taught to be independent, so they are waiting and can wait that much longer to have any kind of b/f or serious relationship. Secondly, I think that girls are much more aware of who they are and what they want nowadays, to the point where they are so picky, that they just keep waiting for MR. RIGHT! I don't think there is such a person, no perfect person is out there but there is more than one right person for every person out there. I would say that if you are happy with who you are, what you do, how you handle yourself, and you have your own group of friends, and things to do, then keep doing it! One day, that special somebody will be around and will appreciate who and how you are. Until then, just kick back and enjoy life! I also have a suggestion to maybe clean up your mouth as to me, that is a major turnoff for girls. I don't know if that is how you talk with them or around them, but you cursed at least four or five times in this one paragraph, ya know? Good luck to you!

Answer 6

Honestly man...give up trying to figure it out and just be urself..dont do anything out of the ordinary just be urself and they dont like you for that then they arent worth being with. Any girls who picks a wannabe "thug" over a college guy w/ a job isnt worth being around anyways...seriously its impossible to know what a girl really wants...im not the guy who does all those lil bs things for a girl (ex: me and a girl both sitting on couch watching tv, she asks me to get her something, i say no you have legs..not in a rude way just b/c)...i do this so they dont get comfortable w/ treating me as their slave rather than their BF. If she doesnt like it...it wont work...but in return I dont expect her to do those kind of things for me. Im independent and I dont want a girl who depends on me to do everything. Not saying you have to do this, but do whatever you feel, whoever you are be that person...itll happen eventually.

Answer 7

I think you might have a anger problem, lol Hell i dont know, Have tried just relax'n an being yourself a letting the girls come to you?? I mean that is crazy of that girl that took you out i mean her crack head boyfriend is prob' goin to rob you or something.. Most girls today use guys for there money or just act like they are to good for ya but **** them there no better than you are...

Answer 8

Maybe you should consider an alternate lifestyle. Just kidding, maybe you are trying too hard. Just be yourself, and don't tell them what a good catch you are, because that is what I am hearing you say in your question. Maybe you come across as arrogant or something. There are a lot of weird chicks out there, maybe you just haven't come across the right one yet. Be patient, it will happen.

Answer 9

You're just running into the wrong type of girls and that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. That's just life. However, eventually you will find someone who appreciates how well treat her and you as a person. Don't change who you are because of a few unappreciative girls. You are who you are and that's a good young man. You should be proud of that.

Answer 10

I've come to the conclusion that most people are stupid. You're probably a great guy.... and it's unfortunate that girls don't appreciate you for who you are. Anyway, I think good guys are a lot rarer that good girls, so you'll be alright.. there are millions of girls that are looking for a guy like you (and not all of them are shallow s****.) You probably don't want to be with a girl that likes the bad boy anyway.. they tend to have "issues."

Answer 11

You can't be that naieve, if you do, your just going to always be the free meal.

You might be that super nice guy, but eventhough girls complain they can never find one, they never completley want a nice guy, cause everyone has a thrill seeking side to them including girls.

You just gotta use your head though, other wise your gonna always be some chicks free dinner.