girl turned 18,was honor student,now says she don;t have to do stuff for school now shes 18 .What can I do?

Question

I'm desperate here I've pleaded,nagged left her alone,gave ultimations,even argued w/ her.she is skipping school,she never done this before she got with this boyfriend (1st one ever)now she is on probation w/school almost to lose her chance to graduate w/her class.losing credits from lack of participation.I've got a fortu ne wrapped up in sat tests act tests,college applications,scholarship finders. What can I do ?Just watch her ruin her life?Her father isn't in her life,she wont listen to me.I called the school,guidence is very upset with her. Talked to the boys mom & dad ,he's doing the same.Co-workers say kick her out &let her see what the REAL world is.But that will mess up her chance to go college & even finish school. Is there anyone out there in INDIANA (agency)that can put their heads on right??!!I'm petrified, this is a chance of a lifetime.I wish I could just send them both to bootcamp-but she's 18-now.Is there no intervention out there for kids like this?????PLEASE TELL ME

Answer 1

She is eighteen and legally an adult but that doesn't mean she has no responsibilities while still living at home. Explain to her that if she wants to continue to live at home then she must attend school, get good grades, do her homework, have a curfew, etc. If not then give her thirty days to get a job and an apartment. She will most likely call your bluff thinking you would never put her out but on day thirty but you have to do it. Change the locks and be strong when cries and begs to come back home. Whatever you do do not give in!. She'll be alright after a while and this is probably the best lesson she will receive in her life. Good luck.

Answer 2

When i was 18 i thought i knew everything and i made big mistakes such as quitting school my senior year back in 95, i left home and i just started sliding downward. I finally realized i was being stupid and my parents were right and i got back on track after 4 years and ended up graduating college. Don't argue with her. Don't pressure her. The more you argue with her the more she is gonna rebell. I pray she wakes up and dont pass up her opportunity to make something of herself. I honestly feel this boy is having some influence on her. If you forbid him to come over she will find a way of seeing him regardless. I have not become a mother yet therefore I can not really give you the best advice, I can only relate to her behavior and tell you what's making her act more rebellious.

Answer 3

If you can't make a phone call, you aren't ready to date yet--work on talking with girls and quit putting so much pressure on yourself. She probably wants you to call, and will think you are a jerk if you don't. So call her up--do you think she really cares what you two talk about? It isn't against the law unless you have some kind of sex, and I am sure you don't know how to get her to do that--so have some fun going on dates and hanging out. Do try to meet her parents soon though--they don't want to keep hearing about this 18 year old dating their daughter if they have no idea whether you are a good guy or not.

Answer 4

well i mean what have you got to lose..you need to sit her down and tell her..how do you expect to be an adult if you can't act like one...i mean i'm 18 and sometimes it wears you out but i still do it... hold on oh she's still in high school....ok you need to cut her off from that boy..which is hard to do but you should ask her where she sees herself in the next 10 years...and how much money will she be making...not even with a high school diploma can you really make a descent living...but if she keeps acting you do need to kick her out for a bit..tell her to go live with her boyfriend and see how that goes!!! i know you say that will mess up her chances of getting into college but isn't she doing that already right now!? i know its hard to do..but its also harder to just standby and watch a perfectly good/smart person mess up they're life!!! good luck!

Answer 5

Theres nothing you can do. I know its not what you want to hear, but its true. Ask her to consider where she sees herself in 10 years, because education is necessary for work. Make a deal -- if she finishes high school well she can do whatever she wants. I'm pretty sure taking a couple years off wouldnt hurt her chances of getting into college.

Answer 6

At eighteen, I had two choices. 1) Get married to my boyfriend and live together married and pay our bills 2) Go to college and live with my parents and also work to support myself (other than rent) and my college bills.
Both choices are choices, but they did not say I could just live there and mill around with my boyfriend. It should not be an option to drop out and live for free and someone else's expense. This is not good for her because she stills needs help in starting her life as an adult. Adults have to learn these things to survive.

Answer 7

When all else fails, pray. I know it sounds like a stupid thing to do but, mate, youre desperate and God works wonderfully in desperate times (esp desperate times). Trust me, mate. I had a friend who wanted to committ suicide because a lassy broke up with her. Her mother wasn't a real mother and her father died last night. I prayed everyday for her to stay alive. I cried for her. It was that bad!! The next day she came to me and cried saying that she couldn't leave the ones she loved behind in a selfish act. So, just pray, mate. Pray and everything will work out fine. You'll see.

Answer 8

unfortunately there is nothing much you can do, but try to reason with her. She's 18 and legally can do whatever she wants. Maybe she is hanging out this boy just because you don't want her to. a lot of kids do things just because their parents are so against it and trying to stop them. whatever happens good luck. ask her where she wants to be in 5 yrs. working at Mcdonalds with no education?

Answer 9

I agree with maxy..I have a 19 and 21 yr old and as long as they live with me my rules are enforced...Ant they dont agree with them until they see what there choices are.Hope that drugs are not involved but I would look into that. If they dont go to school they work and pay..nothing in life is free make them learn it now..
Shes 18 and the FREE ride is OVER................................
Put your foot down now. Best of luck to you.

Answer 10

Tell her that if she is not going to go to school she has to get a full-time job with benefits and pay you rent. Tell her that since she is not going to school that she is not going to be covered by your health insurance anymore. Tough-love has saved a lot of kids from going down the wrong path.