I have a wonderful beautiful stepdaughter whom I love very much and am very close to although more like her friend then a parent, she is into drinking and boys very heavily and plans to move out of her mothers home at 16, my husband is a rotten dad to her, he pretty much ignores her existence and we fight about it lots, her mother chases men around and drinks and buys her booze, how can I help this child become the wonderful woman I know she will be? I have fought with her about it but she just stops talking to me and I don't want that, my husband will never wake up about it, any suggestions?
2006-11-05 10:18:06 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I should have also said that I have reported her mother to child protection services but to no avail, eveytime they go out there everything is all cleaned up and looks good to them.
2006-11-05 11:45:37 · update #1
She is already living the example that was given to her by her mother. You may not be able to disuade her from many bad decisions, they are after all, her choices. The very best you could do for this young lady is be a very caring and available adult. Trying to control her at this point will more than likely drive her away. Talk to her openly, but without judgement. Make your conversations thought provoking, encourage her to answer and solve her own issues with you.
2006-11-05 10:24:42 · answer #1 · answered by frogsandweeniedogs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry about your situation with your stepdaughter, but if her mother runs around and her dad doesn't care, the most important people who should care about her life, then she will be in the path to destruction no matter what you say. Kids like that have to grow up and fall on their behinds really hard in order to wake up and smell the roses. Hopefully she will be the kind to wake up and learn from her mistakes, hopefully it won't be in the way that she will have a sexually transmitted disease or scerosis of the liver. Just keep being nice to her and be there when she falls.
2006-11-05 10:23:23 · answer #2 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR HUSBAND HAS TO WAKE UP, he is the reason she is doing this. She is seeking male attention. Maybe if he would realize this then he could help her. Just make sure she knows you love her and will always be there for her no matter what. She is going to do this until she get attn from dad and you need to be there for her. she is gonna do what she sees and wants. no her mom isnt being any help but stay in touch with her and let her know she has someone. She probably feels like noone loves her because of the way her mom and dad are to her. But please make your husband wake up and tell him she is craving male attn that he is not showing her. Believe me I know this cause I never had my dad around and thats the way I was. I also ended up in a bad marriage because again seeking that male attn.
2006-11-05 10:25:21 · answer #3 · answered by bradosmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...good for you! This is a very tough spot for you to be in but I commend you for stepping up to the plate here. The one to work on here I would think, would be your husband. Keep talking to him about his daughter. I hate to say it, but become the biggest nagging wife that you can on this issue. If you and him can get on the same page with this maybe it might help. His daughter needs to feel his love for her, and if he is ignoring things that are going on in her life, that is just showing her he don't give a crap. Also, maybe you can go pick her up more often and show her things like how to be successful in life and plan on going to college and stuff like this. If you are her friend, that is great, but as her friend you need to show her things she isn't being able to see because of her mom and dad. Good luck, and don't give up!!
2006-11-05 10:27:01 · answer #4 · answered by Corona 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice and commendable that you're willing to help this girl. She certainly needs the help. It's hard to believe her Mother, and Dad have given up on her. She needs some structure in her life, and discipline. My heart really aches for you, because you're not getting support from your husband, so hon, I really don't know what kind of advice to give, except, keep trying to reach her. Don't give up on her, she may wake up, and thank you someday. Good luck, you are one special step Mom ~~~
2006-11-05 10:23:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would start out by reporting her mother to c.p.s. because as long as her mother is getting away with giving her booze nothing your going to say or do is going to make a difference and she could be getting abused physically as well in Texas if we do not report something like that we can be charged with child endangerment
2006-11-05 10:26:01 · answer #6 · answered by tommysbabydoll@sbcglobal.net 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep her interested in fabulous thing she LOVES to do like community work or something else similar to that. She hopefully will find out how fun it is to be a good person!
2006-11-05 10:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by cjm 3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she needs a positive influence in her life. You should be that influence. You have a close relationship with her? Use that advantage to help her.
2006-11-05 11:04:10 · answer #8 · answered by manoshopefully 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first get rid of your man,second all you can do is be her friend and offer her advice when she ask,if you were a leagal guardian then you might have a little more to say about her upbringing but as it stands you dont have much say in her life
2006-11-05 10:23:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a stepdaughter and i would like to be comforted at a time like that
2006-11-05 10:22:26 · answer #10 · answered by blazepippiblazepippiblaze 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋