Just this summer, I was the happiest woman alive. I was planning to be married by next summer. Suddenly, communication slumped. All he had to offer were empty promises and demands. When I expressed how I felt about all of it, he cut off all communication. There are people who have his new cell number, and he didn't offer it to me. He demanded that I leave my career, family, and everything I've worked toward behind and go whereever it is he wants to settle down, without any concrete plans. When I agreed, but said I need a few more months to tie up a few loose ends, he wasn't interested.
I'm wondering if this was a weak attempt at testing my love for him. Loving someone doesn't mean you have to be completely stupid. Am I wrong for asking for more time?
2006-11-05 14:34:43 · 31 answers · asked by *~*~*~~~His Angel~~~*~*~* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You didn't do anything wrong. From the way it sounds you are better off with out him. Thank god that this happened before you married him and not a few years down the road when you have a child or two by him.
2006-11-05 14:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You did nothing wrong, but he did. Any so-called "man" that makes demands like that on a woman he is supposed to love and respect has got some serious issues. There are probably more than a few skeletons hanging out in his closet, especially if he changed his number and didn't share the new one with you. He wasn't in it for love, he was just in it to see what he could get out of it. A solid relationship is a two way street of love, respect, honesty, open communication, compromise, and appreciation (among many, many other things). Let this guy go, you deserve a real man that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
2006-11-05 23:18:42 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Princess 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait, he acted so juvenile that when you confronted him about the problem he cut off all communication? What is he 13? 14? Sounds like he wants everything his way and when he wants it. You should really consider kicking him to the curb and saving yourself a lot of heartache. Tell him to come back after he grows up. You did nothing wrong by asking for more time. Best of luck.
2006-11-05 22:40:40 · answer #3 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Consider yourself lucky that the wedding was only in the plans... and that it didn't happen. This guy sounds controlling, flakey and emotionally immature. Cut your ties and get back into your life (career, family etc).. and do it sooner rather than later.
Lifes too short to have to bend over backwards for someone else. Give and take... but not give give give and ask around for a phone number.
2006-11-05 22:38:27 · answer #4 · answered by B L 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Sorry Sweetie,
Most men can be such " Class A Jerks" !
From what you have said, it seems as though he was trying to give you an ultimatum, "Do things his way, NOW, or else!
Does not sound like a healthy relationship you should be trying to hold on to. If he has already gotten a new number and not given it to you first thing! Then he has already moved on ! Sorry ! !!!!!!
2006-11-05 22:46:02 · answer #5 · answered by Lilac_lady 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds to me as if this guy may be a control freak. If this relationship hasn't yet, chances are that it may turn abusive. I would recommend that you run as fast as you can away from this type of man. Make yourself a mental note about the personality traits that first attracted you to him, in order to insure that you do not date this type of personality again. He has issues. You are better off without him.
2006-11-05 22:40:05 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, you are not wrong for asking for more time. He is wrong for not giving it to you. Consider that you had a narrow escape from someone who is not willing to consider your feelings and needs and who was all too eager to walk away when he didn't get his own way immediately. Find a grown-up to marry. That may be easier said than done, though.
2006-11-05 23:24:26 · answer #7 · answered by kathy s 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think he's made his wishes clear. I would not ask him for anything! Unfortunately, you are being misled terribly. He sounds dishonest and completely aloof. Maybe he just came down with a bad case of "cold feet" but I think really he's a weird duck! Could he be a married man???
2006-11-05 22:41:01 · answer #8 · answered by butterflylover 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Rearranging your life is a huge decision. Not giving you enough time is inconsiderate and disrepectful. He's definitely pulling away and I doubt it has anything to do with you. Maybe he's getting scared and pulling out of the relationship and wants you to end it before he does. You need to figure out if he still wants a relationship with you. Don't compromise yourself though, remember who you are and what you're about. If he doesn't want to be with you, that's his problem, not yours.
2006-11-05 22:40:12 · answer #9 · answered by Curly Q Diva 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not at all, honey. You did exactly the right thing. Marriage is a partnership, not a one-way street. If he won't even give you his cell phone number, then he is hiding a lot more than his dubious intentions. You should consider him one of those loose ends.
2006-11-05 22:38:28 · answer #10 · answered by Emm 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋