3 Yr Old Son Questions?

Question

Ok, I have a few issues, I'm guessing it's the terrible 3's I'm dealing w/ but I just wanna make sure. He will not potty on the toilet. I've tried bribbing, sitting there for several minutes at a time constantly and putting cheerios in there and telling him to aim for them..Nothing..He says pottying on the potty is nasty..Also, he has a horrible temper. Neither me or his dad has a bad temper, we are very calm when we get mad. He throws hissy fits like kicking his feet and throwing things. I do the time out thing, he gets to sit on his bed and hates it. For those for spanking, I have tried it, it does nothing. Can anyone give me some advice? I appreciate it.

Answer 1

Well, I also have a 3 yr old who had no interest in the potty. He would cry everytime it was time to try. He also has bowel movement issues. He does not like to go. at all lol.. But thats a total different issue. As far as peeing tho.. I recently started taking him to a private babysitter for a few hours 3 days a week while i work a part time job. Being around other kids his own age that use the potty and being told by someone other than mommy and daddy that diapers are for "babies" has helped immensely. I also used cars and trucks as my "bribery" tool for using the potty instead of the diaper. He got to pick out a new one out of the bag each time he peed. Now he knows that the bag is there for #2. He has been in real underwear for a week now with only one real accident and one small accident where he just didnt make it to the bathroom in time. I do think a lot of the other stuff you mentioned is the terrible 3's lol. He doesnt throw himself down and kick but the throwing of toys was one he tried on me. All i do is pick up whatever he threw and throw it in the garbage. I do this so that he can see me do it. When he started to cry all i said was "well you threw it, that tells me you dont want it anymore" lol I only had to throw things out twice and now he thinks twice before it leaves his hand. Good luck to you! Follow through with whatever you find that catches his attention. If he hates sitting on his bed than that might be your best bet. I use the couch with the tv off and i tell him he cant get down until he stops crying (b/c he usually starts as soon as i say get on the couch) It usually only takes a few minutes for him to calm down. Anyways .. Good Luck

Answer 2

You may possibly be dealing with multiple situations here. As far as the toilet training is comcerned, we had a huge long battle with our twins! In fact, they are almost 5 and the one twin is not night time trained yet. But what worked best for us was backing off for a while..we literally stopped trying for the winter months then started in the spring again. We put a potty outside while they were playing for them to trust in the fact they could actually STOP playing, use the poty and GO BACK to play! THIS worked very well.
For inside, we had them wear shirts that were a bit too long, and NOTHING on their bottom. THIS helped US identify their signs that they are needing to go and it helped THEM recognize that something was happening.
Children are in diapers from birth, it's like a security blanket, it's familiar, you take it away and you've possibly got a child dealing with insecurity, or confusion, or whatever.
At this point, easing off the training migt not be a terrible idea, and say things like, when you are ready, we will help you get ready.
As far as hissy fits, our youngest twin has them constantly everyday and the ONLY way we can deal with it putting him in his room, on his bed and walking away and shutting the door. He hates it! And he SCREAMS! But, we will not go back in the room until he is quiet. Once he is calm, we will tell him that screaming is NOT appropriate, and he looses a toy for a period of time. Hugs and reassurrances of love are given and we are okay until the next time. But we have to stay consistent.

Answer 3

Potty problems - drop it for a few weeks, he is not ready.

Tantrums - I had the same problem with my son, I just tried the reverse strategy (Only do this at home). I kept saying I could not understand him when he cried like that. And I would just calmly say that. If he was just screaming I would tell him to scream louder. After about the third time, he announced that the screaming gave him a headache and he stopped doing it.

For the crying and whining and I would tell him I did not understand him when he talked like that. Nothing else. I do not understand you when you talk like that. He stopped the whining and crying in no time. But the key was to respond immediately when the behavior stopped.

Spanking did not work with him. I tried it, when he kept walking out the front door of a house that we were cleaning up before we moved in. His response was I am not going to cry and I am not going to let it hurt! He was a tough kid.

Answer 4

My son has tantrums too but pottying my husband taught him and made it fun he threw cheerios in it and told him to hit them, and made it a game kind of, and it took a while to #2 on the potty , you said he thought it was yucky maybe get some clorox wipes and let him help you clean it. Tantrums are part of it, but don't give in be strong try to take his mind off of it by turning up the radio and dancing around and get him happy and when i did that my son would stop and want to play with me. Hope this helps good luck 3 is a trying and fun age.

Answer 5

No advice but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have a 3 year old boy that is going thru the same thing & I, too, am at a loss as to what to do for him. Timeouts don't work, spanking doesn't work. He has a really bad temper - I'm going to have him evaluated by a psychiatrist to make sure we don't have something really serious going on but in the meantime I'm stumped too. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

well i know how hard that can be ive just finished potty training a friends kid and the best way is really find something he really likes not like candy but something he really really likes and use that to get him to use the bathroom. most children will not go number two at first but they will go pee. as for the terrible 3's that is something that takes lots of tylenol and prayer.lol i think the best way to deal with that is not sllow him to do anything untill he behaves. my friends kid has the same problem. i make him tell me when he is done being naughty and then he gets up when he does it again i tell him nope u lied to me now u got to sit back down and dont move hopefully these things help. gl

Answer 7

Ingore his tantrums. Children throw tantrums for one reason--attention. When you put him in time out, that is giving him attention or in other words: letting him win.

If he throws a fit, just walk away and say nothing until he calms down. Addressing the tantrum shows him that fits are okay and that he can get attention when he throws them.


As for the potty training, I'd say stop training him for awhile. The more you push him, the more he'll regress. Just take a break from it for a couple weeks and then start up again.

When you start up again, take him to the store and let him pick out his own rewards. If he picks them out himself, he'll be more likely to want to use the potty to get them. Make sure he knows they are *only* for when he goes in the potty. Make sure if he does use the potty to give him lots of praise as well.

Answer 8

are there any friends that have a boy 1-2 years older than yours? if so they could help, providing your son likes them. A small tip on the time out thing, I think it is great, however you don't want to make his bed or bedroom a place he hates going to, maybe try to find a different spot. His hissy fits are just his way of finding out what he can and cannot do.

Answer 9

We have similar problems with our child. Some of it is trial and error. Each child is different. Spanking didn't work with our son until we did that associated with time in the corner. It's a fight to keep him in the corner. He gets repremanded for fighting back. He acts like we're doing something terrible, but he's just mad.
When you find what works, be consistent. He cannot win. If he wins, you lose. It's that simple and that difficult. His time in the corner has varied from five minutes to 45 minutes. He doesn't get to leave until he stops fighting and stays put a little while. In other words, he doesn't get to leave the corner until we win. ANYTHING else is a win for him.
You'll just have to keep looking and trying until you find something that works for you.
Try Dr. Dobson's book, "The Strong Willed Child".

Answer 10

i feel your pain-- i have 3-yr-old twins. one is trained, and has been for over a year, the other could care less. i have started taking him to the potty every hour (can't say it has started working yet, its been almost a week)
he doesn't care that his brother is a "big boy", that he wears "baby" diapers, he won't take bribes, and i have to physically hold him at the toilet when i take him.

oh--this may be helpful--if you are using a potty, try using the toilet. and you could try to get your husband to show him how to do it. that helped with the first one!

good luck!