I always become interested in guys who show no interest in me, but I keep pusuing them anyways stupidly. Why do I do this to myself and why don't I just move on? I hide behind the guise of "being friendly" or just "being friends" but I honestly do want more. What is wrong with me? It's really self-destructive and pointless. Can anyone relate or give advice? Thanks!
2006-11-05 06:38:47 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I also seek men that I KNOW I can never have. It is very hurtful. I don't know why I do it either. They just have sex w/you & bail. I don't know but you aren't alone. Take care of YOU!
2006-11-05 06:41:48 · answer #1 · answered by IMHO 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Sweetie! Big Hug's!! I think as women we do this because..... The idea of not being able to have what you want is more appealing than knowing that a guy wants you.Honestly, it loose's its appeal.The thrill of the "hunt" so to speak, is more appealing than setteling for a guy who already wants you.I think its more passionate and rewarding when you set your site's on someone and achieve your goal.
Dont let me be mistaken.This is not a game.Real emotions are at stake.And sometimes we may never be able to get what we want.But that doesnt mean we have to settle!Let these experiences you have had,toughen up your skin,so to speak.And get back out there and try again.Because honestly women have been setting their sites on unexpecting men since the dawn of the ages.Know what you want! And allthough you come across as friendly and wanting to be friends.It does not hurt a little to flirt.Nor tell them that you like them and would like to get to know them.Sometimes men are clueless and if they start seeing you as a friend... then you may fall into the old "brother sister" relationship.Im not saying that always happens but it has heppened to me from time to time.But then again....... I married my best friend of 2 years.Where nothing ever went on then one day....poof!We were all over each other.Good Luck Hun! Keep your head Up!And remember..... Your a woman and you have the advantage.What we lack in muscle is nothing compared to the knowledge we have in ways of emotions.
2006-11-05 14:53:25 · answer #2 · answered by stargazerslilly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing strange about that. You like the chase. You don't want a guy that likes you, it's too easy. I understand I was the same way. As long as they are a challenge it's fun and exciting. And you'll probably be happiest in a relationship where the guy is kinda distant or plays hard to get. I married a man that really liked me and was all about me and I got bored real fast because there is no thrill in it. Anyway, it's just something you have to realize and work on or just leave it like it is and always be on the chase.
2006-11-05 14:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by megkenzee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl this will be hard to hear, but you need to chill. I'm the exact same way with girls. Recently I've noticed that when I like someone I change the way I act to get their emotion. When a real guy that's worth pursuing comes along he'll want the real you. Wait for him, and be happy with who you are. It's difficult after being crushed so many times to stand back up again. That's who it goes, just be you and people will like you for that.
2006-11-05 14:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by Crimson Stain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason you do yourself that way is because of low selfesteam. What you need to do is accept Jesus into your life and allow Him to heal your heart and show you what kind of woman you should be. God is the only one who can help you become that woman you should be. God made you fearfully and wonderfully made and you are unique in yourself. God did not make you to chase men or allow them to use you the way that you are allow them to. Seek the Word of God, read Proverbs and then go into the New Testament and start reading. Give God a try and you will feel better. God bless you.
2006-11-05 14:46:40 · answer #5 · answered by tfjfiggers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok now this should be interesting cos i am a guy who has tons and tons of crushes but am very carefull about making any commitments. I have tons of friends in college and most of them happen to be girls and trust me they are very close but if you are going to look at every dude hopin that he might be your mr perfect u will be in for a major dissapointment so just chill sis.Take things the way they come.
If someone wants to be your friend be his friend it may take him sometime to realize who u really r so dont worry about this stuff.Keep your mind occupied .
2006-11-05 14:47:37 · answer #6 · answered by Uzair(Stormshadow) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going after people you know don't like you is a way to protect yourself from rejection. It sounds odd but if you go in knowing you're not going to get anywhere, you won't be disappointed. If you were to truly pursue the men you like with your hopes up, you stand a chance of being hurt.
It's a deflection thing, a defense mechanism. You can't get rejected if you aren't interested... right? ;)
2006-11-05 14:42:17 · answer #7 · answered by misskate12001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a choice you need to make for yourself. Find a guy interested in you. Be interested in yourself! You'll attracted guys!! Let the guys who you want to more than friends with, know. Trust me, they aren't mind readers. It's difficult, but you'll have success in the end as long as you believe in yourself.
2006-11-05 14:42:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of girls do that, including me. Everyone finds their own way of dealing with that. I learned the hard way. I liked this one guy I just thought was cute and I ended up going out with him and it turned out a nightmare so i learned never to get involved with a guy i didnt know well.
2006-11-05 14:44:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ohh i can definitly relate.
try asking yourself what it is about these guys that u like. i dont think its self destuctive, ever girl has a crush on a few guys that she can never have.
2006-11-05 14:44:54 · answer #10 · answered by char 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋