My step dad kept his other children a secret. Do I tell my mom?

Question

I found out this morning that my step dad (married to my mom for 3 years) has two other kids in New York that he has been keeping a secret.

I saw a post on Answers the other day that had a link to http://background-records.net/ Well, I was bored this weekend so I started checking it out. I entered various names and when I entered my step dad's name it listed a group of family names (including my mom, my sister, and myself). There were several other names listed that I was not familiar with. After checking the birth records on the site I discovered that my step dad is their father! The other kids are 12 and 14.

I am positive that my mom does not know this info. I am afraid she will be heart broken. Should I tell her or just pretend like nothing happened? I really don't know what to do.

Answer 1

You need to tell your mother, she has every right to know and this man should be ashamed of himself. He is suppose to love your mother yet he kept such a big secret from her, it honestly sounds to me like he is ashamed of his kids I mean what kind of loving father keeps his kids a secret

Answer 2

Maybe you should talk to your step father before you do anything rash. He may have a very good reason for not wanting to disclose this information. If you tell your Mom about this before knowing all the facts you risk the chance of hurting her more than if you let your step dad explain his side of the story. You never know, she may already know and is respecting your step Dad's wishes to keep it between the two of them. God be with you.

Answer 3

Know that you're putting yourself in a serious situation by telling if you do. But how could you walk around knowing and not tell her? You'd be conspiring with your stepdad if you didn't tell, after all, you'd be keeping the secret too. Tell her you found something you want her to see, then let her see the info you found, that way it speaks for itself.

Answer 4

MYOB. Your step father may have a reason he doesn't want her to know OR she might know...since you obviously don't know EVERYTHING that goes on with your mother and step father this might very well be something she already knows but has chosen not to disclose to YOU. I suggest you keep your mouth shut about what you think you know. If you want to "tell" anyone of your discovery I suggest a very discreet conversation with your step father.

Answer 5

well what i think is u should say something to ur step dad and if he has not told ur mom then he needs to and if he doesn't then u should tell her. it's not good to have this kept from ur mom. they need to b more open!!

Answer 6

Don't believe anything that you see on the internet until you know for sure. I would take your step-dad aside and talk to him first to see if the info is accurate. If it is maybe his ex-wife doesn't let him see them for some reason and maybe your mom already knows and decided not to say anything.

Answer 7

If you tell your mom not only will you be making her unhappy but your stepdad will hate you. Stick your nose back on your face where it belongs!! Are these kids hurting your family? Leave well enough alone and worry about things that affect you directly.

Answer 8

hmmm.. Thats a tough one.. I would probaly just leave it alone. Chances are Your Mom Knows, but just didnt share the info with you... I would but out.. if your mom dosent know, theres no need for yu to go and rain on her parade.. if she does know, she must be alright with it... If you must say anything, you should talk to your step-dad.. and see what he has to say about it...

Answer 9

Ouch!! Are you close enough with your step dad to confront him? Ask him about what you saw? It might be better to have him approach your mother with it then for you to just step in. Maybe you could have your mother "find it on her own."

Answer 10

Please double check with your step dad first. It would be horrible if this was not true and you told your mum. If it is true then your mum has a right to know and her husband should tell her. If he won't then you should.