How can I get my kids to listen to me? HELP! They are out of control.?

Question

My two girls ages 8 and 6 are so wild. I feel like the worst parent. I try to teach them the right things, and be a good parent, but it seems like no matter what I do they do not pay any attention to me when I tell them to do something, or settle down. I finally get their attention and they say ok, and then just go right back to the same thing they were doing as if they were just saying ok to shut me up. I'm so sick of it. I'm the parent and I should have control of the situation, but it's gotten so far out of hand that I don't know how to handle it anymore. HELP!!! I almost feel like it's even harder because there are 2 of them and one of me. They just laugh if they get in trouble. They share a room so I can't really tell them to go to their room and I need to have them somewhere seperated where they are away from me so I can cool off before I talk to them. I get so upset that I just want to scream at them and I know that wouldn't help the situation any.

Answer 1

Jamie~ Sounds like you are having problems! I am a teacher, and I control a whole class with just my voice, so it can be done without touching your child. I say this because if you are really stressed out, you could overreact and spank just because something is bothering you. Here is what you do. Since there are 2 of them, Go to the store and pick out 2 rugs. These are the time out rugs. I say buy rugs because you can take them wherever you go! Chairs you cannot. Bring them to Grandmas, or a family function.. When the kids realize that you have it with you, they will know that you are not beyond using them elsewhere. They are to be put in a part of the house that there isnt a TV, or a radio on. No window to look out, and nothing for them to do. Tell them when they do something wrong, that they are to go to their time out rug. They are to sit there, facing the wall, and to be quiet. If they cry and scream, let them. This lets them know that YOU are in charge. If they get up, bring them back. Make sure not to escalate the situation. If they scream, then you whisper. They want to hear what you have to say, so they will lower their voice. When the time out is over.. usualy once min per year that the child is old starting at age 2- talk to them and let them know why you are upset. Tell them a better way to behave. Tell them the concequences of their actions. ALWAYS finish with a hug.. that lets them know that you still love them and it helps them if they are doing it for your attention. The other thing that you can do is take things away. Take away tv time, a fav toy, or whatever means alot to them. I have heard of parents being so over whelmed that they took out everything in their room but their bed and pillow. I think this is over doing it, but it shows that you are not messing around. Always talk in a quiet voice so that when you do have to yell, that they know that you are mad. My daughter knows when I am really mad when I yell.. and she knows when to stop her behavior. When you talk to them, make sure that you stoop down on the floor to their level. Make sure that what they want isnt your attention. Some children act out for attention, if they cant get good attention, they will act out for bad attention.. Just remember, YOU are the adult. Good Luck

Answer 2

Read a book called Love and Logic...it's about parenting without losing your cool. It's awesome, it worked for all my kids, and my husband too ;-)

They don't listen to you, fine....you've lost your energy and can't take them shopping, or make a snack, or whatever. If they're rude to you, oh how sad. The TV is gone (and seriously, put it in your room). They don't clean up, the toys go away (we put ours in garbage bags in the garage)

I would hesitate on the spanking, primarily because they are so old that it will breed resentment and sullenness. I would really push the Love and Logic though, look online at Love & Logic dot com.

If they are laughing, it's because they know that 1) YOU'VE lost your control, and that they are in control and 2) because they know that whatever you are threatening, isn't really going to happen.

And part of it is that they are just kids, still learning about the world. Teach them now, while the cost is low...they pull that crap in school, and they'd get in trouble, do it at a job, they'd get fired. Teach them now, and get that book! It's at every book store and at the public library as well. Most public schools have them also....

Answer 3

Hey - I've got 3 active kids - 2 of them 8 & 6. They feed off of each others energy. Make sure that you are providing ways for them to burn it off outdoors, so that you have a valid case for them to calm down inside. Low talking and loss of tv, computer - whatever sometimes works - but as some others have said - its trying to be consistent. Some of it is age related, and you're right - you need to get control of them now so they respect your authority -but don't spank them - that could always escalate, and does absolutely nothing for the self esteem of the child. Besides - will that work for you out in public? Nah. And to the reader who suggested it sounds like ADD/ADHD - don't even go there! Be confident in your parenting abilities - but make sure that you are providing constructive ways for them to burn their energy - and that they are getting some attention from you in other ways - then when you need your time & space - you can say enough - and mean it - and get the results you want. Good luck :)

Answer 4

You might try Watching Nanny 911or the Super Nanny. You may also try to get on the show. The one thing that you need to do is be consistant with your daughters. If you give them a punishment then stick to it. They know that you will give in thats why they are treating you this way. Maybe you also need to pick a different punishment. I'm sure that you are a good mom. Remember that you are in charge and not them. If they see a sign of weakness they take advantage of that. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

Get family counseling. I can tell you what you need to do. That is not the problem. The problem is to change years of bad habits concerning child rearing into good ones. The answer you asked for is:

say what you mean, mean what you say, don't say it mean, and do what you say you will do if they misbehave in the same way again. That is all there is to it, except learning how to put it into practice. Family Counseling will show you how to do it.

Good Luck. I know it works from experience, but it sure was not easy.

Answer 6

Have a look at thier diet. Even so called healthy foods have natural food chemicals that children can react to with similar behaviour to ADHD. Look at www.fedup.com.au
Also strip their entire room of everything except their beds/bedding and clothes. Say no to birthday invites/outings etc. Even take away favourite items of clothes. Tell them they need to earn these things back with respectful behaviour. If you don't get hold of this now image when they are 13 and 15 years old! Good luck.

Answer 7

stand each one in separate corners, if they do not listen to you physically grab there hand and face them in the corner, tell them don't move, or talk and face the wall until i say you can get up give them 10 minutes, if they move or talk add more time, and if they still don't listen, ground them, just tell them what your doing before you act on it, so that way you can see if it helps, what ever you tell them to do, stick to your guns(word) then they will know who's the boss, even if it takes weeks, just don't give up and say something and not follow through with it, stick to it, i know what you mean i have 8 year old boy and a11 year old boy

Answer 8

Take charge of the situation. It may require that you give them each a good swat on the backside. Never mind this "timeout" BS. Once they understand that you are the parent, and are in charge, they'll calm down. If their father is around, then make sure that he backs you up. Don't give in, and don't give up. Make the rules, and stick by them.

Answer 9

i'm 26 years previous and that i've got a 8 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous son. He has an Ipod and that i particularly enable him hear to regardless of he needs to. He loves Led Zeppelin and stuff like that. He has extraordinary flavor in music. There are some rap songs i does no longer enable him hear to, because of the fact he's basically 8, yet I enable him hear to Akon (he loves Akon). the way i examine out it, it relatively is basically music. If he particularly needs to hearken to something i does no longer enable him to, he will. All he has to do is bypass in the back of my back and hear persons's Ipods in college, on the bus, on the park or regardless of and maximum young ones has each and every thing on their Ipods. Yeah, your factor makes alot of expertise. youngsters are going to hearken to the music everywhere. Even on MTV or the radio, even although they do no longer play the cussing factors and the intercourse communicate, yet they understand how the music is relatively meant to be worded. ----------------- while i replaced into youthful, my mum and dad enable me hear to each thing. i did no longer become a murderer via hear to rap music, a stoner from listening to 70's music (nicely, perhaps i replaced into while i replaced into youthful, haha), or a cowboy for listening to u . s . a .... i've got faith sorry for those youngsters who's mum and dad holds them back from listening to what they prefer to and be who they prefer to...

Answer 10

Don't scream. Spank! One good swat on the fanny is enough to get their attention and let them know who is boss. Its a three step system. 1) warn them to stop 2) tell them that if they don't stop there will be consequences. 3) If they ignore you and keep up the bad behaviour tell them " I warned you, not bend over my knee." After awhile you only have to warn them.