I was asked to stay with my girfriends kids while she went
away for weekend and her teen daughter basically took advantage of situation and did something behind my back. Would you discuss with teen first or parent first?
2006-11-05 05:04:06 · 14 answers · asked by gloria 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Parent.
The teen will try to manipulate you into covering it up or somehow minimizing the impact of what she did. Its just human nature. If that fails, she will try to manipulate you into advocating for lesser punishments, or even for advocating for a certain one that is not as impactful as the one her mother would choose.
You are in a very vulnerable situation since she is not your child. You need to tell her mother, and let her mother decide what the punishment should be!
2006-11-05 05:12:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to the child first. Let them know you are aware of what they did and ask why she went behind your back and did was she was forbidden to do. Then talk with the parent. Only the parent can punish the child. However as a person who raised up both my sisters boys now age 16 and 15. I wish you luck in getting the truth out of the teenager.
2006-11-05 05:33:09 · answer #2 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think mom is your first place to go. This isn't just an issue with you, its a larger issue of trust. Mom trusted her children to listen and follow your guidance. The daughter manipulated and took advantage of a situation she shouldn't have. I would be with your friend when she confronts the teen. And I would supply any facts that you know ahead of time. Hopefully, your relationship with your friend is strong enough and she is not in denial about her "little darlings."
2006-11-05 05:44:14 · answer #3 · answered by Magic One 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First since you are not the parent you should confront the teen and tell her that you know exactly what she did and that it was wrong of her to do it. Then proceed to tell her that you have no choice but to tell her mother. Then definitly bring it up to the parents and be firm with your story. If you have a lot of um's in there then they'll be less likely to believe you. A parent never wants to believe that their child is doing wrong.
2006-11-05 05:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The teen first. You need to let her know how she dis-respected you and your rules and your home.
It's not uncommon for a teen to pull a stunt when the parent is gone, but you need to tell her, and also let her know you will be going to her mother next and you'd also like it if she joined you in the conversation.
Then I'd tell the mother.
2006-11-05 05:30:13 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could go both ways. You could discuss it with the teen to see what lies she spews out and then go to the mother with the story and her teenager's lies. If you go to the mother and tell her, make sure you are with her when she confronts her daughter so that the teenager can't call YOU a liar.
2006-11-05 05:07:51 · answer #6 · answered by Lesleann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a troublesome question. perhaps sharing with them what occurs for the time of being pregnant will cause them to sense at peace. they'd stay it by using you. in case you think of it bothers them ask them. perhaps they like speaking approximately it. As many cool and stable issues contain being pregnant so do undesirable and nasty issues. i think of that's great that your mom became waiting to have a new child via adoption. that's unquestionably pleasant having your very own yet elevating a new child there is no longer something like it. I wish the folk who do no longer take care of their infants could no longer have them and those that make stable mothers and fathers could continually have infants. i'm particular they are satisfied for you. Congrats via the way.
2016-10-03 07:34:48 · answer #7 · answered by regula 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The teen first then the parent.At least the teen will know whats coming to her when her mommy gets home.
2006-11-05 06:42:15 · answer #8 · answered by cybefree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one. You don't want the teen to hate you and cause problems in your relationship with her mom. If it wasn't to bad of a thing. I would just discuss it with her. And tell her shes getting a 2nd chance with you.BUT if she does it again you will goto her mom next time.
2006-11-05 05:11:34 · answer #9 · answered by cin_ann_43 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as soon as i found out what the teen did behind my back, i would call her on it. let her know she didn't get away with anything, and, if she did this with me, that she is probably doing the same with her mom. i would let the teen know that i'm telling her mom. it's not your place to discipline her child - that's up to the mother.
2006-11-05 05:16:56 · answer #10 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋