Why do good long term relationships go stale?

Question

I've seen a trend in relationships being destroyed after 1 and a half to 2 years. Why do you think this is?

Answer 1

Sometimes people just become complacent with their relationship and get stuck in a bit of a rut. In order for a relationship to stay active and alive there has to be lots of open and honest communication firstly. Also continue to do the things that you used to enjoy doing when you first met. Although maybe not as much as at first but it is like a nice security blanket trying to recapture some of the good old days at times. In addition don't forget to tell your partner how much they are loved and that you value them as often as possible.

Answer 2

Because it's not all romance forever. In the first 6 months to 1 year of a relationship, there's a lot of discovery and new territory, so much to learn about each other. There's hearts and butterflies and that feeling in your stomach about being in something good. It's easy to enjoy that part of the relationship!

But when that all passes - and it always does - you need something else to sustain you. It can only be hearts and roses for so long before it's not a new thing anymore. In my opinion, this is where you find out what the relationship is really made of. Some people get bored, which is fine. They break it off and move on. If you're bored, then relationship isn't as stimulating as you need it to be for a lifetime commitment! Some people notice all those little things that they absolutely cannot ignore or live with and they fight, nag, etc. Again, good, they break up, 'cause marriage would probably be a bad idea in this case.

But not all relationships fall apart. We don't always get bored with people after 2 years. (You probably have friends you've known since elementary school! Obviously something keeps us together.) And you're right, it is a trend, because most people will have a few failed relationships before they find the one that hooks them. Completely normal.

For those relationships that stick it out, after the romance period fades, instead of finding nothing or nitpicking details, they move on to another level of intimacy. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years, and yes, that initial romance has faded. But now that it's gone, instead of seeing a gaping hole of NOTHING like I did with my last boyfriend, I have found my best friend, somebody that really understands me. Of course we fight (shoot, I'm a die hard republican and I KNOW he voted for Kerry :P) but he stimulates me mentally and emotionally. I feel warmth and comfort in my relationship. He's my best friend! I enjoy his company and all the little things. I'm still learning new things every day (you never completely figure somebody out) even though that initial chase is gone. You'll find that romance is still there, it's just a bit different, a bit more comfortable, and sometimes takes a little bit more work to bring out. :) But it's all worth it!

Now it's not all guarenteed - you do have to work at these relationships and take extra care to stay intimate with each other (emotionally, intellectually, and physically). I think a lot of people lose track of those things because they take each other for granted and great relationships slip away. Just make sure you take care of your relationship, and don't settle for boredom!

Answer 3

I've never been in anything close to it of course I'm young and dumb (14)...but I personally believe it's because it gets boring or they lose interest. I guess because sometimes coupoles do the same thing over and over. If I were to ever be in a situation like that, I would try to do something new like go to a new restaurant or a new trip.

Answer 4

Because they start to get too comfortable with themselves forgetting that before they got to this "long-term relationship" place in their relationship, the chase was what kept them going. There should be constant discovery in the relationship so that it's always fresh and fun.

Answer 5

I can speak from experience! Plain and simple people just get tired of people. Habits that can't be changed but are over looked in the first years, but eventually get to the point that one or the other cant take it anymore. For me that was jelousy and it got to a point that i could not even hang out with my friends (guy friends no girls present) with out getting nagged at.

Answer 6

For the same reason that marriages go stale...both parties take each other for granted.

Relationships take lots of work to keep them fresh.

Answer 7

i think they go stale because they get tried of the some thing every day an other words they lose sight and confidants in each other.

Answer 8

You are doing nothing to keep the excitement in the relationship.

Answer 9

Boredom.

Answer 10

Lack of communication skills.