Ok, my wife and I are concerned about her daughter. She is only 2 but she has made really innapropriate comments and does things that a 2 year old should know nothing about. When we tell her not to do that and that it is bad she says, "daddy does it". She has been known to lie about small things when you ask her a question. But when she comes up with stuff out of the blue it makes us wonder what is going on at her dads. So, I guess what I am asking is: Is there any kind of small camera that can be put in a hair bret or something of that nature so we can find out if he is messing with her? We need something that can be on her if her cloths are off. Any advise would be appreciated.
2006-11-05 05:55:05 · 21 answers · asked by Concerned 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Sweety, first things first, when it comes to matters such as this, it is no small thing at all, it’s a just incase thing. You don’t want to be sorry for not finding but , now what’s really going on. I agree with the lady about taking her to the doctor. They will be able to know right away if anything has happened. Its very obvious to me you two are both very caring parents and you have never brought your question here. Sometimes it helps to hear what others have to say on this and other parenting matters. So I want to fist commend you for taking this stand…
At 2 years old, lies or no lies, they are not able to comprehend some things unless taught. So if daddy is doing it, then why is it wrong, that’s how she is thinking? She isn’t thinking well, I will touch myself and blame it on daddy their little brains just aren’t that up to speed on things, just yet, THANK GOD.(smile)
You wife could look herself, if she is at all comfy with doing so, something’s it gets a bit hard for us parents to do things like that and understandable, if your daughter is red, or irritated, something is not right, if there is a odor, or discharge of any kind, again something is not right.
Normally a child will touch him or herself, but again what they do is harmful, they are not doing it for pleasure but rather trying to figure out what it is and how it works. The troubling phrase she is using is well daddy is doing it.
I am currently working with a 4 year old that just out of the blue started getting violent towards her mother and teachers, till the point where she was kicked out of her school, for spitting, hissing and kicking. They actually tested her for AdhD and ADD and Bipolarize as a result, instead of anyone looking into why she was acting out. It was later discovered only 3 months later, that she was being penetrated by her biological father. So it can happen and it’s horrible. Just thinking about it makes me furious, that no one paid attention to this beautiful baby, how unfair to her life is now, all because everyone around her chooses to tag her with an anger management problem. The tale tell signs where there, her touching herself and other children, always trying to be with men, lying, being violent. And sadly, a missed sign of being touched physically.
Just be aware and please be careful as this is nothing to take lightly at all. Please also don’t make a big deal out of it, don’t accuse until everything is matched up and or confirmed with your doctors. Being this is such a horrible thing, its needs to be investigated wisely to ensure no one is hurt emotionally and physically.
Meanwhile, I’ll be praying for you and your entire family to lead you all in the right directions.
2006-11-05 06:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by ******************** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very serious issue. I would first look at the behavior and consider is this something being done to her, or something she is seeing? She could also be acting out if she sees him with another woman or watching an inappropriate video. If it is something she is seeing than you can talk to him about the inappropriateness of what she is viewing in his home. And DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. If it goes beyond her seeing the inappropriate actions and she is being abuse, you MUST contact the police immediately. I know it's a tough situation and you need to make sure that you are correct before accusing, because an alligation of this nature backed or not can completely ruin someone's life "IF" they are innocent. Good luck! Hope all turns out well. You sound like you're the positive, concerned father figure for this child.
2006-11-05 06:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by Wait a minute 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At two year's old a child has no concept of what a lie is and therefore it is almost impossible for a two year old to lie. They don't have the cognative thought processes adults do and for the most part can't grasp the difference between fact and fantasy at two. That is why there are monsters in the closets and under the beds. As an adult you KNOW that isn't true but to a two year old that is very true. So I doubt very much that your step daughter has ever lied. The only way you will find out for sure is to have her evaluated. Speak with her doctor and tell him/her of your concerns, the doctor will set up an evaulation with someone TRAINED in early childhood psychology/development and they can determine if what she is relating is fact or pretend. Your own behavior towards her makes me question your own ability to parent...calling a two year old a liar when they have no concept of such. That's tantamount to emotional abuse...so she's getting it from both sides, poor kid.
2006-11-05 06:30:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe ask him to babysit at your house on day . Then you can put a camera somewhere and not worry about it being found. My 4 yr old daughter has a friend that said to her "take your pants off and i'll give you a lolly". I thought kids just dont say thoses things unless they have heard it somewhere else. I still wonder about it and if shes ok. I dont want to accuse someone and ruin their life if im wrong. Find out ASAP.Trust your instincts.
2006-11-05 11:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by Kylie P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you suspect something is going wrong, trust your instincts. First, I would try to have her act out what daddy does, either to her own body or with dolls. Next, I would consult your pediatrician (who by law is probably going to have to report it). Third, if the pediatrician doesn't report it, YOU should report it to the police. A mother's instincts are very powerful and I would trust them. Better safe than sorry.
Does your step daughter resist going to her father's house? What exactly is making you think she is being molested? Toddlers are just beginning to discover their own bodies and they realize at a pretty young age that touching themselves feels good. Her "daddy does it" remark could be something as simple as daddy puts his hand down his pants while watching tv, so she's doing it. Still, even if it's nothing, better safe than sorry.
2006-11-08 10:11:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would have to do some research but I would suggest something like a necklace /locket type-that way it would be on her all the time. and not taken out of her hair if she was sleeping. Also tell her that it is a special necklace and to never take it off. I really hope this is not the case though. Good luck
2006-11-05 06:16:25 · answer #6 · answered by Samantha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is saying and doing things that she should not I would question the dad and if he flairs up you know that something is not right. I would not allow her to go back over there any more. I say this from experience, something is not right. Also take her to a doctor and get her examine and you will know for sure what I'm talking about. Know that I feel for you and God bless you.
2006-11-05 06:09:50 · answer #7 · answered by tfjfiggers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO TO THE POLICE! DONT feel afraid, once they have him he cant (or wont dare) do anything to you! DONT feel bad, because, as we've all agreed, he is NOT a good guy- your friendship with him is in the past! DONT go anywhere alone, just in case. DONT try to "forget about this" because he "started to back off"... sexual predators don't back off ever, and isnt it better to nab him (or at least get his name in the police files) now before he can become a full on rapist?!? DO tell your boyfriend and brother, but only after you've talked to the police- You dont want them to get in trouble for doing something rash. DO be careful and DO carry a rape whistle with you (you'd be surprised how well they work!)
2016-05-22 01:27:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to her pediatrician immediately. It might not be the bio dad but someone else who he might have watch her while he goes out for a bit. Better to be safe than sorry, and if the bio dad is innocent he'd have no problem with it. I wouldn't do the hidden camera route. If someone is molesting her finds it on her the baby might be in danger.
2006-11-05 06:12:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are all kinds of tiny spy cameras that can be fashioned into things. It would be hard to do but I linked to a tiny one below (I'm not sure if it is wireless but I think it is). I think that you can make a big bow around that one and attach it to a barrette
Good Luck, dont give up, its important to know or to rule it out.
2006-11-05 06:03:26 · answer #10 · answered by CaTT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋