Whether i am right to think my mother is pretty self centred person, selfish and senseless, i believe she is the cause of my brothers illness. Dignosed with Sciphorenia (sorry cant spell it), she has always been the one discouraging and placing negatitivity into his life. she did with me, when i lived at home. He wanted once to go to college yet she discouraged him to do that. He is now in hospital, i want to visit yet have been told to stay away, why should i? After all i am concerned, ok a little to late... he has been in there a while now... yet thinking about it recently, i grew more worried of the time he has spent in there. Surely, me visiting him would help his social abilities, and may cheer him up. He has always been happy to see me. So, what her problem with me going to see, him?
2006-11-05 08:09:18 · 29 answers · asked by lonely as a cloud 6 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Talk to his doctors about visiting. It's not your mom's place to make that decision. Keep in mind tho, she may be shielding you based on good intentions, or she may be concerned that you're not apt to be a consistent person in his life, which could make things harder on him. Again, talk to his doctors and be honest about what you can and can't commit to if they have concerns about continuity.
Schizophrenia is basically an organic illness. The enviroment does have some interplay, but it's not thought to alone have the power to cause the illness. In other words, your mom didn't make him have it, but she may (or may not) have exacerbated it.
2006-11-05 08:17:50 · answer #1 · answered by Alex62 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your brother has a personality disorder readily controlled with medication and it is not the big issue people seem to think it is. My uncle is schizophrenic and there can be many factors which contribute to the onset. You sound like you have both had a hard time at home, some counselling would be good for you, your brother will be getting lots of help where he is and maybe at some point he can rejoin the community? If it's your mum putting you off seeing him then you need to think about why this might be the case, my advice is go and see him. Speak to his mental health nurse if you are worried about the meeting and need some advice. Don't feel bad about it being late, you have your own reasons for staying away but your brother may enjoy seeing you. When you do go, be yourself and if your mum is the problem then make sure you visit him on your own.
2006-11-05 16:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by fuzzierfelt 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are right, but think about what you can do for your brother instead of how wrong your mother is about this issue.
Visit him regularly if you choose to visit him at all so that he will have something to look forward to in a depressing place like a mental hospital.
I was in a mental hospital for 3 weeks last month and it helped me a little when my brother came and visited me so I felt like someone actually cared about me enough to take time out of his busy schedule to see me.
If you have absolutely no way of visiting him there in person, call him on the phone as often as possible and don't mention his mother or anything negative that would put even the smallest amount of stress on him, since he is very fragile right now like I was last month.
2006-11-05 16:30:21 · answer #3 · answered by STILL standing 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your brother has schizophrenia your mother cannot have been the cause it is an organic malfunction in the brain, usually comes on during or after puberty. Sounds more to me as though you mum is a worrier and has over-protected both of you but particularly your brother. Do you know what happens when you go again after you have seen him? It might be that he misses you and gets 'difficult' and that would lead to the staff and your mum not wanting him 'upset' BUT you are right, if he is to get control of his illness and his life then he needs contact with you and others. Try talking with the staff, if you ask the questions you may well be pleasantly surprised at their reaction. After all they deal with him everyday and probably know more about him now than you or your mum. Remember he is ill and needs to be well again. Talk to you mum as well and try not to be irritated by her attitude, she probably thinks she is doing the right thing by protecting him from potential upset. Try it anyway and Good Luck to you and your Brother.
2006-11-05 16:29:36 · answer #4 · answered by Samuel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
call the hospital and speak to a nurse or dr treating your brother. They may actually be pleased to meet you and have you visit or there may be some other reason why your brother may not benefit from a visit at this time. Whatever the situation, find out for yourself, not second hand from your mother. And ask the Dr or nurse how best to let your brother know you care regardless of what your mother says.
2006-11-05 16:20:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Contrary to what someone else has answered, schizophrenia is NOT a personality disorder...it is a thought disorder. About your question...it sounds very benign to me, and quite normal, that you would want to visit your brother. If you're 18 or over, it's your decision to make. And, again, if you're 18 or over, go visit him. You're his sister, for goodness' sake. Your mother sounds like SHE's the one with a more severe mental disorder--a personality disorder. And a personality disorder can only be treated [and hopefully the person makes progressively positive changes during treatment] with very intense therapy--usually cognitive therapy. But enough about your mother...go visit your brother, spend time with him.
2006-11-05 16:26:17 · answer #6 · answered by Kent 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mother has some mental issues of her own.
Perhaps she is schizophrenic herself or she has some other mental/emotional disorder.
Is there a way for you to communicate with her doctor or with your brother's doctor? If you are the only sane one in the family you might need to intervene.
Are you forbidden to go see him? If not, don't even tell your mother that you are going there. Just do it. And I would defiantly suggest that you try to have a conversation with his doctor about your concerns with both him and your mother.
People don't get put in to a facility unless they present symptoms that show them the need to be there. There must be something about your brother for a doctor to place him in a facility.
Your mother might have what is call Munchhausen syndrome, which means she thrives on the drama of medical issues. With this syndrome your mother might be creating physical and mental issuse in your brother because she thrives on the attention she gets from the medical field. This is fairly rare but it could be an issue here.
Take good care of yourself and I am thankful that your mother was unable to push you in to that negative energy space that she appears to enjoy.
Do what you can do, and if you can't help you need to realize that you did what you could do and that you didn't cause this, can't cure it, can't control it and that your brother and mother need to take control of their own lives and you need to step away before you exhaust yourself with their problems. Let go and let God.
If you take this on for your lifetime, it will wear your spirit out.
You might need to step back and move on. Because if you don't take care of yourself you won't be any good to anyone.
2006-11-05 17:05:30 · answer #7 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take no notice of your mum. If he doesnt want to see you let him say that. I am sure however that he will be pleased to see you. It may even help lift his spirits. If you are still unsure then a quick phone call to the hospital and the staff can then ask your brother if he wants you to visit. Hope all works out the way you want it to. Take care.
2006-11-05 16:43:32 · answer #8 · answered by madhouse 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With your mother, it's a control issue. That's why she is preventing you from seeing your brother. And that is why she has tried to control every element of his life. You are right, she sounds very mentally unstable and I feel for you. If you are of a legal age, maybe you could bypass her order for no visitors to your brother and state to the doctor or nurse exactly why it would be good for you to visit him. However, she is probably his legal guardian and therefore she has say in these matters. Which would leave only one option, hiring an attorney. Even though his disorder may be inherited, I tend to believe it is the influence of diet and a dysfunctional family. Good luck!
2006-11-05 16:28:10 · answer #9 · answered by beautyofthesea 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to do what you think you should do. Your mother does seems a bit strange to me, but I cannot have an opinion as I don't know her side of the story nor the way she is emotionally.
She can't forbid you to see your brother and if you feel the need then go visit.
2006-11-05 16:13:22 · answer #10 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋