I started dating this girl a 2 months ago and things have progressed pretty fast (in terms of our feelings).. I am v. fond of her and we really enjoy our time together.
The problem is her dad. Let me start by saying the man is a complete headcase. He has phisically harmed & threatened his wife and & keeps his kids (his daughters 20 and his sons 18) as virtual prisoners. When i say this i mean.. both of them have to be in by 4:30pm everyday (her when she finishes work and him when he finishes college) and have to spend weekends with the family.
They have to do bizzare jobs for him, my gf, for example has to plough through the TV guide every week and put black tape over the shows he doesnt like (otherwise he goes mental).
This guy has banned his daughter from having contact with me so we have to meet in secret an is not allowed to mention my name in the house (ive never even met him). I want her to leave home.. not necessarily to be with me but to be free. but she seems scared.
2006-11-05 07:40:51 · 7 answers · asked by MonkeyKing669 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
oooh just to expand to give a fuller picture... other things this man does:
he has banned the numbers 14 and 76 in his house as they cause him to go wild woth rage... he disinfects all the shopping as is paranoid with germs.
Basically, I dont think he wants her to ever meet a boy or have children, he wants her, just like his wife (who hasnt been allowed out on her own for the past 8 years) to grow old and die there..
I also fear my gf is suffering from stockholm syndrome... like she keeps sticking up for her dad and i think she s terrified of life without him... the pain of seeing her like this is splitting my head open... can anybody give me some advice??
2006-11-05 07:46:58 · update #1
The man is a paranoid control freak, but he is still her dad.
You need to build her confidence up away from her home and show her what the real world has to offer and when she is ready to leave, help her to do it.
2006-11-10 07:33:18 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woah!!! Bloody hell! He's a lunatic! I think maybe you want to talk to your girlfriend about the two of you talking to her Dad about the whole issue. If she isn't keen on the idea, ask her if you could talk to him on your own, is she says no, don't do it anyway, it would probably offend both her and her Dad. However, if she agrees to the either option, discuss what you want to say with her first and let her agree on it as she knows him better. Ask her how she reckons you should present yoursef to him, for example, if he dislikes blue shirts for whatever reason, etc. Don't talk about yourself unless asked to. Try to flatter the man also. I would advise against making comments on the bizarre things he does/makes her do etc. If all goes well, make a point on what a wonderful person he is etc as you leave. However, if he gets angry and threatens you etc, I'm sorry but I think you ought to leave it as meeting her in secret would make him even more angry. Hope this helps! Good luck!
2006-11-05 08:20:26 · answer #2 · answered by Lady_Rachelina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't take a mental health professional to see that this guy has some serious problems. I don't believe it's entirely psychological. I think there's something wrong with his brain, and he probably needs some kind of medication.
It sounds like he has trained his family to be good little co-dependents. Someone needs to stand up to him. If he becomes violent, they need to call the police, and press charges.
The problem is, it isn't your place to do these things. What you can do is make it clear to your girlfriend that you have no desire to be a part of this family, as it is. "If you'll stand up to your old man, I'll back you up. If you don't, I'm out of here."
2006-11-05 07:59:15 · answer #3 · answered by Allen Montgomery 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a million. as much as you. i'm no longer answering that one. 2. properly no. She's in certainty cheating on you with a guy 31 years her senior. He could be her father! OR Grandpa. that's no longer on. 3. properly, i'd attempt an assertive ideas-set. yet i'm no longer an assertive individual, so i'd in all probability kick her out with a black eye. Or black eyes.
2016-10-03 07:41:12 · answer #4 · answered by armiso 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and meet him a.s.a.p introduce yourself as his daughters boyfriend and see what his reaction is. This guy sounds like a bully. Be strong and stand up to him. If he uses violence against you then report him to the police.
2006-11-05 07:57:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has to break away,this will probably be hard if she hasnt really been away from home. ofcourse she's afraid her dad is a bully. support her and try to persuade her to leave home for her own good
2006-11-05 08:01:27 · answer #6 · answered by danni.k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's proabally scared she's probally never really far from home
2006-11-05 07:46:33 · answer #7 · answered by mexicoroxs1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋