Met a boy in June. We became friends. Talked my email or text every other day and have lots of mutual friends. My best female friend and his best male friend are a couple. He is a lovely person but is going through a rough patch including binge drinking and the likes. I know the person he can be but I also see the person he is now. He made a pass at me about 2 months ago which ended up in what he took as me rejecting him which was partly true. I kissed him but had no intention of sleeping with him which is what he was clearly aiming for although he claims he wants a relationship. Things have been strained between us since then communication is now every 2 weeks or so and then last about a couple of days then quiet again. He has admitted he was embarassed about his behaviour to mutual friends but he was also a bit of a player 4 yrs ago although seems reformed. I know I should not date him but I have not ruled it out.
2006-11-05 06:28:40 · 21 answers · asked by confused 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We bumped into each other yesterday and he was a gentleman although completly drunk and tried to be friends again with the usual lets meet up and I miss you etc etc..
My questions are:
1) is he just trying to get me into bed
2) is it possible to just be his friend
3) is it possible to actually have a relationship and how would i go about it
4) should i text him and say nice to bump into you
5)) bearing in mind i live in a small town and we have a lot of friends in common what is the best way to deal with such a situation.
6) he never chases me as afriad of rejection but once he gets positive signals is very flirty.
7) how do i make it clear i am nota one night stand its friends or relationship but nothin inbetween - yes i now the alcohol is an issue but willing to work through that if i have to.
2006-11-05 06:30:51 · update #1
No.
2006-11-05 06:29:51 · answer #1 · answered by S K 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I have more friends who are women than I do friends who are men. I just find that I relate to women better and find them much more attractive! If you've got to have friends, they may as well be good-looking, right? ;)
I'd avoid any kind of relationship with him until he at least chills out on the drinking - it shows immaturity as well and poor self-control. If he's an alcoholic, he won't really be able to show you the love and respect you deserve until he cleans up his act. Alcoholism is an addiction - the only thing he can really love is the booze.
2006-11-05 06:33:44 · answer #2 · answered by wrarx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe the only way men and women can ever be just friends is if one or both of them are attached to other people and are very happy with this and will never stray. Otherwise there are usually periods, however short, where the either the man or the woman (or both) will be attracted to each other and something will happen.
2006-11-05 08:02:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only after men are 30 or so...
When younger the hormones just keep raging and they don't know how to deal with it..
It's hard when you think about sex every 6 seconds.
Not like we try to be pigs. We are just wired that way.
Competition for a mate thing.
When we get older we learn discipline and become effective leaders and friends.
2006-11-05 06:33:48 · answer #4 · answered by Kaustaub 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think that you should first find out what you want. Do you want a relationship or a "moment in time" kind of thing....after that i think that you'll know for sure...if you dont see a future with this guy then obviously dont pick him and if you see it has a thing to pass the time then i guess go for. Make sure you just dont get to caught up into it.
2006-11-05 06:33:02 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as sad as it is in most cases no
they usually build over time some kind of like for eachother that just comes from being around eachother and blah blah
if your gone be friends with somebody of the opposite sex make sure it's somebody your extremly NOT attracted to who you'd never see yourself in a million years dating
if you find yourself repulsed by dating them then a friendship could occur
but it's hard being friends with somebody your somewhat attracted to
2006-11-05 06:32:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a guy friend is complicated because one minute you think they are just friends to you and the next they act so differently. Your not sure what they think of you, as a friend or something else. Its hard but the more you hang with them the more you kind of know them. I noticed that the guy friends i have are the ones who i know longer. Some of my guy friends use to have a crush on me but we got to know each other better and they like to be my friend more. You should get to know him more and discover you true feelings for him and for him to discover his for you.
2006-11-05 06:38:16 · answer #7 · answered by Star and Moon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly how you feel. go ahead and show your interested in a relationship( if you are). But just dont sleep with him. It is possible to be just friends too. but it sounds like he does want a relationship, as well as sex too. but thats natural. Sex doesnt make a relationship, and he should respect your opionion of waiting until ur ready.
2006-11-05 06:34:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's quite obvious that you want a relationhip with him.
It is also obvious that you know that he is a player .. and that you will go the way of all the other girls .. dream on ...goood luck
If you want to do it .. do it .. and stop the game playing .. you know what you are getting yourself into ... and contrary to what you girls think ... it does not matter how long you make him wait...
DR BAd
2006-11-05 06:54:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i believe men and women can be just friends. some of my best friends are guys. it's nice to be able to talk to them and get a guys persective on things. which i'm sure is the same for them to get a girls persective on things. if you do date him, take things slow so you don't ruin the friendship you have now.
2006-11-05 06:38:08 · answer #10 · answered by jdchick48 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked ths before and I am telling you again..NO!
If you aren't going to sleep with him then leave him alone.
2006-11-05 06:30:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋