Do I tell my mom about my step dad's secret kids?

Question

I found out this morning that my step dad (married to my mom for 3 years) has two other kids in New York that he has been keeping a secret.

I saw a post on Answers the other day that had a link to http://background-records.net/ Well, I was bored this weekend so I started checking it out. I entered various names and when I entered my step dad's name it listed a group of family names (including my mom, my sister, and myself). There were several other names listed that I was not familiar with. After checking the birth records on the site I discovered that my step dad is their father! The other kids are 12 and 14.

I am positive that my mom does not know this info. I am afraid she will be heart broken. Should I tell her or just pretend like nothing happened? I really don't know what to do.

Answer 1

Stop snopping.............how would you feel if someone did that to you. It's his business, and who knows..........maybe your Mom is aware of it, but, it's between them........~~

Answer 2

If you think it will break her heart that your step-father has not told your mother and that her knowing will negatively effect her, then I don't think you should say anything. It sounds as if this was a marriage that ended before your parents married. Maybe his memories of it are very painful and to talk about it could be hurtful to him.
On the other hand, his not telling her seems deceptive. Take a good look at your step-dad. Does he treat your Mom well. How does he treat you? If he's a good husband to your mother and a good step-dad to you, I don't think you should say anything.
Perhaps his ex-wife wouldn't let him near the children after the divorce. You don't know the circumstances.
This is a hard choice to make. Try to look at the whole picture objectively.

Answer 3

Well who's feelings are more important ur mom's or ur step dad's.

But is it possible she may already know and she just doesn't talk about it

U should have a talk with ur step dad 1st and see where this is all about then ater that u should tell ur mom, she has a right to know( it's like founding out u have a half brother or sister) u need to know because it's ur right to know.

I dont know why he's keeping it from her but there is a reason u
found out so now it's up to u as her blood to found out why he's keeping it from her, give hima chance to explain than after that let know that if he doesn't tell ur gonna tell because she's ur mom and blood is thicker the water( he should know)

Good Luck

I hope everthings turns out alright, keeping secerts like that is NO GOOD

Answer 4

Thats a tough question. I would want to stay out of it. You don't want to make yourself responsible for breaking your mothers heart or their marriage. But, on the other hand, If it were me in the marriage and found out that someone close to me kept something like this a secret I would be very upset. So I guess you have to weigh the pros and cons. If you are close to your mother, you probably will feel guilty knowing this secret and not telling her. Is their marriage happy? If they have a happy marriage there should be nothing to hide, and they would be able to work this out. If you do tell your mother be prepared for 'a bumpy ride'. There's a saying 'for every rat you see there are 50 more you don't' He probably has other secrets as well. I hope you make the right decision, and GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

Tell her! It may hurt her, but he is wrong for not telling her in the 1st place. Make sure this imformation is correct 1st though. Maybe talk 2 ur step-dad.
Good Luck!! :-)

Answer 6

its a sticky spot to be in. thats your mom. your dad has betrayed the family . confront your dad first. ask for the truth. ask him to tell your mom. if he refuses, maybe you should tell her. the truth always reveals itself

Answer 7

No, it's a secret!

Answer 8

how do you know she doesn't know and if you are sure she doesn't know, tell her what you know

Answer 9

Confront him 1st and see wat he says