Seriously, after you have been with a GUY for a WHile do they ALL...??

Question

Turn into jerks who want their way or no way at all? Does it always have to become all about them? If you ask them to do something they don't - but if they ask you to do something you must or he gets insanely mad? I am in my 3rd long term relationship and all men seem to turn out this way. Like we girls have to walk on eggshells around these men who have to have everything go their way or they freak out?! - I want to get married and have kids. I'm not getting any younger. But these guys are so immature. I am coming to the conclusion that men don't really have the capacity to love another human - they can only love themselves and look out for numero uno. They are selfish immature brats.

Answer 1

I would have to agree with u the problem with men is they never grow up.

Answer 2

Well, without giving specific details, it's hard to tell what the problem is. Maybe you have just had bad luck finding good guys...which could be the case. But if 3 out of 3 relationships have had a guy suddenly turning into a jerk, it might be something you are doing (or not doing). If you want to learn a bit more about the male mind and what women have done to successfully work with it, read the book The Rules.

I myself do like to take the lead. Basically it is my way or the highway...but my way also works out for her as well. You should ask yourself if you want to lead, or to be led. And work on figuring out what kind of guy will accomodate your desires, and how to get along well together once you find him.

If no one is leading in the relationship, if no one wears the pants, then there is going to be a lot of friction and tension and uncertainty, and the relationship will eventually collapse.

Answer 3

Being a man I can talk from that view point. No, not all men are like that. It sounds perhaps you have not set your standards high enough, and in doing so, you seem to have been taking what comes along.

My question to you is; How do you treat him?
Are you a "high maintenance" type person?

Men in general are not impressed with a "bossy" partner, but instead want someone who is willing to treat them like you would like to be treated. Sit down with him and find out what is happening that makes him explode. It maybe something very simple. At least you will have a starting point to work from.

Marriage isn't a "ownership" of another person but rather a life long partnership in which each works with the other to enjoy a better life for both. Saying this; it is wise to remember that not everything will be agreed on, and at times each will have to encourage the other.

Answer 4

Time is the answer... and as a man...i have to disagree that we are ALL brats and self-centered.
like some women we also like to be pampered and thought of all the time, for most men and women we do and will grow out of this stage, if they do not then it is up to you whether you want to continue with the relationship.
to say that ALL men are jerks is not kool and you probably did not mean it that way.....so i will ignore that one...hahaha
enjoy and go slow...there is no rush to settle down and have kids just yet is there?

Answer 5

Gurl, you have to put you first at some point in time. He is being inconsiderate of others and self centered. Don't allow him to make you feel like that. He knows what is is doing and you can not allow him to do that which is bring down your self esteem and be submissive to him. This is 2006 and you have to leave this mess. There are some good men out there. You will tend to pick the same kind of men, therefore you have to go outside of what you would normally date. Good luck.

Answer 6

Did it occur to you that you are attracted to a certain type of guy? A guy who is prone to doing this? Maybe it's because someone in your past did that or you don't feel worthy or something. You could try therapy to discuss your relationships and help unravel the common threads in all of them. When you know that, you will probably know the why and then maybe next time you will pick a more mature guy.

Answer 7

Well um your right with some guys, ok most. But there are some out there that know what they want. I was that same way and I lost my wife. I basically forced her to leave, but I didn't mean to. Guys are liek this a lot til we loose something we really like and want. Now I am doing everything to get my wife back including giving her space. Try going to counseling with him. That might help. Otherwise leave him and see how he reacts, but not jsut for a week it took me a month to realize how bad I wanted my wife. I blamed her for leaving at first. but now I know it was my fault.

Answer 8

there not all like that, some men like my self are able to supress the anger, it comes from wanting sex all the time.

if you find they get angry a lot a good thing to do is take them somewhere they can burn of the engergy, some outdoors like rock climbin or cycleing, get someone that they will have trouble keeping up with you should find that will help with the anger a lot.

i think somone once told me its comes from us needing to hunt for food or something, but i find when im mad, going running or cycling helps calm me down a lot.

good luck

Answer 9

I am beginning to think the same thing but i hope for me and you that there are some good nice men out there good luck in your search .and if he insist on treating you like a dog honey just leave him because it only gets worse when you have kids . trust me!!!!!

Answer 10

Hahaha, thanks for the compliment! ;)

I don't know, maybe those guys were jerks in the first place? Maybe they just put on an act initially. I hope so, anyway. I'd rather die than be a jerk to the one I love.

What sorts of things are you asking them to do, and what sorts of things are they asking you to do?