Should I tell my mom about her husband's secret children?

Question

I found out this morning that my step dad (married to my mom for 3 years) has two other kids in New York that he has been keeping a secret.

I saw a post on Answers the other day that had a link to http://background-records.net/ Well, I was bored this weekend so I started checking it out. I entered various names and when I entered my step dad's name it listed a group of family names (including my mom, my sister, and myself). There were several other names listed that I was not familiar with. After checking the birth records on the site I discovered that my step dad is their father! The other kids are 12 and 14.

I am positive that my mom does not know this info. I am afraid she will be heart broken. Should I tell her or just pretend like nothing happened? I really don't know what to do.

Answer 1

Well that depends, what you did was a breach of privacy, but I know more than anything what you can do when you are bored. That does not make it right, but if you feel very strongly that your family needs to talk about it, then I would bring it up while everyone is there. Ask for a family meeting and talk about it. Don't do it behind your step-Dad's back though. That might cause more problems than it is worth.

Answer 2

well what i think is u should say something to ur step dad and if he has not told ur mom then he needs to and if he doesn't then u should tell her. it's not good to have this kept from ur mom. they need to b more open!!

Answer 3

Tell him that you are going to tell her, but give him the option to do it first. He should be paying their mom child support, which makes his wife (your mom) legally responsible for that, too.

Sticky situation, but you need to let your mom know ASAP.

Answer 4

Tell your mom what you found out. Show her where you found it. You are her daughter u owe it to her. Wouldn't u wanna know?

Answer 5

Not that I am calling you a liar, but I went to that same site and it charges $39.95 for a search. So how were you bored enough that you were willing to pay that kind of money to search "various names" as well as your stepdad?

Answer 6

welli think u should tell your mom i think she has the rite to know her husband has otha kids
just say if that was u would u want to no

Answer 7

i think u should tell her because this is something serious and u need proof 2 she would thank u in the long run.

Answer 8

if it's going to absolutely cause too much emotional pain, then no. But if you think everyone can handle it, then yes. I would urge you to do it if possible.

Answer 9

well it depends if its going to break her heart then no but hey maybe she does need to know. I mean if its because he cheated on her then mayb you should.

Answer 10

I recommend staying out of it.