I need advice on a situation that is upsetting me. I am engaged to a man who is in the army and was in Iraq for a year before we met. While he was there, he had a relationship with an engaged woman. After they came back to the U.S., she broke off the relationship and married her fiance. He tells me that he is over her and that I am the only woman in his life and that he's never loved anyone more than me. However, I recently came across one of his emails that told her that he had a dream about her and that she had set higher standards for him in meeting women and that he would rather be single than be with someone who was not appropriate for him and now he has met someone (meaning me). He wrote to her that I was a lot of things she was not, but that I wasn't a lot of things she was. I know that snooping in his email was wrong but I confronted him about it and he said that he was telling her that he was moving on and realizes that it was wrong to send it. Am I over-reacting?
2006-11-05 15:18:24 · 12 answers · asked by applecider 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have to say that he started dating me 8 months after their relationship broke off so I don't think I was a rebound. She was already married for 3 months when we started dating. He said after they broke up that he wasn't going to date anyone unless she was the right woman. He told me that he and the other woman had been in a war zone together and feelings can get much more intense in that situation but that he realizes it was more an infatuation than love. Does this make sense?
2006-11-05 15:43:33 · update #1
It would depend on the kind of relationship you have with him. Evidently it is not that strong if you are feeling so insecure. If he has not given you any reason to suspect otherwise, I would let it go. But if it is still bothering you, I wouldn't marry him until we settled the issue once and for all.
2006-11-05 15:22:14 · answer #1 · answered by Big mama 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he's having second thoughts. Why if he is so head over heals for you why is he emailing another woman/ Get rid of him.
Why is he even corresponding with her? She's getting married, and so is he. He might be trying to make her jealous. After they got back in the States, she went to her fiance, so that hurt him i think you're a rebound. Sorry, but you asked a question. That's how i see it, but then again I've been wrong before.. But not very often.
2006-11-05 23:31:28 · answer #2 · answered by garcia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Honey - be careful - it sounds like he never really let go or moved on. Similar situation happened to me that caused nothing but pain - ex boyfriend came back to me after 3 years to reignite the flame - except he had just gotten married 8 months previously. I sent him back to his wife. Neither one of us really moved on and it caused a lot of pain. Make sure he is the right one for you and that he loves you and respects you deeply.
2006-11-05 23:23:03 · answer #3 · answered by theotherwoman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're snooping around that already says U don't trust him, but if U accidently found the e-mail then U were in the right 2 confront him. If Ur already having thoughts of him being interested in some1 else then maybe it isn't time for marriage.
2006-11-05 23:23:44 · answer #4 · answered by ♥less 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lets face it, he is still hung up about the whole thing or he would not be writing her. What he should have done is tell her that the relationship between the two of them is over. Your private life is not her private life.
A good man would never kiss and tell.
2006-11-05 23:22:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Snooping in someone else's email is a bad way to start a relationship. If you cannot trust, then you shouldn't be together, especially not get married.
I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but take it from someone who is experienced in this... me.
2006-11-05 23:21:57 · answer #6 · answered by Pashta 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like he may have been hurt by this woman, and that he may have just had to tie up some loose ends with her, and let here kno that and that he is now happy (with you)
also, when you confronted him, did he get annoyed when you did.
if he did not, you most likely dont have too too much to worry about. if he did get quite angry, then you may want to do some more talking
keep your eyes and ears open a bit, but if i didnt get angry when you confronted him it doesnt sound like he is still in love with her he just needed closure.
2006-11-05 23:26:05 · answer #7 · answered by nicoles1504 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes Its over-reacting only. Once you will be together the love will definitely increase between both of you.
2006-11-05 23:23:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anu 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand why you are upset but it doesn't really seem like there is anything between the two of them. It does sound like he was just telling her that he is moving on with his life.
2006-11-05 23:22:51 · answer #9 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you are over reacting. This is the new problem created by "cheaters" program in TV. All are suspects.
2006-11-05 23:22:46 · answer #10 · answered by Rammohan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋