Please I need to have some answers!!!!!! I will appreciate any I get!?

Question

why would you ever molest a girl??Do you not realize it scars her for life. Can you all tell me why they do this to us??
every time my bf touches me (he is very understanding) I have flashbacksand remember what happened. Is this normal??Will it ever go away?? I feel bad cuz he is trying to help
I live in 60010. This goes to show you rich people don't get off easy.

(60010 is 1 of the wealthiest zips in the US.)
Would you ditch the girl cuz she didn't want sex??

Answer 1

OMG I am sooo sorry that this even happend to you. If he loves you or likes you, he will continue to understand. Seek Help, this will help you overcome alittle sooner. you will NEVER forget, you will learn to understand that not everyone is as SICK as whomever did this tragic act to you.

Answer 2

Arabella,

You are not alone. You are loveable and have special value as a person that has nothing at all to do with sex, no matter how your experience has made you feel.

The anger is natural. It is NOT your fault. You did not do anything to "ask for it", no matter what ANYONE says. Not all guys are like that, either. Counseling will help but is not a cure. A group of other girls who have been through similar experiences could be a good source of support and strength, and ideas how to deal.

Sex is not obligatory, (unless you want natural children of your own). You can have a good relationship if he cares enough to wait until you're ready, and to go to all the counseling, and be gentle with you, and if you love him enough and if he loves you enough. You may never be able to really enjoy sex, but you can learn to have joy and intimacy or you can have children in your marriage with the man you love. Be honest and upfront with him about it, and trust your instincts.

I know formerly abused people, (by the way, it can happen to boys too), who say they can still enjoy the joy, intimacy, love, and cuddling they share with their partners, even if they only "tolerate" the sex part.

Do not let him push you, and tell him to back off if he does. How he reacts to that will tell you a lot about wether or not you can trust him.

Try just holding each other for a long time, say an hour. Then make sure you both get up and go home. If everything is okay, try it for a little longer next time. Make sure neither of you expects to have sexual contact of any kind until both of you are ready. Communication is as important as comfort in these cases, because it takes two to make it more than just sex.

Best wishes in all you do,

Calico.Kitty

Answer 3

1 out of 4 females have either been raped or molested. The people who molest and rape are sometimes mentally ill. I remember seeing one guy on TV who talked about why he did it. His answer was that he felt unloved but kids can be very trusting and loving and he took advantage of that. Some may or may not realize what they are doing is mentally hurting the child. Either way it's very sad for the people who have to endure that.
I myself was molested as a kid and growing up it was hard to deal with. I blamed myself a lot for what happened not understanding I had nothing to blame myself for. People who molest know how to work kids to their advantage and that's where a lot of the mental damage lies.
It's nice that you have found an understanding boyfriend. You shouldn't feel bad because he is trying to "help". The fact of the matter is forcing yourself to go a long with it could make it worse. For some woman they can remain sexual with other people even after being molested. For some woman it's not that easy. What you need is to seek therapy. For many woman it can take years in therapy to get over being molested. There is nothing wrong with that. If you need that mental help then you need to get it and not feel bad about how your boyfriend might react. If he's truly understand he will back off and realize that what will help is therapy and not him touching you. I would suggest talking to him about it. Let him know that him touching you still make you uncomfortable and that isn't his fault and you are grateful he's tried to help you. However you want to seek professional help to get better so you can finally move on from it. Hopefully he will understand and if he doesn't then he wasn't that understanding. You need to make yourself better and not let others feeling get in the way of it right now.
Best of luck.

Answer 4

Being traumatized after this is completely normal.
you see, some people are just sick {mentally} and just pervs
it will go away with time, and if it doesn't go for therapy cause this is something really bad, i had a friend that after she got molested she turned anorexic and ended up in the hospital because she didn't tell any one what happened.
If anyone molests someone else it will scare them for life but the challenge for these people is to move on with their lives.
it doesn't change where you live if a pervert is there a pervert is there and you can report it but no one can really do anything about it.

and any one who ditches a girl because she doesn't want sex after a trauma like that is not understanding enough.
But sex is important in a relationship.

Answer 5

Your brain is like a net with different 'things' interconnected based on your idea as to what each one is. Each individuals idea of something is completely different although the conditioning of society seems to create sort of a baseline for some things.
For example: You will have an individual that has sex interconnected with pain, misery, and discomfort. For whatever reason, this individual obviously has a different idea as to what sex is, than the next individual. With the given associations, this person might find different things appealing during a sexual encounter. Example: He might like the resistance of a women, and he might enjoy torturing and raping a women.
This is just an in depth example. Now the good news is that YOU having these uncomfortable feelings during sex stuff can be changed. You might need "therapy" as some people say it, although usually shrinks pretty much suck and they just prescribe you a DRUG that is going to completely supress your symtptoms, thus never eliminating the root cause of the problem and keeping you addicted to prescription drug for the rest of your entire life.
The hard part is that things like this usually just dont go away over night. You need to 're-wire' your brain, so to speak, or at least something similar. Start by delving deeply into your spirit.
Or if you arent strong enough, go get some drugs.

Answer 6

well only a psycho selfish man would do ds to a girl. i'm sorry u have to go thru ds but u have n understanding bf who's trying 2 help u. u dont need to rush things. i know u'll work it out. in d mean time try to open ur mind n heart to where u r right now. dun live in ur past. u'll go nowhere

Answer 7

i am so sorry to hear that. u should accept ur boyfriend's effort to help u. i know its hard to forget something so traumatic but u have a long way in front of u. u have to move on.

report the case to the police if u must but accept that its in the past, u have to move on.

Answer 8

hmm have u thought of some therapy? it might help with flashbacks...and this has nothign to do with rich ppl. and if anyone wants to ditch you just cos you dont put out..then why would ever wanna be with such an asssshole?? if it's just sex...then they will ditch...avoid such people.

Answer 9

dont feel bad its not your fault. you didn't know it was gonna happen. just try to foget about it. life goes on. as long as you have your boyfriend to protect you and to understain you nothings gonna happen. just try to forget about it and get the best out of your life. remember what goes around comes around and payback is a b**ch. i bet you that right now that guy is paying the price for what he did to you. just try to 4get about and try to move on.

Answer 10

we dont all think like that. only little boys( mentally) that i would never dosomething like that. you need to be talking to someone about what you went through to deal with what you are going through. yes it is normal what you are going through. you have did nothing wrong.