few days ago, we broke up because he insulted me like a ***** and said hurtful things on my dad. It all happened because I danced at my cousin's wedding, he hates when I danced. But I enjoyed dancing, and he just cannot bear it. Now we are living separately, and yet I cannot stop thinking about my love, he means my world, my life. I love him too much. Please can anyone help me about this????
2006-11-05 16:05:42 · 26 answers · asked by SHA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It was in my cousin's wedding. I was dancing among relatives, and that's all. Not once I danced with someone else. But for him, I was like a ***** doing everything to keep gus attention on me. But I didnt. He just cannot put in his mind that He is the one I really love and I do not need another guy. I know he loves me just like I do.
2006-11-05 16:23:24 · update #1
We can't help you but you can help yourself. Talk to him keep your communication lines open so you can talk about these small things that come up. This is to me a small thing too when bigger ones come up how are you going to handle them? Think about this. IS the dancing really a big issue to both of you if your now living apart because of it? Is it worth it?
2006-11-05 16:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by sammy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you love him but sometimes love can be more of an addiction to a person than an actual connection. If he is jealous when all you were doing was dancing with relatives, I would say he has some personal issues he needs to work out. That kind of possessiveness isn't a good sign of a healthy relationship. Maybe it's best that the two of you are taking time apart. I know it hurts now and that you are lonely - but it will get better with time. Hang in there.
2006-11-05 16:28:06 · answer #2 · answered by lisa_dahme 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Since you broke up you have a void in your life. This is because the time was previously spent with your bf. The reason for breaking up underlines some basic flaws in your relationship, where you love dancing and he does not. We all say bad things we regret when we are angry. You have to decide, should I go dancing again and find a new boyfriend or have a long hard think about patching things up and wait for the next crisis ?
2006-11-05 16:25:14 · answer #3 · answered by Daddybear 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What's happening here is that you love the "idea" of having a boyfriend. But not the boyfriend himself. Let me explain...
You cannot love someone who puts constraints on you, calls you names, and insults your dad (someone you love very much).
That you "danced" is a beautiful thing, and you SHOULD be able enjoy yourself. If this young man "loved" you, he wouldn't get jealous just because you dance. Instead (if he loved you) he'd tell you something along the lines of, "Honey, you're beautiful when you dance." He'd tell you, "I love you when you are YOU!". He'd simply not judge you for being yourself!
This young man has an insecurity problem a mile wide. That is something that should be avoided at all costs. He is not only immature, but jealous and controlling too. These are recipes for disaster, and COULD very well lead to physical abuse down the road.
Continue with your life, girl!!! Love yourSELF, and don't waste anymore time trying to put love into someone who doesn't deserve it. He is NOT a loving boyfriend, and does NOT deserve you!
The best thing that ever happened to you is that you are living away from this young man. Even though it hurts, my friend, you will recover from the pain, and realize that your life is free and it's YOURS to live...without being controlled!
Sit down and think about your own personality traits. Do you have a tendency toward going with controlling guys? Do you feel whole ONLY when with a man? Do you find that you cannot do things yourself and that you feel you NEED a man? Are you dependent on people? Is your mother dependent on your father?
These are all good questions to ask yourself. The answers may surprise you, and give you excellent insight into your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. If you look closely at yourSELF, you'll find patterns over time, and you'll be able to correct what is unhealthy.
I know you are strong, and can handle life without this young man. Let him live his life. You just move forward, keep your head held high, and empower yourself. Read good books, go for walks, enjoy time alone with yourself.
One day, you'll find a man who is a FRIEND to you first. He'll be someone who trusts and loves you...someone who looks at you and sees no one else...someone who respects you entirely...someone who wants you just as you are! And that's how real relationships develop!!!! You'll know it, my friend...believe me! You'll know!
Hope this helped!
2006-11-05 16:23:24 · answer #4 · answered by nitropit68 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your BF is very possessive.Everyone has his own way of acting and reacting.Nobody is allowed to insult you, or your dad!What does your dad have to do with this?
He likes to stress you out by saying things that put you down morally.I think that he has to see a psychologist!He definitely has a problem.I think he always insults you, even at the smallest mistake that you do.he is very insecure and by doing this he feels better because he thinks that you will be terrified to leave him.I don't think you love him!You just got used to him!This is not love.YOU are not anyone slave!!Why should you do everything that he says?If he tells you to sit you sit?If he tells you to go you go?What if one day he will tell you to do something that you hate the most?I think you are a very open person!You deserve so much better than him.It's hard lo let go but it's the best for you!!
2006-11-05 21:30:42 · answer #5 · answered by catallyna_06 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its very sad tht a couple has to break up bcos of such silly reasons.But your BF sounds very controlling, obsessive& abusive. If he truly loves u he wud have not stopped u from doing something tht u like & enjoy so much. Just think its 4 the best cos next time it could be something much more important to u then dancing tht he objects to.So, try get involved in other things, join dance classes, music etc.
2006-11-05 16:16:35 · answer #6 · answered by Heista 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What a horrible situation you're in. One the one hand he seems really posessive if he gets that angry about you dancing with your relatives! But then, if you love him, there's not a lot you can do but try to get back with him. Good luck!!
(oh and which idiot is thumbs-downing every answer?)
2006-11-05 18:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by Hannah 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is OK to miss your BF. It's just a fight, he'll be back in your arms in no time. But if you don't want him back move on there is lots of guys out there that like the same things you do. And like U for who you Are.don't wast your time on just One guy.
P.S. I hope it'll work out 4 the best.
2006-11-05 16:18:45 · answer #8 · answered by girlangel929 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should not be with anyone that cannot fully respect you and your family hes not worth it.....it can start with insults and lead to something more drastic in the future....if you still have feelings for the guy its normal and will not be easy but dont place yourself back in a situation where you will be treated less than he is and not respect you or give you the respect as a good woman deserves
2006-11-05 16:10:53 · answer #9 · answered by MR.E 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
welll u made a desicion which brings the two of you a break up.. During that time u think thats the best thing u can do.. but here it goes after all the insults that he made to ur dad u still love him.. and u can't deny about it huh!?
well for me, if he says really sorry for wat happened.. forgive him and give him a second chance.. but if thats not wat happened.. if he put a pride on him.. well just move on even if its the hardest thing to do.. remember that he is just a guy.. and u deserve someone much better than him.. who will respect u, accept u from being wat u are and wat u want and ur family as well..
2006-11-05 16:16:37 · answer #10 · answered by Maia 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋