I'm having a hard time trusting my fiance?

Question

My wedding date was set for the 18th of November. We have all the details in order. We have a few more things to pay for. My fiance wants to push back the date. He says that the money is too tight and we have our regular bills to pay. I say that we will alwyas have bills to pay so it doesen't make a difference if we do it now or later. So he says that we should wait or go to the court house. But I want to have a wedding. I do love him and I want to marry him I just don't want to be waiting for him to get him self together. Now here it is two weeks before the wedding and he says that we don't have enough money. I wonder if that is the real reason. Now I'm afraid if I wait that he is going to do the same thing again if we set another date.

Answer 1

Reset the date and go from there.
Marriage is supposidly a one time thing. Perhaps he wants it to be a perfect (in his own eyes) as possible. If he feels that a shortage of funding may hamper the celebration, give him the benefit of the doubt.
I'd try it.
We always have bills but we only marry once, no?

Answer 2

I think you guys need to sit down and talk about it. It sounds like he may be having "cold feet", but not in the sense that he doesn't want to marry you. It could be a lot of things, since he said it's about the money, I bet that plays a part, but he may be worried about the whole big production of it all. It could be something else as well. Just sit down with him and tell him you love him and you want to work it out, and you'd like to know if it's just the money or if something else is bothering him. If he tells you it's something else besides the money, you'll have to try to work together to figure it out. If it turns out it's just the money, then sit down and figure out your finances together. It will be lots of money down the drain if you reschedule, so make sure to take that into consideration. Maybe you could ask relatives to help out, or for a loan that you can pay back for these last few things.

Sometimes, it's tough to talk about things, especially things that can be emotional. I've found that it's easier to not make eye contact, and a good way to do this is maybe sitting together on the couch and leaning against him, so you're in contact and feel close, but don't have to look at each other while you're talking.

The only way you can find out the real reason behind his hesitation is to ask him! Communication in a relationship is the most important thing!

Good luck! I hope you get everything straightened out!

Answer 3

This close to the wedding, you should have the majority of the large things paid for. There should only be last minute little things left, so I don't understand his reasoning. Also, being this close you might lose money if you canceled the hall. I would sit down and find out the REAL reason, because it sure as rain IS NOT the money. If I was in your position and he didn't give me a good reason, I'd kick him to the curb and find someone who's honest. OK, I'd lose money on the deal, but I would at least be rid of someone who doesn't have the common decency to be honest with me.

Answer 4

If your fiance is willing to compromise by suggesting the courthouse then why won't you go there. You can still have the reception, but look at ways you can cut the cost, maybe you can do your own decorating and have some friends or family members to help with decorating where you decide to have reception. look around on the internet, for other ways of having a nice elegant wedding, but at a cost so you can stay within a budget that you both approve of. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

well, you are his fiancee, don't you KNOW whether the finances are tight or not? Look into it and see if he's lying or not, sometimes it is just smarter to wait when everything is 'right'. And if you think that he's making up an excuse then you should go with your feelings. Has he gotten cold feet before? what about your guests? if he's willing to put off the wedding for a bit then he should call all the guests. also, you made the statement that you can't wait for him to get his self together, but you SHOULD wait for him to be sure that this is something that he wants to do and not force hoim into it

Answer 6

A man with cold feet would not have suggested the courthouse. Try to look beyond your disappointment about not having your "dream wedding" - if he is right about the bills and he still wants to get married on that day, maybe it's not a bad compromise. This is about your marriage, not your wedding. Why start with a power struggle?

Answer 7

Eeeks that is hard.... but isn't it too late to call the wedding off.... haven't you sent out invitations, paid for the hall, food, dress, bridesmaid dresses pretty much EVERYTHING not having the wedding is not an option uless you break up... don't move it back and let him know that moving it back would make you guys loose more money than if you just stick with it.... you need to talk to your fiance,,, maybe there is something else he is trying to tell you besides money problems.

Answer 8

Well he offered the court house so I think the moeny is the real issue. I wanted to give my wife a wedding but we ended up at the court house. We kind of rushed into it. Sit him down and really talk to him and have him explain to you why he thinks the money is too tight. I think he really does want to marry you but hes unsure about the moeny at the moment. Court houses arn't good, she left me because of my actions. So avoid the court house bad luck comes from it.

Answer 9

check it out baby girl...he's doing the right thing by telling you he dont want to go broke over a wedding. he never said he wouldn't marry you, he only said that the wedding may cost to much for right now and it can hurt yall in the future. also u can always have a wedding a year from now or so......think about it

Answer 10

Point out that it will be more expensive to push back the wedding. You are already out for the invites and most vendors will not reimburse you this close to the date. Might as well just go through with it.